"'elf Expressions Ezine"

'elf Expressions Ezine
Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"

Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

The publisher’s philosophy is that most learn faster by taking small bites, rather than large gulps. Small bites are chewed more thoroughly, swallowed, and digested more readily. Keeping that in mind, many features will be solo items. That way, you will not be bombarded or overwhelmed.

To subscribe, send blank email to:
subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe

Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 29 - October 15, 2002
Published every Tuesday

A couple of things. First, we have no one who submitted a personal bio for this issue's Subscriber in the Spotlight—now that's pretty pathetic with over 2,200 subscribers! C'mon, people, this is FREE publicity for you. Please include your URL and/or email—just don't make it into an ad, okay?

And the other thing. Again, just in case you missed the announcement a couple of issues ago, we now offer prioritized classified ads. A prioritized ad gets FIRST PUBLISHING PREFERENCE and goes right to the top of the queue. And if you don't think it's worth a dollar to get published soon, and on a regular basis, then so be it. And if you've recently submitted an ad, there are at least 100 ads ahead of you right now, as all classifieds—except prioritized—are published in the order received. So scroll to the end and hit the appropriate PayPal button now.

In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them. Just go to:
http://elfexpressionsezine.com

A conference is a gathering of important people
who singly can do nothing, but
together can decide that nothing can be done.
—Fred Allen

CONTENTS:
Special Offer for Readers
Ad Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
Feature Article
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English lesson
Marketing Mania
Internet Tips & Hints
Classifieds
Guest Article
Inspiration
Last But Not Least . . .
Etcetera

SPECIAL OFFER FOR READERS

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AD CONTEST

Results of last issue's ad contest: No one got it! We had Siamese, Persian, and even Maine Coon. The question was: What is the oldest sort of pure bred cat? The answer: The Abyssinian. Comes down from the sacred Egyptian cats. Abyssinians like to swim!

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor ad FREE! Here is the question:
Only one female canine character has ever appeared regularly in a nationally syndicated comic strip, I'm told. Can you name that dog? (Hint: She's from an "old" strip.)

Send to adcontest@elfexpressionsezine.com

FIBROSIS & NEUROMYOPATHY

The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results HE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have. (The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)
I would like to thank you for introducing me to Clark’s Colloidal Minerals. I suffered for years with fibrosis and neuromyopathy, severe back and leg pain, uncomfortable sitting walking, or lying down. Sleeping was hard to do. Waking up as tired as when I went to bed. I was taking 800 mg. of Ibuprofen 3 and 4 times a day. One month ago, I started taking the minerals, and I can truthfully say I no longer have back or leg pain. Also, my energy level is increased. I’m a customer for life.
—Dorothy Knight, L.P.N., Owensboro KY

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If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website: Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation. Very shortly then, you will be contacted one time to determine if you qualify for our program.

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
—Al Capp

SUBSCRIBER IN THE SPOTLIGHT

The first subscriber to submit his or her personal profile sharing with the rest of us all about who he/she is, background, family, location, interests, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc., will be spotlighted right here next issue—and yes, an email and/or URL may be included!

Send to readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com

Someone just missed this unique opportunity!

Another of Ben Franklin's prescriptions for moral perfection:
"Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes, or habitation."

FEATURE ARTICLE

SPECIAL ARTICLE AT READER'S SUGGESTION

One of my subscribers (thanks, Jerome!) read the following announcement that I'd made in a recent issue:
"Hi, especially to all Yahoo and Hotmail subscribers. Until now, there had been a problem displaying this ezine on those services, and I'd like to officially thank a very kind reader, Lise Galipeau, who graciously gave of her time and talents to solve this dilemma for me."
Jerome wrote: "Mary, there are many ezines that have Yahoo and/or Hotmail users like me. Could you do us all a great big favor and share Lise Galipeau's talents with other publishers that face the same problem.
It would be a grand gesture on your part and I'm sure all Yahoo-ers and Hotmail-ers will be hugely thankful to you AND Lise Galipeau too . . ."
So, to all my publisher-readers, please stand up and take notice. Lise Galipeau is more than willing and able to take up this cause and share her helpful talents with you also, to enable your HTML ezines to be transmitted to these two services with NO distortion. Make ALL of your subscribers happy campers!
Contact Lise at: melagali@hotmail.com

***********************************************************

Feel free to reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine: http://elfexpressionsezine.com
To subscribe, email subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe

A BIBLE RIDDLE

Moses knew God by what name?
ANSWER: I AM. Exodus 3:14: "And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you."

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The days of the digital watch are numbered.
—Tom Stoppard

TODAY'S CHUCKLE

WHO'S BEING PENALIZED?

IN PRISON . . . you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK . . . you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON . . . you get three meals a day.
AT WORK . . . you get a break for only one meal, and you pay for it.
IN PRISON . . . you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK . . . you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON . . . the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK . . . you must carry around a security card and open all the                       doors for yourself.
IN PRISON . . . you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK . . . you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON . . . you get your own toilet.
AT WORK . . . you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON . . . they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK . . . you can't even speak to your family.
IN PRISON . . . all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work                       required.
AT WORK . . . you get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then                       they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON . . . you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK . . . they are called managers.
***** So why is it again that we work? *****

Spotted this scribbled sign over the electric
hand dryer in a highway rest stop:
"For a message from our governor,
please press the button."

TODAY'S ENGLISH LESSON

Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue.

Let's learn the difference, once and for all, between "led" and "lead" (and "misled" and "mislead").
I believe the confusion stems from the fact that "lead" can be pronounced to rhyme with "deed" or "dead."
If you take the "lead" in something, you also can "mislead."
And, if you have "led" a group in the past, you may have "misled" them.
"Led" is the past tense of "lead," (as in "deed") NOT "lead" (as in "dead")! ["Lead" ("dead") does NOT have a past tense! It is a noun and refers to a metallic element.]
Same applies to "misled." "Mislead" does NOT rhyme with "dead" and is NOT the past tense of "lead" (as in "deed").

Any questions? (Hope I haven't misled you!)

Reminder: We offer a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: editingservice@elfexpressionsezine.com

MARKETING MANIA

HELLO, GUYS AND GALS . . .

Featuring Donna Sweat, weekly columnist, and publisher of Dee's Helpful Info. and A Real Home Business Newsletter.
As I sent my regular issue of Dee's Helpful Info. just a second ago, my thoughts turned to my anniversary . . . not my marriage anniversary, but the one for my ezine and Endless Mts Home Business. I thought you might like to know how, when and the what fors . . . bringing on the creation of my home business.
Actually, I am a normal mom with a normal family and pets. I did work full time at one time and am not either rich or dirt poor. I am average . . . period.
Actually, going to college nights inspired my home business, because I received a computer for Christmas from my husband, and thus my adventure began via the Internet.
After countless hours online . . . and it was a bit over the limit—say 18 hours per day!! I was obsessed, of course. Anyway, I came across newsletters and ezines, articles, names famous for online biz, and I was fascinated with all the affiliate programs.
I took it one step at a time, put it all together, and invented Dee's Helpful Info. with my first 10 subscribers being my ICQ friends. I named it after my online nickname of Dee, and since I wanted only helpful content, thus the helpful info.
And then I needed a website like everyone else, so the reality of Endless Mts Home Business verified there was no other by that name in Pennsylvania. I live in the Endless Mts of Pennsylvania, soooo . . . why not?
I am proud to announce I've survived 2 years of business October 18, 2002, which is Friday! It has not been an easy road, and I am not rich!! I am surviving—yes, you heard me right. Why am I telling you this? I think the biggest majority of those who come in search of a home based business never make it past a year, let alone 2 or more.
I'll give you some quick pointers as to why, and if you need more info, I am always willing to help anyone wanting the particulars—it is my nature.
1—Do not think you will become rich quick . . . it just doesn't happen.
2—Be prepared for long hours and commitment!! Stay focused!
3—There will be many days when you get up and will want to QUIT! Don't . . . keep                  pounding along.
4—Family always comes first . . . never the other way around.
5—Remember your real world . . . the one with air, trees and flowers, and live people.
6—The Internet has a lot to offer—it is a big library . . . learn from it and use it.
7—Need more??? Email me, I'll be glad to answer your questions and help you avoid                 some mistakes I made.

Regards,
Donna

©2002 Donna Sweat — mailto:donna@sosbbs.com
Publisher — Dee's Helpful Info. — mailto:dsweat-subscribe@topica.com
Endless Mts. Home Business — http://www.homebizandmore.biz

Hold a true friend with both your hands.
—Nigerian proverb

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GUEST ARTICLE

"5 COMMON MISTAKES NEW E-ZINE PUBLISHERS MAKE"
by Alexandria K. Brown, "The E-zine Queen"

Everyone's finally catching onto the idea that publishing an e-mail newsletter (or "e-zine") is a super way to market their businesses. But unfortunately I still see many people making the same mistakes that could lead to losing subscribers, and worse.
To help YOU get off on the right foot, I'm listing the five most common mistakes I see new publishers make. Watch your step!
MISTAKE 1: Sending out their e-zines from their own everyday e-mail programs.
Sure, it seems easy at first, you just create a "group" in your e-mail program and start from there. But once you get over 50 subscribers, you're going to have nothing but problems. Not only will you have to manually handle all sign-ups and removals, but you may get into trouble. Most Internet service providers (ISPs) won't let you send an e-mail to more than 30 people at once. They set limits like this to help prevent spammers from using their networks.
Also, your entire list resides on your computer, so you'll have to be extra meticulous about making backups of your list—imagine instantly losing a list of hundreds or thousands of subscribers that took months to build!
Save yourself some time and headaches NOW, and sign up for a reliable online list service or purchase list management software.
MISTAKE 2. Signing up people without their permission.
Even if you're my best friend, I'll honestly be perturbed if you launch your e-zine and automatically sign me up for it. That's a big no-no on the Net, and it can get you in hot water.
If you're wondering how to get your list started, send out a one-time *invitation* to everyone you know, along with a *sample issue* of your e-zine and clear instructions on how to subscribe. That way they can *see* how great your e-zine is, and they'll realize they should definitely sign up.
MISTAKE 3. Not giving their readers useful content.
Some publishers only use their e-zines to talk about how great they are. "We won this award and hired this new person and landed this new client. blah blah blah." This gets boring and turns off readers.
Instead, focus on providing information that will be *useful and educational* to your readers. This will make them love you! (Besides, there's plenty of room to tastefully plug yourself at the end of each issue.) Aim for a ration of about 75% helpful information and 25% self promotion.
MISTAKE 4. Not promoting their own businesses.
Here's just the opposite problem: Many people serve up great content to their readers, but don't take the opportunity to toot their own horns!
While your articles and features will be softly selling your expertise, there are several other ways to reinforce the fact that *you* are whom your readers should contact when they need the services you provide. After the article, give your full contact information, and a few sentences about WHAT you can do for your readers. End it with a call to action—tell them to call for a free consultation, visit your website to read clients testimonials, or write you for a free quote.
MISTAKE 5. Not publishing on a regular basis.
Publishing regularly suggests to your readers that you're organized and can meet deadlines and commitments. But I still see many e-zines published on a random schedule—one colleague of mine even brags at the top of each issue that she basically sends out her e-zine "whenever she feels like it." By doing this, she appears flaky and unprofessional.
Your e-zine should be a steady "pulse" of your business, reminding your readers about your fabulous products and services on a regular basis. ©2002, Alexandria K. Brown
****************************************

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Marketing writer and consultant Alexandria K. Brown, "The E-zine Queen," is author of the award-winning manual, "Boost Business With Your Own E-zine." To learn more about this step-by-step Guide, and to sign up for FREE biweekly how-to articles, visit http://www.boostbizezine.com/

INSPIRATION

THANK YOU, GOD!

Thank You, God, for being my Comforter, when my soul was weak and the tears wouldn't stop, when my heart was aching with pain and I was searching for refuge, when my spirit was broken beyond repair, and I felt lost and hopeless. Thank You for joy.
Thank You, God, for being my Teacher when I was ignorant to the lessons of life and rebuked wisdom, when I was rebellious against your principles and rejected morality, when I was hindered by obstacles and blinded by self-doubt. Thank You for knowledge.
Thank You, God, for being my Spiritual Guide, when I chose the wrong path to tread and lost sight of my purpose, when I didn't know the power of faith, prayer, and forgiveness, when I didn't know how to surrender all my anger, fears, and temptations. Thank You for your Guidance.
Thank You, God, for being my Counselor, when I didn't know how to acknowledge nor express my feelings, when I chose sin over self-love. Thank You for revelations, awakenings, and resolutions.
Thank You, God, for being Love and showering your blessings upon my growing heart. Thank You for showing me how to love, give love, and be loved. You are truly my Inspiration—the Core of my heart and spirit. Thank You for inner peace.
Now, I thank you, God, for being Divine, for accompanying me through my journey of life, through the rumbling tides and strong waves. Thank You for bringing me to shore. You are truly my Captain, So in the name of Love, Thank You, God.

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ETCETERA

Contact publisher at:
elfbutter@erinet.com

To advertise, email ads to: advertising@elfexpressionsezine.com
All classified ads are free for right now and are for subscribers only.
Classifieds: 7-lines, 65-characters per line (including URL or email address)
Top Sponsor Ads: 20 lines
SOLO ads: 50 lines.
To pay for an ad, click one of the buttons below:
SOLO ads are $25 each.

Quantity

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Top Sponsor Ads are $10.00 per issue.

Quantity

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Prioritized Classified Ads are $1.00 per issue.

Quantity

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Or send money order or cashier's check to PO Box 854, Franklin OH 45005.

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"DISCLAIMER: We disclaim any liability for the use of any contributed information contained herein. We also claim no responsibility for the legality or accuracy of advertisements or articles submitted and reprinted by permission. It is the contributor's and/or advertiser's responsibility to abide by all pertinent jurisdictional laws and regulations pertaining to that person's business."

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