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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 10 — Issue 8 — April 13, 2010
Published every Tuesday


Hello, everyone, and welcome to this issue. Please read the top sponsor ad. One of my fellow publishers recently lost his entire subscriber list and needs to rebuild it. He publishes a worthwhile newsletter, so do him a favor and go and sign up for it. Of course, it's free!

And after you've done that good deed for the day, enjoy the rest of this issue. :-)


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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Signature


 

If my people, which are called by my name,
shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
my face, and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive
their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


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Eating everything you want is not that much fun.
When you live a life with no boundaries, there’s less joy.
If you can eat anything you want to,
what's the fun in eating anything you want to?

—Tom Hanks



A Healthier You


Drinking Cold Water After a Meal = Cancer!

For those who like to drink cold water, pay attention. It is nice to have a cold drink with or after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify any oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine and very soon turn into fats that can lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water with or after a meal.





It is by acts and not by ideas that people live.

—Anatole France



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Feature Article


It Doesn't Matter Who Wrote This ... It's the Flat-out Truth!
by Rush Limbaugh, as published March 11, 2002

I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving our country (the U.S.A.) are profound.

No one is really talking about it either, because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th.

Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by, because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country.

If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.

If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.

Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs.

If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry.

And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt.

Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough.

We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting.

In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of entitlement politics in this country.

It's just really sad.

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Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

At the time of the census which was conducted by Moses in the first chapter of Numbers, which of the twelve tribes of Israel was the largest?

a — Judah
b — Gad
c — Asher
d — Reuben

Scroll down for the answer.





Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

—Lord Byron





Found in my mother's school days autograph book:

"When the golden sun is sinking and
the road no more you trod,
may your name in gold be written
in the autograph book of God."

Jean Goldsberry, 1-14-35



Today's Chuckle


Hot Air

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman tending to the flowers in her garden. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an accountant," said the balloonist.

"I am," repleid the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea of what to make of your information, and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you have delayed my journey."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise of which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow it's now become my fault!"





"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen."

—Ralph Waldo Emerson



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

While reading a well known ministry's monthly magazine, I was appalled to discover that the man has a "pallet" in his mouth instead of a "palate"!

Truly, it is amazing to me how careless people are these days ... or is it just pure laziness? Or maybe they just don't "get it" that "spellcheckers" in general check only spelling and do not differentiate between homophones, which is what the words pallet/palate are.

Definition of a homophone: a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not, as "heir" and "air."

So, please, when you write, do not make this juvenile mistake. Your readers will thank you.

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Reminder: We have a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: adm@elfexpressionsezine.com





"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless,
and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."

—Samuel Johnson. (1709-1784)



Riddle for You


When you are full, you still want to eat it.
Even when it's completely dark, you
still can see it with your naked eyes.
If you happen to fall on a heap of
cotton, you will suffer from it.
And even if you are completely broke, you still have it.
What is this strange thing?

(Scroll down for the answer.)





"We can't solve problems by using the same kind
of thinking we used when we created them."

—Albert Einstein (1879-1955)



A Little Extra Humor


On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought her a bouquet. The candy shop owner's daughter gave her a ribboned box of candy. The liquor store owner's son set a big, heavy box on her desk. She lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little.

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"

"No," said the little boy ... it's a puppy!"


Guest Article



Online Reputation Management
by Sharon Housley

Google is sometimes thought to be the bane of the Internet, and it certainly can be a thorn in the side of search engine marketers. Many fail to look beyond the search of today, toward what the implications of indexing and storing information will have on future generations.

Forget the slogan "diamonds are forever" — "Google is forever" is more accurate in regard to the Internet. And if not Google, then some other search giant will be able to retrieve information from previous years within a few seconds. If something is online, it does not just "go away." Like it or not, the entire world is being indexed and categorized, and will be searchable for years to come.

Individuals today have a personal brand. Employers and colleagues will search out your name, so it is imperative that you keep this in mind when posting online. You must control your online reputation.

The Web is not always a friendly place, so what do you do if you are not using an alias and someone is posting derogatory information about you, your company, your products, or your brand?

Monitor Your Brand

The first step in monitoring your brand is to setup automated notifications within the various search engines, either via email or an RSS feed. This way, you will know when you are being discussed, either in favorable or unfavorable terms. For example, the "Google Alerts" feature is a free service that will send email notifications to you when specific words or phrases appear in new search results.

Simply use your name, company name, product name, or brand as the phrase being monitored. Ego Feeds work in a similar fashion, except the alerts appear in a custom created RSS feed that updates whenever new mentions occur. For more information about Ego Feeds, see a related article at http://www.feedforall.com/ego-searches.htm

Control Your Brand

The second step in protecting your brand is to take a pro-active approach to appearing in the top search results when your name is entered into a search engine. You can do this by offering interviews, reviews, SEO, and writing articles or posting blog entries. At the very least, make an effort to control the top search results for your name. This will ensure that when your personal brand is searched, those items will be listed in the top 10 search results.

Damage Control

If you find something that is damaging or harmful, do damage control. Control your responses, and behave in a professional manner so it is clear that you took the high road when the exchange is viewed by others at a later time.

Social Stuff

The final bit of advice is to simply keep personal things personal. While the social sites are great for maintaining friendships, they are not helpful for people who have an occasional lapse in judgment. Refrain from posting pictures that show anything that you would not want your mother or future grandchildren to see, or saying anything when you are mad or upset since we often say things "in the heat of battle" that we regret later.

The Internet is preserving and archiving personal history in a way that has never previously happened. Control your online reputation for posterity.

===========================================================

About the Author: Sharon Housley manages marketing for FeedForAll http://www.feedforall.com software for creating, editing, publishing RSS feeds and podcasts. In addition, Sharon manages marketing for RecordForAll audio recording and editing software.





Sorrow looks down.
Worry looks around.
Faith looks up.



Classifieds


Did you figure out what the strange thing is?
It's nothing!





Answer to Bible trivia:

a — Judah is correct.
Judah was the largest tribe with 74,600 members.



Inspiration


Fifteen Things God Won't Ask
by Unknown Author

God won't ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

God won't ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

God won't ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.

God won't ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.

God won't ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.

God won't ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.

God won't ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.

God won't ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.

God won't ask what your job title was, but will ask if you re-formed your job to the best of your ability.

God won't ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.

God won't ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.

God won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.

God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.

God won't ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.

God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn't.




Etcetera

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