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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 11 — Issue 26 — December 20, 2011
Published every other Tuesday


Happy reading to you all, as you enjoy this special Christmas issue. I pray that your holiday will be marked with special instances of love, joy, and peace and that you enjoy the merriest Christmas ever. See you next year!

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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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Signature


 

If my people, which are called by my name,
shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
my face, and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive
their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


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Contest


Results of last issue's contest, when the question was — Which animal has the largest brain in proportion to its size? The answer — The animal with the largest brain in proportion to its size is the ant. There was only one entry and no winner.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor slot gratis. So answer this:

Which U.S. state is nicknamed "Land of Enchantment"?

Send to cont@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your promo copy with your entry. I will no longer contact winners to request it. Several people have missed out having their copy published, because they did not include their ads with their entries!





To be appreciated, all you have to do is appreciate more.
Be grateful for another day. Be grateful for those who
are in your life and trying to guide and support you.



A Healthier You


For a ho-ho holiday, first fill up on food that is good for you (and you know what that is) before stuffing yourself with gastronomic goodies that are gooey, grand, and not good for you (and you know what that is, too!). This way you can have a relatively healthy pigging out time without paying the piper too high a price later!





While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six. He thought about it for some time, then said "Just cut it into four pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."

They walk among us!



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Feature Article


Here is a Christmas story that I have never seen before!

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid.

I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted.

"Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad! Now, put on your coat, and let's go." "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.

That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping.

For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching tha ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker.

He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's second grade class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all us kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma.

Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally, it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering beside my Grandma in Bobby Decker's bushes.

That night I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were—ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends who care ...

And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

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As Featured On EzineArticles



 

Test Your Bible Knowledge

Question — Identify the book from which this passage is taken: "For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother."

a — Barnabas
b — Timothy
c — Titus
d — Philemon

Scroll down for the answer.





No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.

—Thomas Jefferson



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There are more chickens than people in the world.



Today's Chuckle


Some of the Funniest Things You'll Ever Hear

Quotes from real accident reports:

"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."

Quotes from actual court transcripts:

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"

Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

And fresh from the medical community patient charts:

"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

"Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."





The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

—Thomas Jefferson



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

I wondered where this word came from when I read that "The CFR disses Ron Paul." So I looked it up, and it seems that, just as I thought, it is slang and started around 1980 as part of black rap/hip-hop, and it emanated from shortening the word "disrespect" or "dismiss." In other words, its use grew out of people being too lazy to complete their own words!

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The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.





Why does everyone always wish to "pass the time"? We've only got so much of it!



Guest Article



How to Create a Winter Solstice to Remember
by Carol McClelland

This week, as we approach the Winter Solstice and pass through it, is the darkest week of the year. Due to the sun's path, the days are as short as they will be all year and they nights are as long as they will be.

Many people bemoan the darkness. It affects them in ways that make them feel depressed, uncomfortable, and uneasy.

To me the darkness is rich with promise, hope, and potential. I love this time of year. I know the magic that can happen during this auspicious time.

The darkness is the path to the light. Although we can't discern it, the light is beginning to increase incrementally each day from that day forward. The solstice itself is the moment of conception for the new year of light.

This cycle of light exists. It's not something to complain about. We can't change it. Nor is it something we should change. Instead, the Solstice is something to honor and hold sacred.

Most of us, in our glittery, fast-paced world, don't know what to do with ourselves during this time of darkness that will naturally draw us inward if we let it. Instead..

We complain about the darkness.

We distract ourselves with busyness.

We overwhelm ourselves with to do lists.

We do whatever we can to keep from feeling the depths of our own being, our triumphs, and our foibles.

Our attempts to avoid our soul's voice at this time of year doesn't help us in the end. Without slowing down and listening, we are likely to miss the pure magic of the darkness that has the potential to transform our lives:

• The moments of pure insight when we discover a new way to think about and approach our life situation.

• The moments of discovery when we identify a new goal for the coming year.

• The moments of pure gratitude when we realize how far we've come in the last year.

These moments are the very answers we crave and search for most of the year. Give yourself the gift of magic by taking some time for yourself during the next two weeks.

Eight Steps to Create Your Own Winter Solstice Retreat

1 — Set aside some time for yourself between now and January 1st. You might want to schedule two hours, a morning, afternoon or evening, or a full day. If you have a tight schedule, consider setting aside a period of time for a series of days for your retreat.

2 — Create a safe space that will comfort and support you during your journey of reflection.

3 — Choose the ambiance of your retreat. Decide what suits you best. Perhaps you are drawn to silence. You might want a soothing music. Or you might crave the energy and power of drumming. A combination of pieces may work as your move through the process.

4 — Light a candle with the intention that the retreat will illuminate your future.

5 — Let your mind wander through the months of the year. Make note of the ups and downs throughout the year. Record your memories in your journal.

6 — Take some time to feel your gratitude for the high points you experienced and for what you gained from the low points in your year.

7 — Look forward to next year. What are your hopes, dreams, and intentions? How do you want to feel in the new year? If you run into mental roadblocks or emotional fears, acknowledge them, jot them down, but don't let them keep you from developing your vision for the new year.

8 — Synthesize what you've discovered. Review your journal entries from your Winter Solstice retreat. What excites you? What intrigues you? What gives you hope? While everything is fresh in your mind, draft a list of three to five actions you'll take next year to fulfill your vision.

As you think about whether to treat yourself to a Winter Solstice Retreat, don't worry about how you are going to answer the last few points. Each step in the process will open up new ideas and possibilities that you can't see right now.

It's the very act of trusting and stepping into the darkness of not knowing that allows new insights and ideas to come to you.

©2006, Transition Dynamics Enterprises, Inc.

===========================================================

Carol McClelland, PhD, author of "The Seasons of Change" and "Your Dream Career For Dummies," is a transition expert. She’s helped thousands of people get back on their feet after their lives have been turned upside down by natural disasters and personal losses, such as grief, illness, job change, relocation, and divorce. To receive your own copy of her Seasons of Change Workbook visit: http://www.transitiondynamics.com/seasons





I'm not going to miss out on something great, just because it's hard!





Answer to Bible trivia:

d — Philemon
See Philemon 1:7



Inspiration


A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room, and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts ...
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right.

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam,'
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile."

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue ... an American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled,
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Please, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon, and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.

Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed.

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq
DSN: 302-362-6828




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