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'elf Express Extra

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.



Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 3 - Issue 31 - April 12, 2003
Regular issue published every Tuesday


Welcome, all readers and lots of new subscribers . . . what a day! Absolutely gorgeous here in southwestern Ohio. The ideal Spring day . . . 'bout time! It's Saturday, and I can't wait to hit the "send" button on this issue, because I just installed an ungraded version of Add2It, and I pray that this one works a whole lot quicker than the original, which took hours!

And finally, a note to new subscribers to point out that this is an extra edition. The regular edition (published every Tuesday) contains a lot fewer classifieds. The extra editions are to accommodate all the new subscriber ads.





In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001


Smile!

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them. Just go to:

http://elfexpressionsezine.com


Signature


The most hidden secrets that the wealthy webmasters are using now to get their millions of hits every day.


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You look at any giant corporation, and I mean the biggies,
and they all started with a guy with an idea, doing it well.

—Irvine Robbins



Contents:

Sponsor Ad
Guest Article
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Classifieds
Internet Tips & Hints
Classifieds
Guest Article
Classifieds
Inspiration
Classifieds
Etcetera


Sponsor Ad


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"I have a brain tumor, which causes a very loud ringing in my ear, similar to a big church bell. I have also lost a lot of my balance. Some days I couldn't walk without falling. I have not had the tumor operated on, because there is a 75-80% chance that I would become a vegetable because of its location.

"I started drinking 1 ounce of Neutralizer twice a day and putting 7 drops of Neutralizer in both ears daily, plus I put Neutralizer Gel on a Q-tip and coat the ear canal. I also bathe in the Soap 3 times a week. Since using the Master's Miracle products, the ringing has nearly gone away, and my balance has returned to normal.

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If You're Considering Having Your Gallbladder Removed . . .


As promised, I've temporarily suspended publishing personal testimonies in this slot to include a few excerpts from the amazing book that started it all, "Lessons From the Miracle Doctors," by Jon Barron.

"The poor gallbladder. Guilty by being found at the scene of the crime, it is the frequent target of the surgeon's knife. Gallbladder removal is one of the most frequently performed operations in America.

"Understand, the gallbladder is not repsonsible for the production of gallstones. The liver is the culprit—or rather what we do to the liver. The gallbladder is merely a holding area for bile to be used in the digestion of fats and oils. But if our diets are too high in the wrong kinds of oils, if we have allergies to dairy and eggs, low levels of stomach acid, too little fiber in our diets, stress, if the liver is not functioning properly, etc., why then the bile produced in the liver (a mixture of cholesterol, minerals, bile salts, pigment, and lecithin) is of a type and consistency that tends of quickly harden into "stones" before it can be passed out of the gallbladder.

"Removing the gallbladder does not remove the problem; it merely removes the symptoms. Yes, it's true that after gallbladder removal you're unlikely to suffer from further gallstones. But on the other hand, you've now traded one problem for two new ones:

"1 — Since you never corrected the underlying problem of imbalances in the liver, these problems will just continue to get worse—eventually compromising the liver itself.

"2 — By removing the gallbladder, you also remove its regulating effect on bile. That means that bile is continually dumping into your intestinal tract when it is not needed, and is available in only minimal amounts when it is needed. The net result is chronic digestive problems and probable long-term nutritional deficiencies.

"Far better than removing the gallbladder is a seasonal liver/gallbladder flush combined with a periodic liver rebuilding program."

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Guest Article


Have You Ever Been to Nantucket?
by Pamela Geiss

I don't know if you remember the television show "Wings" or not. It was a cute comedy show whose reruns are now being shown on the Nick at Nite Network about two brothers who ran a small plane service on the island of Nantucket.

Anyway, the other night I had the show on and a girl was talking about how the travel business had risen 15% on Nantucket since she started working for the agency. One of the guys made that comment that it was cold there in the winter with absolutely nothing to do, so how had she managed that. She said she started thinking about what kind of person would really love being in a cold and barren place in the middle of winter and realized it would be a masochist. So, she looked up societies and found the Masochist Society and sent them a promo on travel to Nantucket in the winter. Lo and behold, a bunch of them made reservations!

Now, of course this was meant to be funny, but I thought how brilliant her idea really was. Talk about targeting your advertising! This was a perfect example of a person truly thinking about her target market.

And that's what you need to do to be successful in your business. If you spam or just send out ads anywhere and to anyone, you are wasting your time and money and resources. Stop and think about it: You would get many more sales if you target your market and send to those who would be interested in what you are selling. Would you rather send an email out to 50,000 horse lovers when you are selling dog shampoo, or send the same email to 5,000 members of the American Kennel Club? Which one do you think would get you the most orders for dog shampoo? It's not always the number of emails you are sending that gets you the best results.

Don't forget, your time is worth something. Spend it wisely and you will reap the benefits. Building a business online or off is hard work and takes more time than you think. Don't waste it spamming people who will either report you or at the very least, delete your email.

Big business hires market research companies to tell them where to send their catalogs and direct mail. There is a reason they do that! They don't want to waste their money and efforts advertising to people who won't be interested. They want the best odds they can get, and you should be thinking the same way. Hey, maybe you aren't big business yet . . . but if you don't start thinking like big business, you never will be!

©2003: Pamela Geiss

=========================================================================

Pamela Geiss owns LotsaPerks.com, an online advertising agency. Visit her today at http://www.lotsaperks.com and get a copy of her free Ebook, "Digital Deception."




"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality."

—Erich Fromm



 

A Bible Riddle

How did God provide bread for the Israelites when they complained in the wilderness?

Answer — God rained it from heaven, according to Exodus 16:4 — "Then said the Lord unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no."



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"Business without profit is not business
any more than a pickle is candy."

—Charles F. Abbott




Today's Chuckle


A psychiatrist is assessing the mental status of three patients.

He asks each of them to answer the question, "What's three times three?"

The first patient says, "158."

The second patient replies, "Tuesday."

The third patient answers, "Nine."

The shrink turns to this last patient and asks, "Good! but how did you came up with the correct answer?"

"Easy," he quipped, "Just subtract 158 from Tuesday!"



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Do not follow where the path may lead.
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—Muriel Strode



Classifieds


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Success usually comes to those who are
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Internet Hints & Tips


How To Create Your Own AD Billboard

This resource will teach you how to create your own ad billboard. The ads are in scrolling text form and are clickable with your mouse.

This is a very nice tool that will allow you to put all your text links in one place without occupying too much space on your web page.

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Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.



Guest Article


Are You the Jack of All Trades?
by Sean Wu

The most commonly overlooked question for a great number of netpreneurs who are looking to start an online business is whether they are planning to do it alone or as a team. Whether you are planning to start or have already began working on your Internet business, it is wise to step back and evaluate the different skills that are required to succeed online.

For most people new to an online business, their Internet dream starts with a great idea, which can be an original ebook, affiliate program, software, or online service. Yet, most people fail to realize that from their ideas, the product or service must be produced, a website must be created, a marketing campaign must be executed, and so on and so forth.

Many people say that the beauty of starting an online business is that it requires little or no start-up cost. Well, the truth is that if you are planning to start an online business with little or no money, be prepared to do a Lot of things yourself.

Also, starting an Internet business rarely costs nothing. At the very least, you'll need a computer, an Internet connection, and a web host if you are planning to have a website.

If you are planning to pursue your Internet dream alone, you will have to be the jack of all trades. That means that you must be your own website developer, product creator, search engine expert, links manager, ezine publisher, customer service personnel, accountant, and Internet marketer. For the average person, assuming most, if not all, of the roles mentioned above is indeed a daunting task.

On the other hand, you may choose to work on your Internet business as a team. The advantage of working with a team is that it lessens each person's workload and allows each individual to concentrate more on his or her assigned task(s). However, be prepared to share your profits with each other.

If you do not have any friends who are interested or willing to work with you, then you might consider hiring others to work for you. You can hire others to work for you on a one-time basis (such as designing your website) or you may choose to employ someone to do some routine work (such as maintaining and updating your website).

Now, if you still think that starting an Internet business is easy, think again. Despite all the hype that you might have heard about making great amounts of money from your own product or affiliate program, succeeding online does not happen overnight.

However, starting an Internet business does not necessarily have to be hard. As with any offline business, an Internet business requires that you take the time to learn the different aspects of the business. Would you go to battle in a war if you have never done any military training?

After all, an Internet business is, as its name implies, a business. Hence, you must treat your Internet business seriously if you wish to succeed. Having an Internet business does not mean that you can work any less than an offline one. It only allows you to work flexible hours from the comfort of your home (and in your underwear, if you wish).

So, if you are thinking of starting an Internet business, decide today: do you want to be the jack of all trades? If so, be prepared to open your eyes (and mind!) to learning new things every day! After all, isn't learning supposed to be a lifelong process?

On the other hand, if you don't want to be the jack of all trades, be prepared to open up your wallet . . . Ka-Ching!

============================================

©2003, Sean Wu

Sean Wu is the founder of http://www.moneyally.com, a newly launched website that reveals the truth about making money online.

Subscribe to his MoneyALLY Newsletter today and get as your Free gift a $159 Money-Making Starter Kit. Simply send a blank e-mail to: moneyally_ezine@ListWarrior.com



Inspiration


THE SHOES

My alarm went off . . .

It was Sunday again.
I was sleepy and tired,
My one day to sleep in.

But the guilt I would feel
So I'd go and I'd pray.
I got there and sat
In a pew just in time.

Bowing my head in prayer
As I closed my eyes,
I saw the shoe of the man next to me
Touching my own. I sighed.

With plenty of room on either side,
I thought, "Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine,
But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began: "Our Father"
I thought, "This man with the shoes has no pride.
They're dusty, worn, and scratched.
Even worse, there are holes on the side!"

Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "Amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer,
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.

Aren't we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
"Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud,
Sounding proud as he sang.

His voice lifted the rafters,
His hands were raised high,
The Lord could surely hear
The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached
Into his pockets so deep.

I saw what was pulled out,
What the shoe man put in,
Then I heard a soft "clink"
as when silver hits tin.

The sermon really bored me
To tears, and that's no lie.
It was the same for the shoe man,
For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service,
As is the custom here,
We must greet new visitors
And show them all good cheer.

But I felt moved somehow
And wanted to meet shoe man,
So after the closing prayer,
I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin was dark,
And his hair was truly a mess
But I thanked him for coming,
For being our guest.

He said, "My name's Charlie.
I'm glad to meet you, my friend."
There were tears in his eyes
But he had a large, wide grin.

Let me explain," he said
Wiping tears from his eyes.
"I've been coming here for months,
And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"

I know that my appearance
Is not like all the rest,
But I really do try
To always look my best."

I always clean and polish my shoes
Before my very long walk
But by the time I get here,
They're dirty and dusty, like chalk."

My heart filled with pain and
I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize
For daring to sit so near.

He said, "When I get here,
I know I must look a sight.
But I thought if I could touch you,
Then maybe our souls might unite."

I was silent for a moment
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison.
I spoke from my heart, not my head.

"Oh, you've touched me," I said,
"And taught me, in part,
That the best of any man
Is what is found in his heart."

The rest, I thought,
This shoe man will never know . . .
Like just how thankful I really am
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul . . .

You might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next year,
don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and
you have made a difference in my life.

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them,
and tell new friends you never will. Remember,
everyone needs a friend, and someday you might feel as if you have no friends at all.

Just remember this, and take comfort in knowing that somebody out there cares about you and always will.

May you always have Love to share, Health to spare, and Friends who care.




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