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“Get hold of your ‘elf!”
Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.
The publisher’s philosophy is that most learn faster by taking small bites, rather than large gulps. Small bites are chewed more thoroughly, swallowed, and digested more readily. Keeping that in mind, many features will be solo items. That way, you will not be bombarded or overwhelmed.
Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 14X - July 4, 2002
Regular issue published every Tuesday evening
Well, folks, it's happened again. Someone has unsubscribed because I have exercised the freedom of speech (press?) granted to me by our U.S. Constitution. Tuesday's unflattering report on the ACLU is what did it. At least I know people are actually reading what I publish!
Hope all of you patriots out there enjoy the day with a good ol' flag-waving, firecracking Fourth!
If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!
If you've missed any issues, you still can see them.
Just go to: http://elfexpressionsezine.com
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Happy Independence Day, USA!
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CONTENTS:
Sponsor Ad
Guest Article
Today’s Chuckle
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera
IT'S THE BEST MY BODY HAS FELT
The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results HE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have.
(The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)
In August of 1993 I received an electrical shock of 460 volts to my body. It messed up several parts of my internal organs, one being my pancreas. I developed a rash or fungus along the lines of Candida and an intolerance to almost any sweets. I took one prescription from my doctor, but it did not help one iota.
I continued trying other natural and health remedies, used various creams, lotions, and ointments, but I could never get it to go away completely. I had been in Healing America for 8-10 months when I started taking AGE-less and Ellagitannin. After about two months of daily consumption of these two products, I noticed the fungus was gone. How it happened or which one of these two products it was that cured it, I don’t really know. All I know is for about 8 years I had a rash or fungus, and now it is gone!
Also my digestive system was messed up from the shock. I started taking four or five MegaZymes daily, and I noticed a big improvement in my system in less than two weeks. When the new and improved [Scalar Enhanced] MegaZymes came out, I took one in the morning and one at night. This resulted in three to four bowel movements a day, so I cut back to one a day, and it’s the best my body has felt since the shock!
With a Great Relief, —Stephen Ray Williams, Tulsa Oklahoma
If you would like to see what has worked miracles in Stephen Ray's life, go to: http://goodbody.healingamerica.com The only company in the world with scalar enhanced products!
If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website:
Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation.
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GUEST ARTICLE
10 QUICK TIPS TO WRITING PROFITABLE ARTICLES
by Ken Hill
One of the best ways to promote your business for free is
to write articles for publication in ezines.
To help you get started, I've compiled a list of ten tips
that will not only help you successfully write your own
articles, but also help you get the most out of the
articles you do write.
To begin:
1——Put a lot of thought into the title of your article.
Writing a good title will grab your readers' attention
and encourage them to read through your article.
2—— Keep the introduction and conclusion of your article
short.
3——Write your article as a series of tips that center
around a specific subject. This is a very effective way to
present your information and hold your readers interest.
4——Use numbers to list the tips in your article. This
allows your readers to go quickly from one tip to the next,
and also keeps your article neatly organized and easy to
read.
5——Keep your tips brief and to the point.
6——Keep your article focused on one topic. If you have
several things you want to talk about then try writing
separate articles for each topic.
7——Write your article with a sincere desire to help your
reader. Don't write an article that is basically just a
sales letter for your company. Save your self promotion
for your resource box at the end of your article.
8——Do write a compelling ad for your business in your
resource box. Entice your reader to go to your site or
request more information from you.
9——Use your resource box to gain more subscribers to your
ezine. An article is a very effective way to showcase the
type of quality content your reader can expect as a
subscriber to your publication.
10——Offer a free marketing course in your resource box.
This will give you the opportunity to further increase your
sales by following up with people interested in your
information.
Once you start writing articles, you will find that your
articles can bring a lot of free promotion to your
business.
Write with your reader in mind and you will be on your way
to creating more profit for your business with every
article you write.
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Article ©2002 by writer Ken Hill. Discover how to
successfully promote your business online by writing
articles. Get your FREE 4 part "Beginner's Guide To
Profiting With Articles" course now at
yourfreecourse@zipresponse.com
A journey of a thousand miles . . . begins with a cash advance.
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A BIBLE RIDDLE
When the Lord God told Abram to go into a land that He would show him, God made him a 7-fold promise. How many of the seven can you list?
ANSWER: Find it in Genesis 12:2-3:
1 — I will make of thee a great nation.
2 — I will bless thee.
3 — I will make thy name great.
4 — Thou shalt be a blessing.
5 — I will bless them that bless thee.
6 — I will curse him that curseth thee.
7 — In thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
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"Everyday in everyway I am getting better,
better and better."
—Jose Silva
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TODAY'S CHUCKLE
Seventeen Things That Took Me a Long Time To Learn
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
9. Never lick a steak knife. (I don't know about you, but it would only take one time to learn this one. You'd have to be a special kind of stupid to do this more than once!)
10. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
11. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
12. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
13. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
14. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
16. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
17. Your friends love you anyway. —Source unknown
"Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure
without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with
money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure
footedness that comes with having proved you can
meet life." —Ann Landers
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INTERNET HINTS & TIPS
Avoid Losing Customers On Your Website!
Sometimes potential customers don't arrive because they type a URL incorrectly and see only a "404 - File Not Found Error." You
can get rid of that message and replace it with a script that you
can define yourself. Just go to: http://www.mawent.com/tech/tips/404.html where Michael Rhine explains how.
Edwin Hayward offers help on the same topic at
http://www.pr2.com/feature3.htm
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year, inherit a
fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime,
help somebody."
—Chinese proverb
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GUEST ARTICLE
The Happy Jar by David Leonhardt
I just delivered a free speech. I am a great believer in free speech, but an even greater believer in paid speech. However, there are good reasons why someone like me would deliver free speeches. For instance, to support a charity or a cause I believe in. Or if the audience is
full of people who hire speakers.
If you've ever spoken at a dinner or ran a workshop at a conference,
you'll wince when I mention the dreaded "token of appreciation"
presented to the speaker. In your head you think, "Oh no, not another
T-shirt." I have my share of T-shirts, golf shirts, letter openers,
books that do not interest me, sweets, ball caps, and pens. I don't
need any more.
Sigh. I suppose that's the price of free speech.
Which brings me to my recent free speech, at the end of which I braced
myself to face Dreaded Token. I was presented with a lovely gift bag
brimming with colorful paper -- the perfect camouflage to conceal
Dreaded Token until he was ready to pounce. Mercifully, Madam Group
President did not make me open the bag in front of everyone.
As I was preparing to leave, I sneaked a peak inside the bag. To my
surprise, there was a candy jar with dozens of tiny plastic smiley faces
glued to the lid. Around the lid were foam-rubber multi-colored letters
that read "Happy Guy". Wow! It was hand-made. Madam Group President
took the time to craft a personal gift. How thoughtful. Dreaded Token,
you have met your match. Meet Happy Jar.
If you have ever been a parent, valuing more the hand-made card your
little daughter scribbles for you than any present she could buy, you
know how I felt when I met Happy Jar. I can't wait for my daughter to
be old enough to draw so I can feel that way more often.
In life, little things really do count. You might be tempted to dismiss
them, but they are the seeds that grow up into the garden of your life.
Not all little things are good, but yours can be . . . if you are willing to
make a small effort. Madam Group President could have handed me a
T-shirt or a ball cap or leftover fruit cake from last Christmas. (Yes,
I was once presented with left-over fruitcake.) But she invested her
effort instead and I have something wonderful to write about today.
You can make someone's day just by making that same little effort. I
sent an encouraging e-mail to lift a friend's spirits today. It
worked. Those carefully chosen words brought her mood right back up.
I'm sure you can guess how great that made me feel, too.
When Carolyn Howard-Johnson, author of the epic This Is The Place raved
to me about the writing in my book, I felt on top of the world. (It's
not the huge $75 royalty checks every three months that inspire authors
to write.) She then raved to Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com and a
dozen other book review web sites. Do I have to tell you how her little
extra effort made me feel?
I know I am blessed to be surrounded by so many thoughtful people, but I
also know that we reap what we sow. What are you sowing? Are you
making the time to give a little extra to people around you? Are you
sowing seeds of happiness in your garden of life?
With the right seeds and a little extra effort, you may find more Happy
Jars in your life than Dreaded Tokens. And of course, let us not forget
the magic words to keep those Happy Jars coming: "Thank you Madam Group
President."
************************
David Leonhardt is The Happy Guy. He is a motivational speaker and
author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum
happiness. Buy the book at Amazon.com. or visit The Happy Guy at
http://www.TheHappyGuy.com.
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INSPIRATION
THE TABLECLOTH
The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.
They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls,
painting, etc., and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. The very next day a terrible tempest—a driving rainstorm—hit the area and lasted for two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart
sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.
On the way he noticed that a local business was having a
flea market type sale for charity, so he stopped in.
One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored,
crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors, and a cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.
By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running
from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry.
The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked, and
it covered up the entire problem area.
Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle.
Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor told her. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria!
The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he
had just gotten the tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. But she was captured, sent to prison, and never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth, but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was in Brooklyn only for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The
church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door, and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving. The man asked him where he'd gotten the tablecloth on the front wall, because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war, and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike. He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his
wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for
a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door, and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid
Who says God does not work in mysterious ways?
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ETCETERA
Contact publisher at:
elfbutter@cervo.net
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To use our editing/proofreading service, send a blank email to: editingservice@elfexpressionsezine.com
"DISCLAIMER: We disclaim any liability for the use of any contributed information contained herein. We also claim no responsibility for the legality or accuracy of advertisements or articles submitted and reprinted by permission. It is the contributor's and/or advertiser's responsibility to abide by all pertinent jurisdictional laws and regulations pertaining to that person's business."
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