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'elf Express Extra
Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"

Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 33X - November 14, 2002
Regular issue published every Tuesday

Greetings, all . . . I'm still getting free ad submissions from existing subscribers. Obviously, these people are not reading this ezine, only using it to get free ads. Once again, free ads for existing subscribers have been discontinued. It now costs $2 per classified ad. And new subscribers will receive one free classified when they sign up. Maybe if I repeat this message often enough, eventually it will "get through"! :-)

In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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"Patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion
but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."
—Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr.

CONTENTS:
Sponsor Ad
Guest Article
Today’s Chuckle
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera

WHAT CAUSES FREE RADICALS?

As promised, I've temporarily suspended publishing personal testimonies in this slot to include a few excerpts from the amazing book that started it all, "Lessons From the Miracle Doctors," by Jon Barron.
"There are four primary sources of free radicals:
"The Environment: Air pollution, cigarette smoke, smog, soot, automobile exchaust, toxic waste, pesticides, herbicides, ultraviolet light, background radiation, drugs, and even certain foods can all generate free radicals in the body.
"Internal Production: Our bodies are constantly producing free radicals as a byproduct of normal metabolic functions.
"Stress factors such as: aging, trauma, medications, disease, infection, and "stress" iself all accelerate the body's production of free radicals—oftentimes by a factor of eight times or more.
"Chain reactions: When a free radical steals an electron to balance itself out, it creats a new free radical in the molecule from which it stole the electron. In many cases the new free radical will seek to balance itself out by stealing an electron—and so on, and so on. And remember, even one free radical is capable of destroying an entire cell, or a strand of DNA."
If you would like to get a free download of Jon Barron's book, "Lessons from the Miracle Doctors," go to:
http://goodbody.healingamerica.com
The only company in the world with scalar enhanced products!
If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website: Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation. Very shortly then, you will be contacted to determine if you qualify for our program.

GUEST ARTICLE

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THIS IS WRITTEN BY . . . IT'S THE FLAT-OUT TRUTH!!
(so please reserve any conservative/liberal pretenses)
by Rush Limbaugh, March 11, 2002

I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving the country [the USA, for those of you elsewhere] in uniform, are profound.
No one is really talking about it either because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th.
Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country.
If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.
If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.
Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs.
If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry.
And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt.
Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough.
We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting.
In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.
You see where this is going, don't you?
Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of entitlement politics in this country.
It's just really sad.

"Whenever God determines to do a great work,
He first sets His people to pray."
—Charles H. Spurgeon

A BIBLE RIDDLE

Can you name all the times that a river or other body of water was crossed "on dry ground?"
ANSWER: There are only four times that a river or a body of water was crossed on dry ground in the Bible. They are:
1—Moses and the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea. Exodus 14:21-22.
2—Joshua and the children of Israel crossing the Jordan into the Promised Land. Joshua 3.
3—Elijah and Elisha crossing the River Jordan in 2nd Kings 2:8.
4—Elisha re-crossing the River Jordan in 2nd Kings 2:14 after Elijah is taken up to heaven in a fiery chariot.
The one in Revelation 16 is yet to come, so it doesn't count yet.

Motivators — Promise of gain & fear of loss

TODAY'S CHUCKLE

IDIOTS . . . THEY'RE REALLY OUT THERE!

Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he'd gotten from the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Again, how wondrously and marvelously we are made:
A person's heart beats about 100,000 times a day.
About 9,000 quarts of blood move through the heart every day.
Source: Usborne Facts and Fun About Animals and Science

Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the Internet,
and he won't bother you for weeks.

INTERNET HINTS & TIPS

HOW TO CREATE A POP DOWN MENU FOR ALL YOUR LINKS

Putting all your links in one place will certainly conserve space and make your web pages load faster.
The solution is the a Pop Down Menu for all your links.
Here's how to do it:
http://www.resource-a-day.net/resources/popdown/
AOL users click here

Terrorists—most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video, and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration . . .

The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
—Richard M. Nixon

GUEST ARTICLE

WHAT TO DO IF YOU LOSE YOUR PURSE OR WALLET

We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed using your name, address, SS#, credit, etc.
Unfortunately, I (author of this piece) have firsthand knowledge, because my wallet was stolen last month, and within a week the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know.
As everyone always advises, cancel your credit cards immediately, but the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call.
Keep those where you can find them easily (having to hunt for them is additional stress you WON'T need at that point)!
On a personal note, I remember losing a MasterCard, and until I got the toll free number from information, etc. I was a wreck.
File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen—this proves to credit providers you were diligent and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important:
I never ever thought to do this. Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and SS#.
I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.
The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this—almost 2 weeks after the theft—all the damage had been done. (There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert).
Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks.
The numbers of the three national agencies are:
Equifax 1-800 525-6285
Experian (formerly TRW) 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union 1-800-680-7289

Social Security Administration also has a fraud line at 1-800-269-0271.
We pass along jokes, we pass along just about everything . . . do think about passing this information along . . . it could help someone else.
—Author Unknown

INSPIRATION

Please Teach Me, Lord.
I want to know
Exactly how to Pray.
I need some Words
Which ones are right?
Please tell me what to Say.
I've Bowed my Head
I have Knelt down,
But . . . should I be Upright?
I've Closed my eyes,
I've Raised my hands,
Or . . . should I Fold them tight?
Do I stand up?
Should I sit down?
Dear Lord . . . what do You like?
Are Lights turned On
Or are they Off?
Maybe . . . Candlelight?
Wear my Glasses?
Take them off?
Be at my desk or table?
Should I Whisper?
Speak out loud?
Do I quote the Bible?
What do You think
About the Time?
Do You prefer the Dawn?
Should I Pray Fast,
Or keep it Slow?
Better Short . . . or Long?
I'm New at this
What are the Rules?
I want to do it Right.
How do I know
You'll even hear
That I am in Your sight?
And while I sat there quietly,
Waiting for some sign,
I Heard a Gentle Voice Say
"Oh, dearest Child of Mine . . .
Do you think I really care
About the Time of day,
Or whether you are Standing up,
Or Kneeling when you Pray?
I don't care about your Posture,
Or about the Place you choose;
Just open up your Soul to me,
I have no other rules.
Tell Me what is in Your Heart,
And tell me what you Seek;
Tell me of your Sorrows,
And of those things that made you weak.
Speak to me in Private
About what concerns you most;
I know about your Good Deeds . . .
You have no need to boast.
My Child, You don't need Lessons,
Just Talk to Me each day;
Tell Me Anything you want, dear child,
Anyone can PRAY."

© 1999 Virginia Ellis

ETCETERA

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