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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone and everyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 2 - Issue 4X - April 18, 2002
The regular issue is published every Tuesday evening


By the time you receive this issue, my husband and I will be attending a Healing America convention in Owensboro, Kentucky. Naturally, I won't be answering any reader mail until we get back on Sunday or Monday—just wanted you to know why any required response will be delayed.



In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001


Smile!

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Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought.

—Samuel Johnson



CONTENTS:

Guest Article
Today’s Chuckle
Internet Tips & Hints
Today's Health Tip
Inspiration
Etcetera


ARTHRITIS, MORE AND LESS


The following is a testimonial from an individual stating what results HE has experienced. No medical claims are implied, and we are not saying that the products discussed will cure the problems you have. (The foregoing statement is required by the US Government, which should not be a substitute for your ability and right to think for yourself and make your own decisions!)

I shared the Preferred Natural Balance Plus with a lady who had complained that she had arthritis in her hand which was the result of a broken bone several years ago. She said that the pain woke her every night, and that she had to get up and take medication to go back to sleep.

I suggested that she rub some of the cream on her hand before she went to bed, that she might get some relief. She called the next day elated over the results. She said that after using the Natural Balance Plus the night before, she had slept the entire night pain free—and that was the first time in months that that had happened.

Wonderful news, but it doesn't stop there. What I did not know was that her aunt, who was visiting, was having severe pain with a knee joint at the same time. She wanted to rub some of the cream on her knee to see if it would help. Guess what? The pain left and she no longer had pain that night.

And would you believe it, the benefits continue. Her sister was also visiting that night and overheard my explanation of the primary purpose of the Natural Balance Plus. What I did not know was that she was experiencing cramping and pain in her ovaries because of her monthly cycle. Immediately after I left, she rubbed the cream on her abdomen, and within minutes the pain was gone. Some skeptics may say all this was just a coincidence. My answer is, "Next."

—Warren L. Pulliam, Bardstown KY

If you would like to see what has worked miracles in these people's lives, go to:

http://goodbody.healingamerica.com
The only company in the world with scalar enhanced products!

If you would like to look into becoming a distributor, just go to this website: Watch the 6-minute video presentation (it may take a few minutes to load). Fill out and submit the questionnaire at the end of the presentation.



GUEST ARTICLE


How to Handle Troublesome Subscribers With Kid Gloves
by Alexandria K. Brown

It was four years ago, and I was nearly in tears when a good friend called me. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"You know that e-mail newsletter I started a few months ago?" I said.

"Yes."

"Well, it's been going really well—I have about 500 readers now. But a subscriber just sent me an e-mail, and all he wrote was 'Take me off your %$&#*@ list, you %$&#*@ spammer!' All my subscribers are opt-in. I never sign ANYONE up myself. This guy subscribed on his own, but now he thinks I'm a . . ." I cringed at the upcoming word, ". . . SPAMMER! I'm going to quit publishing."

"Hey!" my friend reasoned with me. "Don't say that. It's just business, Ali. You're always going to get one or two bad eggs in the bunch. That's just how it goes. You're really putting yourself, your ideas, and your e-mail address 'out there,' and there's a risk to that."

She then reminded me how much business I'd gained from publishing my e-zine, and all the compliments on it I'd received from clients, prospects, and associates. Of course she was right. That e-mail hurt, but it wasn't directed toward me. That guy probably had a bad day—maybe he got in a car accident or got fired—and then he opened his e-mail inbox to find dozens of junk e-mails.

Turns out my story isn't uncommon. Many credible e-zine publishers have shared that they do receive nasty e-mails from disgruntled subscribers who forgot they subscribed and are convinced the e-zine is unwanted mail (otherwise known as "spam").

The bottom line? Don't take any chances. Here are six things you can do to avoid problems AND handle any trouble gracefully.

1——Publish on a regular basis. If you send out your e-zine on a haphazard schedule, you risk subscribers becoming unfamiliar with your newsletter and mistaking it for spam. They may have forgotten they subscribed!

2——Always put a *masthead* at the very top of your e-zine that tells your readers WHO you are, WHY they're getting your e-mail, WHAT your e-mail contains, and how they can CONTACT you.

3——In EVERY issue, remind the reader that he SUBSCRIBED to your missive! Something like this will do: "You've received this e-zine because you subscribed to it! If you wish to unsubscribe, please scroll to the end for more information."

4——Provide CLEAR unsubscribe instructions for your readers. Most e-zines put these at the bottom, but some are putting them at the top now to make them easier to find. If your list service allows, always provide a way to unsubscribe via e-mail. (It's easier for many of your readers to send a quick e-mail instead of link to the Web.)

5——No matter how easy and clear your unsubscribe instructions are, realize you WILL get some folks writing YOU directly to take them off your list. Accommodate them immediately.

Now, I know a few publishers who disagree with me on this one. They instruct these people to "go back and follow the unsubscribe instructions." But I say just take care of it NOW on your own to avoid future problems—you won't have to do this often anyway.

Send them a polite reply (no matter how rude they were). Something like this will do nicely:

"Dear < READER NAME >, Per your request, I have manually removed your name from our subscriber list. Thank you for giving us a try. You should not be receiving any more issues of < EZINE NAME >. If you do have any more trouble, please write me personally at < E-MAIL ADDRESS > and I'll be happy to help.

If you'd like to tell me why you're unsubscribing, I'd appreciate it. I'm always looking to improve my content and your feedback would be valuable.

Have a nice day.

< NAME >"

6—) If someone writes you to politely disagree with your article or editorial, be happy about it. Why? This means people are READING your e-zine, and are so interested in the topic at hand that they want to talk about it with you! If what they have to offer is valuable, you may want to begin a dialogue. I've developed many valuable online relationships with colleagues through discussing the points of my newsletters.

However, if they're obviously writing just to hurt you or make you feel bad, here's where you need to be the better person. Don't fuel the fire—diffuse it. Simply give a respectful acknowledgement. Here's a completely neutral reply that you can use for these occasions:

"Dear < READER NAME >, Thanks for writing! I really enjoy hearing from my subscribers, especially from other professionals like you. That's a very interesting point you bring up, and it's well taken. Thank you for sharing it.

Best, < YOUR NAME >"

Through these petty annoyances, remember the big picture of why you started your e-zine. It was likely to gain credibility and "expert" status. Your professional reputation is at stake. By publishing an e-zine, you're also in the business of customer service. No one will want to hire you or buy from you if you're less than courteous and pleasant. Word spreads like wildfire on the Web! It ALWAYS pays to be kind, be considerate, and to "take the high road." : )

©2002, Alexandria K. Brown

****************

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alexandria K. Brown, "The E-zine Queen," is author of "Boost Business With Your Own E-zine." Sign up for her FREE newsletter that shows e-zine publishers how to write irresistible content, promote their services and products, and gain thousands of subscribers quickly. Subscribe now via EzineQueen-On@lists.webvalence.com

AUTHOR PHOTO AVAILABLE AT: http://www.akbwriting.com/images/alibrown.jpg





God is in the details.

—Ludwig Mies Van Der Rohe



 

A BIBLE RIDDLE

Huz and Buz--who are they?? (Or do they even really exist—grin.)

ANSWER: They were the nephews of Abraham. Genesis 22:20-21 "And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor; Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother,"





The artist is not a different kind of person,
but every person is a different kind of artist.

—Eric Gill




TODAY'S CHUCKLE


WOULD YOU BELIEVE . . . THESE ADS ACTUALLY WERE PUBLISHED?

  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
  • Benefits: Blue Cross Medical Insurance and salary.
  • Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
  • Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. Man, honest. Will take anything.
  • Used cars: why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
  • Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
  • Wanted: hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
  • Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.



A wise man sees as much as he ought,
not as much as he can.

—Michel De Montaigne





Our greatest glory is not in never failing,
but in rising up every time we fail.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson



INTERNET HINTS & TIPS


Commonly used Internet related file types (Part I)

Are you wondering what all those file types you see on the web are about? What are their meanings? What do they stand for?

Well, here are a few that you commonly see but most of us certainly don't know what they stand for:

http://www.resource-a-day.net/resources/filetypes1.html





Nurture your mind with great thoughts.

—Benjamin Disraeli





The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

—William James



TODAY'S HEALTH TIP



Today's health tip is for those who suffer from poor circulation and/or high blood pressure.

The Lord has provided everything we need in nature to maintain our health, if only we would learn that.

Cayenne pepper is one of the best all-around remedies for many things, and it especially helps improve circulation and lowers blood pressure.

And the hotter the pepper, the better it works, and the less you need to use. Don't let that statement scare you off. Start using it slowly and sparingly. Sprinkle a little on your eggs, soup, casseroles, potatoes, etc. Increase the amount gradually when you start to develop a taste and a tolerance for it.

One of the best ways to get more into your system more quickly is to put about 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon in a cup, add hot water, and sip. This is especially useful for sore throats.

And—this can be life saving—if someone shows signs of a heart attack, pour as much tabasco sauce down the victim's throat as quickly as you can. In many cases, it will normalize the heart action before the rescue squad can get there.



INSPIRATION


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of four- to eight-year-olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca—age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy—age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl—age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy—age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri—age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny—age 7

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby—age 5

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate." Nikka—age 6

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny—age 4

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle—age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy—age 6

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare—age 5

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine—age 5

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris—age 8

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann—age 4

I know my older sister loves me, because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren—age 4

I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." Bethany—age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen—age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica—age 8




Etcetera

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