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Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 10 — Issue 2 — January 26, 2010
Published every Tuesday


Hi, everyone, and I'd like to start off with a huge heads-up to one and all! When I opened my computer on January 15, I had yet another email from Kohl's. I hit the "unsubscribe" link and found a strange address instead of my own. So I entered my own in place of it ... BIG mistake! Immediately, I received multiple alerts telling me I had several viruses that needed to be removed at once and that my system already was compromised. My system started grinding to a halt, so I ordered their software but received nothing ... nothing but the same infernal message again and again.

There was no contact info, no nothing. Just utter frustration, so on Saturday I disconnected everything and took my computer to the fellow who has done wonders for me for years, only to find that he had died last October 30! That was an utter shock and devastating, to say the least.

But Robert's partners had been with him since they all were in kindergarten. (They're in their mid-forties.) And so they soon discovered that I had a major virus that had wiped out all my programs, even though I had backed up a day or so earlier. (They were able to save most of my documents, thank God!)

Long story short, I'm back in business, but whatever you do, do NOT do ANYTHING with any email from Kohl's. The perpetrators, of course, have nothing to do with Kohl's; they're just using their good name. If you do get any emails from Kohl's, delete them immediately. One of our sons gets them as well, and I am sure they are all over the place. Be warned!


--------------------------


In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

------------------------------------

Smile!

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera




Nine-tenths of wisdom is appreciation.
Go find somebody's hand and squeeze it ...
while there's still time.

—Dale Dauten



A Healthier You


This feature will return next issue.
I have something very interesting that should be ready by then. :-)





Good management consists in showing average
people how to do the work of superior people.

—John D. Rockefeller



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Feature Article


How to Have Your Computer Cake and Keep Your Family, Too!

Your family comes first—or does it?

Since you've been spending so much time with your new home computer, is your family showing signs of jealousy? Do they compete with this inhuman time hog for your time? Or, at least, do they FEEL they have to?

And what can you do about it? After all, you're just trying to make everything better . . . I mean, look at it this way, if you can just find a way to generate an automatic income from the 'net, SOMEDAY you'll be able to quit your outside job and be home with them all the time, right?

So they should be understanding and go with the flow ... these things take time, you know ...

You know it, and I know it, but do THEY know it? And what's more, do they really understand that, after all, the computer is just a means of communicating with other people and a tool to make money with—for all of you? And do they really believe that "one day" you will be free to spend more time with them than they really want anyway?

Things were a little tense at our house—and, lucky me, I have only a husband to consider (our ten children are grown)—until I finally worked out a happy and very workable solution to it all.

My husband is semi-retired, so he is around the house quite a lot—even more than I am. So when I am home, he enjoys having my full attention ... don't get me wrong here ... I enjoy his just as much. It's just that, for now, the computer/internet has to be allotted large chunks of my time, if I'm ever going to achieve my goal of financial independence via same—for both of us.

And we all know that, if you have children at home, they usually demand (and deserve) an even larger chunk of your time than your mate does.

However, whatever the size of your family ... TA-DAAAAAAAAA........it matters not. What DOES matter is that YOU are the only person in your family who has the power to work out this dilemma and get things under control ... before you emerge from your home office one day and find no one is left to care if you stay in there all day or not!

Here's the plan:

— Get yourself a kitchen timer, and set it for one hour.

— Work at your computer for that hour.

— When the timer goes off, allow yourself one minute to finish up whatever you are doing.

— Then GET UP and GET AWAY from the computer.

— Spend the next fifteen minutes or so DOING SOMETHING with your family—one or all of them.

— WHAT you do isn't as important as the fact that you ARE doing something with THEM!

— If the kids are home, go outside and play catch with them.

— If it's raining, stay inside and play a quick game with them—or read to them—or just sit and talk with them.

— IMPORTANT: during "their" time, resist the urge to criticize them in any way.

— If no one is home, take that 15-minute break anyway to REST YOUR EYES and WRIST and BACK.

— Try NOT to sit down during this 15-minute period—your back will thank you.

— Take a walk—I just read the other day that walking is absolutely the best exercise for everyone over age thirty!

— Put on some music and dance—alone or with your kids—yes, even with your husband!

— Anything else that you can think of that doesn't continue to put a load on your eyes, your wrist, or your backside!

Besides allowing more time for your family, you also will benefit immensely from this plan by resting your own body, and you will return to work refreshed and more alert.

What this small break means to them is immeasurable—for one thing, they know you will be available shortly, and so they will tend not to interrupt you during your "on" hour—especially if you take the time to explain the "program" to them at the beginning.

If they understand WHY you need this time ... If they feel you really would rather be with THEM ... If they see you making a real effort to take some of your time just for THEM ... THEN they will begin to see the big picture.

THEY will feel better and less hostile toward the computer, and YOU will feel less guilty about spending precious time online.

So when you first start to implement your plan, be sure to sit down with the whole family and tell them that:

— The computer is just a way to talk to other people and make money for the family.

— You realize that the computer is taking up some precious time that you would rather be spending with them.

— You know that they feel that they are bothering you every time they need to interrupt you, and that they don't like having to feel that way.

— You have come up with a plan so that you can work without interruption and still spend time with them.

You will have their undivided attention, believe me.

And after you have explained "the plan" to them, get off on the right foot and tell them that you're going to start with THEIR time, and then spend the next 15-20 minutes doing just that.

DON'T set the timer for THEIR time—it's just not good psychology!

BUT do stay aware of the time, and when it's "computer" time, be gentle, but firmly retreat to your work station ... set the precedent ... and set the timer!

©2000, Mary Wilkey,

=========================================================

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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Fill in the blanks: "For in much wisdom is much _____: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth ______."

1 — joy, happiness
2 — truth, hope
3 — grief, sorrow
4 — understanding, wealth

Scroll down for the answer.





Here is a simple but powerful rule:
Always give people more than what they expect to get.

—Nelson Boswell



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Years may wrinkle the skin, but to
give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

—Samuel Ullman



Today's Chuckle


They'll Be Provided

An old school preacher was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course, using Biblical phraseology whenever he could.

"Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord, and given over to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing, and a great gnashing of teeth!"

At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to ask, "But, Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?"

The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends, the Lord is not put out by minor details. Rest assured, if necessary ... teeth will be provided!"





Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.

—Dr. Joyce Brothers



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

Did you know that lions and tigers now have progressed to the point that they will actually "pray" on you? I have not actually seen either of these animals kneeling with paws folded and heads bowed, but someone must have, at least they have written that they "pray"!

What this moron meant was, of course, "prey" ... and just when I think I may be running out of material for this feature!

=========================================================

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The best portion of a good man's life: his little,
nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

—William Wordsworth



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Guest Article



An Oldie but Goodie

This is a "Letter to the Editor" that The Reverend Charles Stanley of North Carolina sent to every major newspaper in the world, including Pakistan and Iran (Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria do not have newspapers on the Internet.).

"An open letter to terrorists and to those who harbor and support you, from an American grandfather.

"I am told by the leaders of my government that you are intelligent people. In light of your actions, I am having growing difficulty believing that. At the very least, it has become increasingly obvious that you lack a fundamental comprehension of my psychology as an American.

"I hear on our news broadcasts that your rage is fueled by my support of Israel. It has never been about nationality or religious faith—never about Jew vs. Arab. I thought you would finally have understood that when I sent my children into harm's way in order to protect the innocent citizens of Arab Kuwait from the savage wolf who would devour them for his own gain.

"It has everything to do with the lessons taught to me by my father— and his before him for many generations before the white man came to this land we call America. I have a vivid memory of coming home, as a boy of about nine years of age, and telling my father of feeling helpless horror as I watched the neighborhood bully unmercifully torment a boy even smaller than myself. My father reflected for a long moment, then quietly inquired of me as to what I had done about it.

"I said that I had watched until it was over and had then come home. The look in his eyes penetrated me to my core, for he had never looked at me in that way before. He said that he was deeply ashamed of me, and he sent me to my room with instructions to think about what had happened. It seemed hours before he came to my door. He sat beside me on my bed and, for a painfully long while, he said nothing.

"When finally he spoke, he explained, 'There will always be among us dishonorable men who are devoid of humanity and compassion. They are but naked animals and an empty shell of what truly is a man. They attempt to fill their emptiness by the exercise of power over others, thinking that it makes them whole men. Often they are enraged that they do not even understand their own emptiness, what it is that they lack.

'When these men are also cowards, they disguise themselves as sheep among the flock and attack from the shadows. This is the vilest form of subhuman behavior for even animals attack openly when they must attack.

'When humanity and integrity are present in a man, he expresses them as compassion. When compassion and strength achieve perfect balance within a man, they manifest as wisdom. The compassionate man feels the pain of others. The wise man protects others from pain. For, if you watch and do nothing to protect others, who will come to your aid when you alone remain and the bully comes for you?

'Some things are far more important than your personal safety and freedom from pain. If ever again you see someone being hurt, protect him, even if you are certain to be injured in the process. Then I will know that I have truly raised a man.'"

"Anyone who understands the impact of this lesson— and how deeply it runs in the man I have become, will understand my unflinching willingness to sacrifice my children in defense of Arab and Jew alike, when they are threatened by the bullies and cowards of the world.

"And please do not insult my intelligence with claims of Jewish treatment of Palestinians. I am old enough to retain vivid memories of 1948. I remember the excitement of the Jews over the prospect of governing "with" them. Their reaction, and that of their neighbors, was to attempt to finish what the Nazis could not. Repeatedly.

"Intelligent men? I, for one, am stunned by the monumental stupidity of your arrogance. Did you actually think that only Americans would occupy the World Trade Center? You have but fired the first pitiful salvo of World War III, for the entire world is now preparing to come after you, your host, your financiers and your supporters.

"And please, do not listen to what I say. You would do far better to watch the sky. I must say that I owe you a profound debt of gratitude. Not for what you have done or what you have unleashed upon the world, but for what you have accomplished. For not one among us could have accomplished it. On Monday, September 10, 2001, we were a divisive, apathetic nation. Our young people had nothing by which to identify with our history or heritage; our people were divided by factions of religion and skin color; our government was polarized and paralyzed by political party affiliation, able to agree upon nothing; the military had difficulty obtaining volunteers, and most of us simply changed TV channels in response to Red Cross pleas for blood donations.

"Your actions have changed all of that in a way that has occurred only twice before in the history of this nation— once in 1776 and again on December 7, 1941. The worst in the worst of Allah's children has brought out the best in the best of Allah's children and, for this, I thank you. Since your cowardly act, Muslim, Jew, Christian, black, white, yellow and brown have stood shoulder to shoulder for hours in the hot sun to donate blood for the injured.

"Our government has suddenly become totally united in its purpose. Our military is having difficulty handling the flood of volunteers from among our young people. Our flag makers report that there is no way humanly possible that they can keep up with the demand— shipments are sold out within minutes. You have accomplished a miracle that only God could have anticipated. And, it would seem, the hand of God was present even in the date that you selected for your attack, for you could not have chosen a date more in keeping with a reawakening of American pride and purpose.

"There is in America a nationwide system for seeking help in times of emergency. Every American knows that, when threatened, he can pick up any telephone and dial 911 and help is immediately on the way to assist and protect him. By selecting September, (our 9th month), 11, 2001 to exhibit your cowardice, you unwittingly placed a 911 call that has brought all of America together in a way that brings tears of joy and pride to my eyes.

"No longer is our battle cry, "Remember Pearl Harbor!" Thanks to you and your kind it will now and forevermore be, "Remember 911!" whenever the innocents of any nation find themselves threatened by cowards with guns. I do not, for a moment, deny that you hurt me. Far too many parents and children now go to bed wondering where their loved ones are. And, yes, I am momentarily reeling. But it is from the sudden realization that I share the planet with anyone capable of such an atrocity against the humanity of so many nations.

"In his inaugural address in Washington, DC on January 20, 1961, President John F. Kennedy said, "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." He was talking about the liberty of all men, of all faiths, of all nations. You need to understand that the truth of that statement is the very fabric of who and what I am.

"I wish neither to rule nor to inflict injury upon the innocents of any nation. I am the lion who sleeps with God's lambs to protect them from ravenous wolves that would devour them. Your 911 call has awakened the lion, and now I hunger for the flesh of wolves. In closing, let me state, Muhammad taught that Allah is a God of love— yet you have the unmitigated gall to bastardize Islam to suit your own personal, unholy agenda. Who now is the infidel?"

===========================================================





Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

—Lord Byron



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Answer to Bible trivia:

3 — grief, sorrow is correct.
See Ecclesiastes 1:18



Inspiration


Cherokee Legend

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him, and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone.

Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm.

The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared, and he removed his blindfold.

It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn.

Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there. "For we walk by faith, not by sight."




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