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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.


To subscribe, send blank email to:
subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe


Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 32 - November 5, 2002
Published every Tuesday


Hi, everyone . . . now, would you believe that, after all that gorgeous October weather, November is being contrary and spewing rain, rain, rain all over the place . . . oh well, that's Ohio for you!

Now I'd like to take this opportunity to direct your attention to our guest article today. Steve O'Connor has come up with an absolutely brilliant tool for those of us who use ezine advertising on a regular basis. It takes the guesswork out of which ezines to use! Saves not only a whole lot of time, but M-O-N-E-Y!!! Don't miss it!



In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001


Smile!

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them. Just go to:

http://elfexpressionsezine.com


Signature



 

"The most important single ingredient
in the formula of success is knowing
how to get along with people."

—Theodore Roosevelt



CONTENTS:

Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
Feature Article
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English lesson
Marketing Mania
Internet Tips & Hints
Classifieds
Guest Article
Inspiration
Rest of the Classifieds
Etcetera


SPONSOR AD


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AD CONTEST


The question for last issue's ad contest was: The In the weather world, what is a "Positive Giant"? The answer: A Positive Giant is a lightning strike that hits the ground up to 20 miles away from the storm. Because it seems to strike from a clear sky it is known as "A Bolt From The Blue". These Positive Giant flashes strike between the storm's top "anvil" and the Earth and carry several times the destructive energy of a regular lightning strike. Source: http://www.coopsjokes.com/amz/amzlight.htm. See Naomi Knudsen's ad above—lots of people got this one, but Naomi was first in!

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor ad FREE! Here is the question:

What was the musical theme played at the beginning of the "Green Hornet" radio series?

Send to adcontest@elfexpressionsezine.com



KIDNEY STONES NO MORE!


The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results HE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have. (The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)

My husband has had chronic kidney stones for 15 years or better. He usually has flare-ups on a consistent basis . . . but not since using the Clark’s Colloidal Minerals. He has been free of any such problems since taking the minerals.

—Shirley Swift, Beaver Dam KY

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How about a nice big bowl of degermed yellow cornmeal, sodium bicarbonate, trisodium phosphate, sodium ascorbate, palmitate, pyridoxine hydrochloride, thiamin mononitrate and cyanocobalin? No? Well, why not? Those are just the ingredients of one of the best-selling breakfast cereals on the market today!




SUBSCRIBER IN THE SPOTLIGHT


The first subscriber to submit his or her personal profile sharing with the rest of us all about who he/she is, background, family, location, interests, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc., will be spotlighted right here next issue—and yes, an email and/or URL may be included!

Send to readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com

This week's Subscriber in the Spotlight COULD HAVE BEEN YOU! Once again, someone has missed some free publicity here. Pity!



The real art of conversation is not only to
say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

—Lady Dorothy Nevill


FEATURE ARTICLE


A GREAT LITTLE HABIT TO GET INTO

I know, I know. We all are weary with deleting junk email.

But a wise person will at least get SOME benefit out of it? How, you ask?

Next time you open your email, SAVE the headlines of those which compel or at least really tempt you to open.

Just copy and paste them into a word processor document or into your text editor.

Add to your collection every day. At the end of the month, go back and study those headlines.

You will find that, almost without fail, each one appeals to a basic emotion.

Delete any questionable entry you made, and save the rest.

Repeat the procedure the next month and so forth.

Then, whenever you're racking your brain for an effective headline, just open your little ol' file, and voila! Either you will find the task already done, or with a little combining of two or three, you will have a winner ready to go in no time.

****************

Feel free to reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine: http://elfexpressionsezine.com

To subscribe, email subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe



 

A BIBLE RIDDLE

Why were the priest's garments were made of linen?

ANSWER: Linen would help the priest NOT to sweat according to Ezekiel 44:18: "They shall have linen bonnets upon their heads, and shall have linen breeches upon their loins; they shall not gird themselves with any thing that causeth sweat."



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"If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
If he has a talent and uses only half of it,
he has partly failed.
If he has a talent and learns somehow to use the whole of it,
he has gloriously succeeded and has a
satisfaction and a triumph few men ever know."

—Thomas Wolfe



TODAY'S CHUCKLE


ABRAHAM’S RAM

Abraham wanted to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.

His son Isaac, was horrified, and exclaimed: “Pop, you can’t run Windows 95 on your ancient 386. Everyone knows you need a fast 486 with a least 16 mg of memory for that! What are you thinking???

But Abraham, a man of faith, gazed calmly at Isaac and said, “Do not worry, my son, God will provide the RAM.”




When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always.

—Mahatma Gandhi



TODAY'S ENGLISH LESSON


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue.

During the recent survey, there were some indications that several people could do without this segment of this publication. How do you feel? Do you wish to continue to receive these little lessons, or are you tired of them? If so, what would you like to see in this spot? Please email your thoughts to: elfbutter@erinet.com ASAP. Thanks!

Reminder: We offer a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: editingservice@elfexpressionsezine.com



MARKETING MANIA


SORRY, NO COLUMN THIS WEEK . . .

Featuring Donna Sweat, weekly columnist, and publisher of Dee's Helpful Info. and A Real Home Business Newsletter.

Donna has encountered some extraordinary problems with her ISP and her list host, so this feature will be suspended until she gets it all sorted out.

©2002 Donna Sweat — mailto:donna@sosbbs.com
Publisher — Dee's Helpful Info. — mailto:dsweat-subscribe@topica.com
Endless Mts. Home Business — http://www.homebizandmore.biz




"No man can live happily who regards himself alone,
who turns everything to his own advantage.
You must live for others if you wish to live for yourself."

—Seneca



INTERNET HINTS & TIPS


SEND THIS PAGE

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Here's an amazing fact for you:

The 20 million Mexican free-tail bats from Bracken Cave, Texas eat 250 tons of insects nightly.

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"Everyone is entitled to be stupid,
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—Unknown



GUEST ARTICLE


WHAT RESPONSE SHOULD YOU EXPECT FROM AN EZINE AD?
by Steve O'Connor

You've all heard it before, countless times no doubt— "Ezines are by far the best place to advertise online"—and it's true. There is no better place to reach a targeted audience and the proof is in the results—visitors from eZine ads are more likely to convert to sales at your website. That is fact.

But what sort of response should you expect from an eZine ad? How do you know whether your advertising results are good, bad, or indifferent?

These are basic questions that very few people actually know the answer to. In fact, because of all the hype aimed at prospective advertisers, I would guess that most advertisers expect far too much from an eZine ad.

Ezine advertising is not quite as powerful as it used to be because of the natural effects of email overload etc., but it's still good. But just how good? . . .

Well, I'm gonna tell you.

I advertise in eZines, a lot! That's basically what I do. I advertise in hundreds of eZines on a regular basis and as such, that allows me to compile some good statistics.

Here's the kind of response that I believe you should expect from eZine advertising today . . .

Regular Classified Ad:-
Average response rate (0.05% - 1 in every 2,000)
Response range (0.01% - 0.5%)

Middle Sponsor Ad:-
Average response rate (0.25% - 1 in every 400)
Response range (0.1% - 0.5%)

Top Sponsor Ad:-
Average response rate (0.5% - 1 in every 200)
Response range (0.25% - 1%)

Solo Ad:-
Average response rate (1.25% - 1 in every 80)
Response range (1% - 3%)

I bet that's less than you were expecting, right? Well, they are pure facts from our endless stream of advertising results. Sure, there are a lot of variables that can affect these results but I'm trying to provide you with a benchmark on which to base your own results.

If you're achieving results at the bottom of these response ranges then I can assure you that you can do better. Sure, it may be due to your ad and not the eZine that you're advertising in but once you hit an eZine that gives you the results near the top of these ranges, then you know that it's time to get choosy.

I've advertised in eZines and gotten absolutely zero response, plenty of times. There are a lot of eZines out there with poor subscribers—subscribers who simply don't react to advertising. But there are still plenty of good eZines out there—eZines that will bring you results.

Don't give up on what is still the best advertising medium on the web but be realistic. There really is no better place to invest your advertising dollar.

©2002, Steve O'Connor

=================================================

Steve is the author of "The Lazy Person's Guide to Ezine Advertising"—a unique resource revealing which eZines pull the most sales and which eZines to avoid. Check it out at:

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INSPIRATION


SOME THINGS YOU KEEP.

Some things you keep. Like good teeth. Warm coats. Bald husbands. They're good for you, reliable and practical, and so sublime that to throw them away would make the garbage man a thief. So you hang on, because something old is sometimes better than something new, and what you know is often better than a stranger.

These are my thoughts—they make me sound old, old and tame, and dull at a time when everybody else is risky and racy and flashing all that's new and improved in their lives. New careers, new thighs, new lips, new cars. The world is dizzy with trade-ins. I could keep track, but I don't think I want to.

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents—a mother, God bless her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it—and still does. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

They weren't poor, my parents, they were just satisfied. Their marriage was good, their dreams focussed. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers and tee shirt and Mom in a house dress, lawnmower in his hand, dishtowel in hers. It was a time for fixing things—a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, the screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress.

Things you keep. It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing—I wanted just once to be wasteful.

Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant there'd always be more.

But then my father died, and on that clear autumn night, in the chill of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any "more." Sometimes what you care about most gets all used up and goes away, never to return.

So, while you have it, it's best to love it and care for it, and fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. That's true for marriage and old cars and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents. You keep them because they're worth it, because you're worth it.

Some things you keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate you grew up with—there're just some things that make life important . . . people you know are special . . . and you KEEP them close!

—Author unknown




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ETCETERA

Contact publisher at:
elfbutter@erinet.com

To advertise, email ads to: advertising@elfexpressionsezine.com
All classified ads are free for right now and are for subscribers only.
Classifieds: 7-lines, 65-characters per line (including URL or email address)
Top Sponsor Ads: 20 lines
SOLO ads: 50 lines.

To pay for an ad, click one of the buttons below:

SOLO ads are $25 each.

Quantity
     

************************************************

Top Sponsor Ads are $10.00 per issue.

Quantity
     

************************************************

Prioritized Classified Ads are $1.00 per issue.

Quantity
     

************************************************

Or send money order or cashier's check to PO Box 854, Franklin OH 45005.

To submit an article or to make suggestions or comments:
readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com

To use our editing/proofreading service, send a blank email to:
editingservice@elfexpressionsezine.com

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"DISCLAIMER: We disclaim any liability for the use of any contributed information contained herein. We also claim no responsibility for the legality or accuracy of advertisements or articles submitted and reprinted by permission. It is the contributor's and/or advertiser's responsibility to abide by all pertinent jurisdictional laws and regulations pertaining to that person's business."

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