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'elf Expressions Ezine
Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"

Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

To subscribe, send blank email to:
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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 35 - November 26, 2002
Published every Tuesday

Happy snow day, everyone—at least those of you here in the Miami Valley of the Midwest in southwestern Ohio, USA. Winter is here . . . and Thanksgiving is upon us. However, thanks-giving should be upon our lips and in our hearts every day of the year, not just on this one special day reserved for it.

We in America especially have more to be thankful for than probably any other people in the world, because the Lord has blessed this nation mightily. When you sit down to your traditional feast this year, why not ask each one at the table to verbalize a brief thank-you for something with which he or she has been blessed? Maybe start an annual tradition, and then extend that into each and every family mealtime.

In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them. Just go to:
http://elfexpressionsezine.com

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the Word of God and prayer. If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed."
—I Timothy 4:4-6 (NIV)

CONTENTS:

Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
Feature Article
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English lesson
Marketing Mania
Internet Tips & Hints
Classifieds
Guest Article
Inspiration
Rest of the Classifieds
Etcetera

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AD CONTEST

Last week's question was: In 1951, the United States ordered construction of the world's first atomic submarine. What did they name the first Atomic Submarine? The answer: the Nautilus. Several sent in the correct answer, but Tony Miranda was first in—see ad above.

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AN ACTIVE AND PAIN FREE LIFE

The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results SHE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have. (The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)
"I was diagnosed with Lupus 10 years ago and with rheumatoid and osteoarthritis last year. My job in sales requires that I drive all day making calls to clients. The rheumatoid arthritis was so painful in my hands and knees that it was making the driving very difficult, and I worried that I would have to give up my career.
"After taking the Omega 9+ formula for three weeks, I was virtually pain free and had more energy than I have had in years. Thanks to this wonderful product I can live an active and pain free life and most importantly enjoy my job again!"
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"This is the Book. I have read the Bible through many times, and now make it a practice to read it through once every year. It is a book of all others for lawyers, as well as divines; and I pity the man who cannot find in it a rich supply of thought and of rules for conduct. It fits man for life—it prepares him for death."
—Daniel Webster

SUBSCRIBER IN THE SPOTLIGHT

The first subscriber to submit his or her personal profile sharing with the rest of us all about who he/she is, background, family, location, interests, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc., will be spotlighted right here next issue—and yes, an email and/or URL may be included!

Send to readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com

And now . . . meet Tammie Allen . . .

Hello all,
My name is Tammie Allen. I am a soon-to-be 40-year-old single parent of a 15-year-old. What an age! Each day brings a new adventure for us!
The thing that I most love about my life right now is being home to not miss these important times. I actually overheard my daughter tell not one, but two of her friends the other day that I am her best friend! At the age of 15 no less.
The most I hope for every day is that she doesn't totally despise me. Then to hear such a compliment. I know her feelings change every 30 seconds, but times like that make being a parent worth it all!
They also make working 80 plus hours to try to be able to stay home worth it, too. I do not know if I will succeed at this or not, but while the chance is here, I am putting every ounce of effort I have into it.
The motto of my website and ezine, The-Net-Review, is "Success only counts when all can succeed." That is what I hope to assist with by being online. Building something that I enjoy and am proud of, as well as helping others do the same.
Take care and the best of luck to us all.
The-Net-Review
http://www.the-net-review.com
subscribe@the-net-review.com

"Those people who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants."
—William Penn

FEATURE ARTICLE

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A GREAT EZINE

Creating a super ezine takes a lot of preliminary thought and planning. Bottom line, you have to make it easy to read.
Realize first of all that there is a difference between an ezine (an online magazine) and an electronic newsletter (formatted more like a newspaper and focussed on newsy items).
If you opt to publish an ezine, format it to allow only one item to be accessible to your readers at a time. (In other words, don't format it as you would a newsletter.)
The difference is that newsletters require the reader to make one choice after another, whether to read this first, or that—whether to click on this link, or that one, etc.
Streamline your ezine so that your reader has an easy time of it. Refrain from putting in a lot of fancy characters here and there. I'm talking about a series of @@@@@@@@@@@@@ or &&&&&&&&&&&&&& or combinations of characters, such as ^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^ or %$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$ to try to create fancy borders or decorations. These things are intrusive and distracting.
Keep things uncluttered by using simple, straight forward division lines, such as ================== or ************************. Allow your text to flow from top to bottom as the reader scrolls. Don't force readers to choose.
Remember, you are working with the reader's eyes, and hard work on your part will allow your reader to have an easy read. You will keep more subscribers longer if they find it easy to read what you publish.
Too many choices create confusion and frustration. Your reader wants to be able to relax and enjoy, and if you allow him to see what you publish in straight succession, you eliminate the decision making requirements and allow him to experience everything you have to offer in sequence.
Don't put any more pressure on your readers by forcing them to choose between going here or clicking there.
The last two points I would like to make are these: Don't make your paragraphs more than 2-3 sentences long. (You are forcing your reader to work instead of allowing him to enjoy.) And don't put a lot of extra white space in your publication, which forces the reader to do extra scrolling. Don't we have to do enough of that as it is?
This is called "making life easier for others."

===========================================================================

Feel free to reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine: http://elfexpressionsezine.com
To subscribe, email subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe

A BIBLE RIDDLE

What happened to all the animals AFTER THE FLOOD, that was DIFFERENT to them from BEFORE the flood?
ANSWER: They feared man according to Genesis 9:2: "And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered."

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TODAY'S CHUCKLE

WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, TEACHER!

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men,
undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
—Thomas Paine

TODAY'S ENGLISH LESSON

Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue.

This one concerns the misuse of "proceeding" and "preceding." Now listen up!
"Proceeding" can be a noun or a verb. Used as a noun, it is an event, such as in a legal proceeding. This is the root word of "procession." Used as a verb, it means going forward with something, as in: "We were proceeding up the gangplank," or "He proceeded to take off his coat."
"Preceding" means coming or going before, as in: The preceding sentence describes the erroneous use of this word. This is a form of the root word, "precedent," as used in legal terminology, viz: setting a precedent.

Reminder: We offer a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: editingservice@elfexpressionsezine.com

MARKETING MANIA

"TOYS FOR TOTS"

Featuring Donna Sweat, weekly columnist, and publisher of Dee's Helpful Info. and A Real Home Business Newsletter.
We are proud to be a partner with the official U.S. Marines "Toys for Tots" program in The Second Annual Internet Toy Drive. http://www.internettoydrive.com
Help a needy child in YOUR community right now!
ANNOUNCING . . .
The Second Annual Internet Toy Drive!

It's a sad fact that millions of children in the United States will NOT have a single gift to open on Christmas Day!
We aim to change that and make sure EVERY child has at least one present "from Santa" under the tree.
Our goal is to raise $500,000.00 for Toys for Tots from now until December 24th. That can ONLY happen if all of us put our hearts on the line and donate.
Please visit http://www.internettoydrive.com/donate.html and give whatever you can right now. We accept credit cards, online checks and mail-in donations.
* ALL donations will be placed on special order forms (credit cards and online checks) on the Toys for Tots secure server.Donors will receive an automated email/tax deductible receipt when their donation/order is confirmed. Mail-in payments are also accepted.
* Donations will be dispersed to the nearest U.S. Marine Corps Base to the donor for the purchase of needed gifts.
:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~* :
***
. * (\ (_) /) * .
. * . (_/l l\_) . * .
. * . /___\ . * .
* ... *

:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~* :

So the question becomes . . . Can We and the Kids count on You?
Excellent! Just know in your heart that MANY needy children will be smiling Christmas Day JUST because of YOU! :-)
Have a Wonderful Holiday!
Rick Beneteau, Anne Marie Baugh, J. L. Scott PH.D.

mailto:donna@sosbbs.com
Publisher — Dee's Helpful Info. — subscribe@homebizandmore.biz
Endless Mts. Home Business — http://www.homebizandmore.biz

My first day in basic training, we were lined up in a row, each of us in turn having to shout our last names. After the guy next to me had yelled, "Florence," it was my turn. I had no sooner called out my name than the training instructor was in my face, demanding to know if I was some kind of smart aleck. Satisfied that I wasn't, the red-faced TI told me never to stand next to that guy again.
—Contributed by Charles W. Nightingale

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GUEST ARTICLE

STRONGER, CLEARER TESTIMONIAL LETTERS SELL BETTER
by Marcia Yudkin

Misconceptions about testimonial quotes from clients and customers are rampant, weakening websites and printed brochures that fail to use the full power of these marketing tools. For instance, longer is not better, and unsigned testimonials add little credibility, even for a professional service where confidentiality is appropriate.
Here are two blurbs that I found posted on the Web, along with my analysis and revision.
1—BEFORE:
Rudy, Exelrod & Zieff LLP has been very pleased with results of its website developed through Lawinfo.com. Because our firm is easily locatable through the major search engines, we are finding that numerous people are contacting us who otherwise would not. Additionally, Lawinfo.com handles modifications of our website easily and otherwise provides good service.
Sincerely,
Alan Exelrod, Rudy, Exelrod & Zieff LLP, www.reztlaw.com
PROBLEMS:
"Numerous people" is vague. I would ask this attorney how many that would be—three a month, thirty a day or what? "Handles modifications of our website easily" is unclear—does it mean that Lawinfo.com makes changes soon after you e-mail them in, or that they have a procedure in place to enable site owners to do it themselves? While this question is undoubtedly answered elsewhere on the site, it can usefully be clarified within a testimonial like this as well. Next, what is meant by "provides good service"? I don't think the "Sincerely" is necessary. Finally, all testimonials should have quotation marks around them to make it explicit that these are the customer's exact words.
AFTER:
"Rudy, Exelrod & Zieff LLP has been very pleased with results of its website developed through Lawinfo.com. Because our firm is easily locatable through the major search engines, we now have more than thirty new clients a month that we would not otherwise have. Additionally, Lawinfo.com posts our e-mailed website modifications within a day, is always up and running, and resolves billing issues promptly." —Alan Exelrod, Rudy, Exelrod & Zieff LLP, www.reztlaw.com
2. BEFORE:
"Kidspiration is fun! Students will think they are playing while they are engaged in language development, concept building, and acquiring a variety of learning skills, such as classification and sight word knowledge." —Renee Schorr, Early Childhood Teacher, Winship Elementary School, Brighton, MA
PROBLEMS:
All nine quotes on this site use "will" or present tense, referring to predictions or guesses about results. Not one testimonial talks about real-life, classroom-tested results. Over-all, this conveys a strong sense that the product has neither been released nor tested in actual classrooms. Poking around on the site, I learned that is absolutely untrue. The site thus needs to go back to its testimonial writers for real observations or get new quotes from those who have seen the product in action.
AFTER:
"Kidspiration is fun! Students in my classroom believe they are playing while they are engaged in language development, concept building, and acquiring a variety of learning skills such as classification and sight word knowledge." —Renee Schorr, Early Childhood Teacher, Winship Elementary School, Brighton, MA
=======================================================================

The above is excerpted from Secrets of Mouthwatering Marketing Copy by Marcia Yudkin, available from http://www.yudkin.com/mouthwatering.htm. Marcia Yudkin marcia@yudkin.com is the author of 11 books, including Persuading on Paper and Internet Marketing for Less than $500/Year.

INSPIRATION

FROM THE MOUTHS OF CHILDREN

Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Dear God,
It rained for our whole vacation, and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (I am not going to tell you who I am).
Dear God,
I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Dear God,
Did you really mean Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You, because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother.
Dear God,
My Grand Pa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Dear God,
It's okay that you made different religions but don't you get mixed up sometimes?
Dear God,
In the bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right.
Dear God,
Is reverend Coe a friend of yours, or did you just meet him through business?
Dear God,
In Sunday school they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation?
Dear God,
We read that Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
Dear God,
I never thought orange went with purple, until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.

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ETCETERA

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