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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 10 — Issue 10 — May 11, 2010
Published every other Tuesday


Hi, all! Some good stuff for you today ... don't miss the "stimulus" sermon in the Guest Article slot ... also a link (in the "Healthier You" segment) to a 15-part series that just might change the way you look at your health ... and a marvelous article in the Inspiration section especially for those of you who believe in guardian angels.

Finally, there is the feature article for those of you who have trouble understanding how to love God. This should help. Enjoy! :-)


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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If my people, which are called by my name,
shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
my face, and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive
their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera




"When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others."



A Healthier You


Can you really heal yourself in 15 days? Without using prescription drugs, vaccines, chemotherapy or surgery? Absolutely! So says the Health Ranger, Mike Adams.

To see his new Heal Yourself in 15 Days series, see this site:

Heal Yourself in 15 Days! And while you're there, pick up your free subscription as well.





Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science.

—Gary Zukav



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Feature Article


For the Love of God, How do I do That?

Many people do not seem to understand how a person can actually love God. That's because they think of God as an invisible being far away in the clouds somewhere.

They ask themselves, "How can I possibly love someone I've never seen and cannot touch?"

First of all, He can be seen if only we will stop to look for Him. Nature abounds with evidence of His existence.

Secondly, we can touch His heart with acts of love and compassion for our fellow sojourners along the way. And He can, and often does, touch the hearts of those who spend time with Him every day.

As to how to love someone invisible, how many times have you heard of people falling in love through letters, over the phone, and now even over the Internet?!

True, people are attracted by each other's images and appearance, but unless that attraction quickly grows by sharing mutual interests and feelings and values and morals and beliefs, etc., it quickly evaporates.

A story I heard recently told of a man and a woman who had carried on just such a romance. Neither had any clue as to what the other looked like.

They decided it was time to meet. At the pre-arranged hour, the man was dismayed to discover a worn looking older woman, a bit on the doudy side, wearing the pre-designated red carnation on her shoulder.

However disappointed he must have felt, he was most gracious to her, as she was to him, a debonair young man in the prime of life. And he made another date with her later that evening to meet her for dinner at a very nice restaurant.

When he arrived at the restaurant, she already was seated, and he took his chair across the table from her. Very shortly, she excused herself to visit the ladies' room, and she did not return. Instead, a lovely young woman came to his table and introduced herself as his long-distance romantic interest.

It seems that she intentionally had sent the older woman in her place to satisfy herself that her outward appearance was of little matter to him. After he got over the shock, he was delighted to discover the truth of the matter, and they delighted in retelling the story to their grandchildren many years later.

The man had fallen in love with a voice on the telephone and the ideas that had been exchanged between them.

The point is that it is very possible to fall in love with the Lord. And this all was brought home to me very recently, after I happened to read a book called, "Conversations with God," purportedly an account of an Oregon man's ongoing conversation with God.

The book itself is fascinating and contains a lot of references, not only to Christianity, but to other lines of belief, and even agnostic and atheistic thought. Although there are a lot of things discussed in the book with which I agree, there are too many with which I cannot possibly agree. And, therefore, I must conclude that an "angel of light," as it were, must be messing with this man's mind.

To embrace the thoughts expounded in that book would mean that I would have to discard most of what I believe, and I could never do that. It did, however, make me realize that I really do love the Lord and enjoy the time I get to spend with Him.

To stop believing in the Lord as I do would leave such a huge void in my life that I would not wish to live in this messed up world one day longer.

Just as the man in the story above fell in love with an unseen personage through her voice, I also seem to have fallen in love with an Unseen Personage through His Voice in the Bible and through years of communing with the Lord through prayer, music and meditation.

If you don't already have this wealth in your life, I wish it for you most sincerely.

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Test Your Bible Knowledge

When were Israelites required to free their servants?

a — In the seventh year of service
b — In the twelfth year of service
c — When the servant produced offspring
d — Never

Scroll down for the answer.





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—Norman Vincent Peale



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Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

—Samuel Ullman



Today's Chuckle


Retirement Life

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a s---head.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We had come into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker...We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.





Here is a simple but powerful rule:
Always give people more than what they expect to get.

—Nelson Boswell



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

This one concerns the misuse of "proceeding" and "preceding." Now listen up!

"Proceeding" can be a noun or a verb. Used as a noun, it is an event, such as in a legal proceeding. This is the root word of "procession." Used as a verb, it means going forward with something, as in: "We were proceeding up the gangplank," or "He proceeded to take off his coat."

"Preceding" means coming or going before, as in: The preceding sentence describes the erroneous use of this word. This is a form of the root word, "precedent," as used in legal terminology, viz: setting a precedent.

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Reminder: We have a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: adm@elfexpressionsezine.com





The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

—Leo Tolstoy



Guest Article



Recent Virginia Church Service—Stimulus Sermon
Delivered by Unknown Pastor

I would love to give the pastor of this predominantly black church in Virginia a hug and a high five. This guy is obviously a leader.

Perhaps we should each decide who our real leader is. It is amazing to see that very little has changed in 4,000 years.

Good morning, brothers and sisters; it's always a delight to see the pews crowded on Sunday morning, and so eager to get into God's Word. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you will to the 47th chapter of Genesis, we'll begin our reading at verse 13, and go through verse 27.

Brother Ray, would you stand and read that great passage for us? ... (reading) ...

Thank you for that fine reading, Brother Ray. So we see that economic hard times fell upon Egypt, and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and placed the grain in great storehouses that he had built. So the people brought their money to Pharaoh, like a great tax increase, and gave it all to him willingly in return for grain. And this went on until their money ran out, and they were hungry again.

So when they went to Pharaoh after that, they brought their livestock—their cattle, their horses, their sheep, and their donkeys—to barter for grain, and verse 17 says that only took them through the end of that year.

But the famine wasn't over, was it? So the next year, the people came before Pharaoh and admitted they had nothing left, except their land and their own lives. "There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our land. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we with our land will be servants to Pharaoh." So they surrendered their homes, their land, and their real estate to Pharaoh's government, and then sold themselves into slavery to him, in return for grain.

What can we learn from this, brothers and sisters?

That turning to the government instead of to God to be our provider in hard times only leads to slavery? Yes ... that the only reason government wants to be our provider is to also become our master? Yes.

But look how that passage ends, brothers and sisters! "Thus Israel settled in the land of Egypt, in the land of Goshen. And they gained possessions in it, and were fruitful and multiplied greatly." God provided for His people, just as He always has! They didn't end up giving all their possessions to government, no, it says they gained possessions! But I also tell you a great truth today, and an ominous one.

We see the same thing happening today—the government today wants to "share the wealth" once again, to take it from us and redistribute it back to us. It wants to take control of health care, just as it has taken control of education, and ration it back to us, and when government rations it, then government decides who gets it, and how much, and what kind. And if we go along with it, and do it willingly, then we will wind up no differently than the people of Egypt did four thousand years ago—as slaves to the government, and as slaves to our leaders.

What Mr. Obama's government is doing now is no different from what Pharaoh's government did then, and it will end the same. And a lot of people like to call Mr. Obama a "Messiah," don't they? Is he a Messiah? A savior? Didn't the Egyptians say, after Pharaoh made them his slaves, "You have saved our lives; may it please my lord, we will be servants to Pharaoh"?

Well, I tell you this—I know the Messiah; the Messiah is a friend of mine; and Mr. Obama is no messiah! No, brothers and sisters, if Mr. Obama is a character from the Bible, then he is Pharaoh. Bow with me in prayer, if you will ...

Lord, You alone are worthy to be served, and we rely on You, and You alone. We confess that the government is not our deliverer, and never rightly will be. We read in the eighth chapter of 1 Samuel, when Samuel warned the people of what a ruler would do, where it says "And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the Lord will not answer you in that day ..."

And Lord, we acknowledge that day has come. We cry out to you because of the ruler that we have chosen for ourselves as a nation. Lord, we pray for this nation. We pray for revival, and we pray for deliverance from those who would be our masters. Give us hearts to seek You and hands to serve You, and protect Your people from the atrocities of Pharaoh's government.

In God We Trust ...
Genesis 47:13-27

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Understand your purpose in life by feeling your heart's desires.

—Marcia Wieder





Answer to Bible trivia:

a — In the seventh year of service



Inspiration


The Little Girl in the Park
Contributed by Jodi Kalas

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by.

She never tried to speak, she never said a word. Many people passed but no one would stop. The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot as she was yesterday, and still with the sad look in her eyes.

Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone. As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress was obscenely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to help.

Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different. As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the obscene shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped-over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK, I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple Hello.

The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi," after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me and with a sad face said, "Because I'm different."

I immediately said, "That you are!" and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."

"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent. She looked at me and smiled. Slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?"

"Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all those people walking by."

She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she spread her wings and said, "I am. I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless, sure I was seeing things. She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done.

"I got to my feet and said, "Wait. So why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me and smiled, "You're the only one that could see me," and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically.

So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.




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