'elf Express Extra
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“Get hold of your ‘elf!”
Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.
The publisher’s philosophy is that most learn faster by taking small bites, rather than large gulps. Small bites are chewed more thoroughly, swallowed, and digested more readily. Keeping that in mind, many features will be solo items. That way, you will not be bombarded or overwhelmed.
Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 13X — June 27, 2002
Regular issue published every Tuesday evening
Hi, all—and welcome to all our new subscribers! And to all of you new ones, I'd like to point out that this is an extra issue (which contains a lot more ads than the regular one, which goes out every Tuesday).
Can you believe that this year is half over? Seems like only yesterday when Y2K was all over the place. I've said it before, and I'll say it again—the way time passes so quickly, it wouldn't surprise me to find out that the good Lord is playing a huge joke on us all (He does have a sense of humor, you know!). :-D
If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!
If you've missed any issues, you still can see them.
Just go to: http://elfexpressionsezine.com
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I work hard—because millions on welfare depend on me!
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CONTENTS:
Sponsor Ad
Guest Article
Today’s Chuckle
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera
PSORIASIS
The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results HE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have.
(The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)
"The following are testimonials from individuals stating what results THEY have experienced. We are not making any medical claims & we are not saying that the following products discussed will cure the problems you have."
On January 21st, I began using the Immunity Plus on my scalp to see if it would help with my psoriasis. I have had psoriasis for the last ten years. Immunity Plus costs less than the prescription medication I have been using and has no side effects. It works within twelve hours of the application. The prescription medication takes at least a week to work, and I often questioned whether it actually did anything or not.
My scalp today is almost completely clear. The only reason it is not 100% clear is because the Immunity Plus has to be applied directly to the affected area. When you have as much hair as I do, sometimes that’s hard to do. All I do is saturate a Q-tip and apply to my scalp. I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT A RELIEF IT IS TO NOT HAVE MY SCALP ITCHING CONSTANTLY, TO NOT HAVE SORES ALL OVER MY SCALP, AND TO NOT HAVE SCABS ALL OVER MY SCALP!!!!
I am hoping that with using the Immunity Plus daily, as recommended, that the psoriasis never returns. But even if it does break out again, at least now I have something that will get rid of it quickly—Immunity Plus!
—Dennis Toland, Owensboro KY
If you would like to see what has worked miracles in Dennis' life, go to:
http://goodbody.healingamerica.com
The only company in the world with scalar enhanced products!
If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website:
Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation.
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GUEST ARTICLE
PRIORITIES
by Dave Balch, "The Stay-at-Home CEO"(tm)
Unfortunately, most of us need a little reminder every now and
then about what is really important. Something will happen in
our lives and we just sort of sit up, slap our foreheads
stupidly, and say "DUH! Of course! I knew that, but I forgot
that I knew that!"
The trouble is that we never know when that's going to happen
and, when it does, it may be too late. If you lose a loved one
in a tragic accident, how will you be able to say those things to
them that you meant to say but never did?
My guess is that you probably don't have to think very hard to
figure out your top priorities in life. Are you taking the time,
however short, to think about it? And are you acting
accordingly, spending your time and financial resources where it
matters the most?
I just got a reminder of my own—my bride of 19 years was
diagnosed with breast cancer. After we got the news I felt two
profound emotions: fear and gratitude. The fear, of course, was
about what the future held. The gratitude was for all the time
we have been able to spend together by working at home for over
twenty years.
After her first surgery we learned that it had spread. When the
situation is dire, it's easy to drop the things that used to be
soooooooo important and focus on the things that really are.
I was in the parking lot of a local market and I saw a man and
woman arguing about something. I thought about how their anger
was probably over something that, in reality, just doesn't matter
a hoot. Someday they, too, may get a sudden reminder and they
will hopefully realize how unimportant and insignificant those
types of arguments usually are.
In going back over this article, it reads sort of negative,
doesn't it? (SORT OF???) I don't mean to put you on a downer, I
just want to make sure that you keep balance and perspective in
your life. I want my reminder to serve as your reminder. It's
amazing how quickly "important" things can become unimportant.
It's easy to work a lot when you own a small business (I'll bet
you didn't know that.), which makes it hard to achieve that
balance and perspective without some conscious effort. Are your
priorities in order? Don't wait for that giant reminder to come
and slap you in the face. The next time you get angry with a
loved one, ask yourself if it really matters that much.
One of my favorite movie quotes is from "Mr. Mom," one of
Michael Keaton's first movies. In it, he loses his corporate
job, can't find another, and his wife (played by Terri Garr) ends
up going back to work for an advertising firm, leaving him at home
to take care of the kids. She ends up working too much, so he
says these eight words to her.
Now I'm saying them to you:
"It's easy to forget what's important. So don't."
=============================================
"Make More Money and Have More Fun" with your small
business! Dave will show you how with his FREE newsletter,
"Big Bucks in a Bathrobe" sent by e-mail. Visit
http://www.TheStayAtHomeCEO.com to sign-up, for information
on speaking services, or for copies of past articles and
newsletters. Comments and/or questions are always welcome
at 1-800-366-2347 or Dave@DaveBalch.com. ©2002, Dave Balch. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Some people are alive only
because it's illegal to kill them!
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A BIBLE RIDDLE
What book in the Old Testament and what book in the New Testament mention the word "sun" the most?
ANSWER: The Book of Ecclesiastes has the word "sun"
over 30 times. The Book of Revelation has the word "sun" over 11 times.
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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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TODAY'S CHUCKLE
TECHNOLOGY FOR COUNTRY FOLK
LOG ON:
Makin' a wood stove hot
LOG OFF:
Too much wood on the far
MONITOR:
Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
DOWN LOAD:
Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ:
When yer not keerful gitten the farwood
FLOPPY DISC:
Whatcha git from tryin' to tote too much farwood
RAM:
That thar thang what splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE:
Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS:
Whut to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN:
Whut to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE:
Whut them dang flys do
CHIP:
Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP:
Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM:
Whatcha done to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX:
Ole Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP:
Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD:
Whar you hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE:
Them dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE:
What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD:
That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
MAINFRAME:
Holds up the barn roof
PORT:
Fancy flatlander wine
ENTER:
Notherner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
CLICK:
Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
DOUBLE CLICK:
When you cock the double barrel
REBOOT:
Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse
Quoting one is plagiarism—quoting many is research.
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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
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INTERNET HINTS & TIPS
POPULAR SCROLLER
Here's a cool java applet that you may want
to put on your website. It's a small text scroller that features waving text with adjustable colors and fonts!
Note: Your browser must be Java enabled to
properly view this page.
http://www.resource-a-day.net/resources/applet8/
Wait for the page to fully load to be able to view
the applet.
To err is human—to really
foul things up requires a computer.
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Don't take life too seriously—
you won't get out alive.
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GUEST ARTICLE
LET GO OF THE PAST
by John Colanzi
Have you ever walked by a low fence and wondered why
the dog inside will run to it, but won't jump over, no
matter how many times he runs to it barking and
growling?
The odds are the dog was placed inside the fence as a
puppy. He grows up seeing that fence as being higher
than it is.
He learned as a puppy that no matter how many times he
tries to clear it, it's just too high.
Over time he gradually tries less often, until
eventually he quits trying. He just knows he'll never
clear that fence.
The same thing happens to us over the years. We try
to reach a goal and fail.
We muster up the courage to try again and fall just
short of the mark. Gradually that fence becomes higher
in our minds, than it really is.
It's a gradual insidious process and we seldom notice
it's happening. Over time that fence becomes more
imposing.
Our efforts become a little less enthusiastic. We start
building fences in our mind and like that little puppy
we begin to break.
We begin a new goal with so many doubts. We just know
we won't reach it, and so we don't.
We start thinking to ourselves, I knew I couldn't do
it.
Our doubts become a self fulfilling prophecy.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Our failures aren't us. Our limitations are nothing
more than fences we've built in our minds.
The cycle can be broken, if we could learn to stop
thinking about our past failures and concentrate on the
here and now.
There's a story about two monks walking in the woods.
As they approach a small body of water, they notice a
young woman afraid to cross the water.
The older monk puts her on his shoulders and carries
her across.
When they reach the other side he sets her down and
continues on his way.
A little further along on their journey he turns to his
younger companion and asks what's bothering him.
The young monk says, "You've broken your vows by
touching that young woman."
The other monk replies,"Yes, but I let her go when I
was finished helping her, you're still carrying her
around."
Are you like the young monk, carrying around your
mistakes of the past, or have you learned how to let
go and move on.
Stop mistaking your past limitations for who you are.
Let go and move on.
Begin every task as if it were impossible to fail.
You can, if you think you can.
****************************************
©2002 John Colanzi.
John publishes the "Street Smart Marketing" newsletter.
To subscribe streetsmart@rapidreply.net
Don't forget to get your free email course.
"Five Days
To Launching A Successful MLM Business."
mlms@makenetmoney.com
****************************************
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INSPIRATION
My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct
answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us
as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." She said, "No, many people
are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first
attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her,
"Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes."
She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is
not correct because there are many people who are blind."
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,
Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was,
"No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child."
Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt . . .
everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that
especially, because it was only the second time I'd seen him cry.
My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say
our final good-bye to Grandpa. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?"
I was shocked that she should ask me this now.
I'd always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the
confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you it was wrong, and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."
I asked, "Is it because it holds up your head?" She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."
Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what you said . . . people will forget what you did . . . but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.
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ETCETERA
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