'elf Express Extra

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

The publisher’s philosophy is that most learn faster by taking small bites, rather than large gulps. Small bites are chewed more thoroughly, swallowed, and digested more readily. Keeping that in mind, many features will be solo items. That way, you will not be bombarded or overwhelmed.



Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 29X - October 17, 2002
Regular issue published every Tuesday


Special greetings to all new subscribers with a caveat: This is an Extra issue of 'elf Expressions. The regular Tuesday issue does not contain nearly as many classified ads! I publish the extra issues merely to accommodate all the many classifieds coming in every day. There are a couple of hundred in the queue right now.

You can, however, jump your classified right to the top of the heap—for a dollar. Yup, a buck gets your ad prioritized, and you won't need to wait for weeks to get it published. To get your prioritized ad, scroll to the end of this issue and click on the appropriate PayPal button. To get there from here, click on http://paypal.com and use my special email address: doriself@yahoo.com. (Don't forget to come right back!)

Finally, I still have 43 of the laser pointers left. Maybe your child needs a teacher gift for the holidays, and these are ideal. Just go to http://paypal.com and use my special email address, doriself@yahoo.com. Only $6.00 (shipping included for US residents, outside US add $3.00). If you missed the original announcement and info, just shoot me an email at elfbutter@cervo.net, and I'll give you the particulars.


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001


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A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.



CONTENTS:

Sponsor Ad
Guest Article
Today’s Chuckle
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE


As promised, I've temporarily suspended publishing personal testimonies in this slot to include a few excerpts from the amazing book that started it all, "Lessons From the Miracle Doctors," by Jon Barron.

You would think that supplementation would be pretty easy. Figure out just where peole are likely to be deficient; then make a pill that supplements for those suspected deficiencies—sort of a one-a-day multiple-vitamind kind of thing. Determining the best supplement to take would then be a simple job of reading the label.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. There are actually several problems.

1—Natural and synthetic vitamins are not necessarily the ame thing.

2—In nature, nutrients do not exist in isolation; they exist in nutrient complexes. As it turns out, our bodies require the complexes, not the isolates.

What You Actually Get in the Store

Many commercial grade vitamin and mineral concentrates are synthesized by the large pharmaceutical and chemical companies from the same starting material that they make their drugs from (coal tar, wood pulp, petroleum products, animal byproducts, waste and fecal matter, ground rocks, stones, shells, and metal.)

—Most Vitamin B-12 (cobalamine) is made from activated sewage sludge—and then stabilized with cyanide (thus becoming cyanocobalamine)

—Most Vitamin D is made from irradiated oil.

—The bulk of all Vitamin E is produced in the labs at Kodak.

—Niacinamide is made by boiling sulfur in the presence of asbestos.

—Supplemental calcium, for the most part, is either mined from the earth, ground from old bones, or made by grinding up oyster shells.

Another surprise is that the term organic, when applied to supplements, does not mean the same thing as it does with food. For supplements, all the word organic means is that the molecule contains at least one carbon atom (as in organic chemistry). In other words, a supplement can be labeled 100% organic and not be natural at all.

If you would like to get a free download of Jon Barron's book, "Lessons from the Miracle Doctors," go to:

http://goodbody.healingamerica.com
The only company in the world with scalar enhanced products!

If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website: Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation. Very shortly then, you will be contacted to determine if you qualify for our program.



GUEST ARTICLE


DO YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM?
by Theresa Cahill

This morning talking with a fellow publisher, the topic of antivirus programs came up. Seems someone somewhere is always talking about them.

Why? Because without a good system in place not only do you run the risk of a potential, complete computer shutdown, but you put your friends and associates at risk each time you contact them.

Let's face it, the world is full of brilliant people who's only apparent source of satisfaction is to make the rest of us using the internet completely miserable.

Unfortunately, they do a good job of it. However, you can, and must, do everything to protect yourself and others.

A quick little story might help illustrate my point . . .

My son's school is a public, charter affair. He "home schools," and the curriculum is on the internet. There are numerous families in Odyssey Charter, each emailing the teacher, and sometimes each other, with important information.

Last year, one of the mothers called me. She was desperate. Her child could not access the computer. She recalled getting a suspect email a few months earlier (few MONTHS?!) and since then nothing had been working right for them. Now it was a total disaster, the computer refusing to do anything.

After spending several hours a day at their house for several days, I did locate the problem—yes, a virus. A truly sneaky one at that.

Unfortunately, there was no saving anything nor any way to eliminate this threat. Yes, her hard drive had to be completely wiped. They lost everything—no backups, of course—but that's another story.

The thing is this tragedy could have been avoided. Why DID it happen in the first place?

The reason? Oh, they had an antivirus program, Norton, a good one, but guess what . . .? They never updated it! However, the truly sad (and comical!) part of all of this was Norton had expired THREE YEARS earlier!!

True! They thought once it was on the computer, it magically did everything itself, with no assistance from them. They were "protected!" Nary one live update, nor renewal of their subscription!

Norton AntiVirus does have an automatic Live Update feature. However, you must TELL IT to update by opening your software and setting the settings TO update (and more!).

Symantec, producers of Norton products, also have another program for those truly at risk. It's called the Intelligent Updater, and is located in their download area.

The Live Update virus definitions are released every Wednesday, more often if they deem it necessary. Manually downloading and installing (daily) through the Intelligent Updater link, your machine is always current—right then and there!

If you receive tons of email, and send lots of email in return, you'd do well to take a trip to Symantec's website each day and keep your own antivirus program current, manually.

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/defs.download.html

Remember, those out there causing the grief are smart, if misguided. You must be smarter! Make sure you know your own antivirus program inside and out—and keep it current!

To your success!

©2002: Theresa Cahill

=============================================

About the Author: Theresa Cahill has just released her new ebook, STEP-BY-STEP: A guide to basic marketing tools. Learn to set up and use several basic, yet effective, marketing resources by the end of the book! http://www.step-by-step-guide.com

Her other websites include:
TheWizWorld MRC Newsletter
http://www.thewizworld.com
My Wizard Ads
http://www.mywizardads.com




Here's yet another of Ben Franklin's prescriptions for moral perfection:

"Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles or at accidents common or unavoidable."



 

A BIBLE RIDDLE

QUESTION:

Using ONLY the Book of John, can you find 6 of the "7" that bear witness to, or testify to, the divinity of Jesus Christ?

ANSWER:

1. John the Baptist—John 1:34
2. The works of Christ—John 5:36
3. The Father—John 5:37 or 8:18
4. The Old Testament—John 5:39
5. Jesus Himself—John 8:14, 18
6. The Holy Spirit—John 15:26
7. We, the believers—John 15:27





I'll lean on you and you lean on me,
and we'll be okay.

—Dave Matthews




TODAY'S CHUCKLE


YOU MAY BE FROM OHIO (PRONOUNCED O-HI-UH) IF:

You think all pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

You live fewer than 30 miles from some college or university.

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means south."

You know if other Ohioians are from southern or Northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.

You can pronounce words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta, and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.

"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point.

You measure distance in minutes.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You know what "pop" is.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter, because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You actually get these jokes, then forward 'em to your OHIO (O-hi-uh) friends.

The above was emailed me by Kathy Kempton
kkempton@helmsbriscoe.com



If Walmart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?





When God takes something from your grasp,
He's not punishing you,
but merely emptying your hand to receive something better.



INTERNET HINTS & TIPS


CALENDAR: CURRENT DAY IS HIGHLIGHTED

This is a very interesting and fascinating JavaScript calendar. It shows you the current month's calendar, and the current day is highlighted! A very neat effect—some great JavaScripting!

http://www.resource-a-day.net/resources/calendar/
AOL users click here





Living on Earth is expensive—but it does include
a free trip around the sun every year.





Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.



GUEST ARTICLE



TOP 7 ESSENTIAL "HOT-SELLING POINTS" TO
IMPLEMENT BEFORE WRITING CHAPTER ONE
by Judy Cullins

Every part of your book can be a sales tool. When you include the below tips, you'll sell more books than you ever dreamed of.

1—Write for your one preferred audience. Not everyone wants your book. Find out what audience wants/needs your book? What problems does your book solve for them? Create an audience profile and keep your audience's picture in front of you as you write. Ask yourself, is my topic narrow enough? The Chicken Soup For The Teenager, For The Prisoner, and other specific groups sold far more copies than the original Chicken Soup.

2—Write a sizzling book title and front cover. You have 4 seconds to hook your potential buyer. The cover itself sells more books than any other part. Bookstore buyers buy mainly by cover designs.Your title must compel your audience to buy. If you want an agent or publisher your title and subtitle are vital.

3—Write a thirty-second "tell and sell." You only have a few seconds to impress the media, the agent, the bookseller, the individual buyer. Include your title, a few benefits, and the audience. Include a few sound bites that grab attention. You may also want to compare your book to a successful one. Passion at Any Age: Renew, Recharge and Reinvent Your Life is the Artist's Way for seniors.

4—Write your back cover before you write your book. This is the second most important sales tool your book has to offer. Here you put compelling ad copy, benefits, testimonials, and a small blurb about you, the author. If your potential buyer likes it, they will buy on the spot. If they want more information, they will look inside at the introduction and table of contents.

5—Write your book introduction. Include the problem your audience has, why you wrote the book, and its purpose. In a few paragraphs include more specific benefits, and how you will present it (format). Keep it under a page.

6—Create a table of contents. Each chapter should have a name, preferably a catchy one. If your reader can't understand the chapter title, then annotate it. Add some benefits or a sub title. In Passion at Any Age, the author put the word "passion" in each title. Which attracts you? "Open Your Mind?" or "Attracting Passion?"

7—Reach out to opinion molders. After an initial contact of asking for feedback, resend them the same chapter and the table of contents of your book. Ask for a testimonial then. These influential contacts' testimonials will make your back cover an important sales tool.

Designing every part of your book to be a sales tool and a beacon to writing a focused, compelling, understandable, and enjoyable book is a must, before you write a single word.

©2001, Judy Cullins, M.A.
Judy@bookcoaching.com

************************

Judy Cullins: author, publisher, book coach
Excerpted from: "Write Your eBook or Other Short Book-Fast!"
Helps writers manifest their book dreams.
http://www.bookcoaching.com/products.shtml
Send an email to subscribe@bookcoaching.com
The Book Coach Says . . . includes 2 free eReports



INSPIRATION


THE THREE TREES

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving, and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally, the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill, and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time, and people will always remember me.

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy, because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down, his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree. I'll take this one," and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenter's, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth, and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose, and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said "Peace be still," and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what it wanted, just not in the way it had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.




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