"'elf Expressions Ezine"

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'elf Expressions Ezine
Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"

Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. Guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, coaching, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

To subscribe, send blank email to:
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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 4 - Issue 4 - January 27, 2004
Published every Tuesday

Hi, everyone. Guess I need to call your attention to the Subscriber in the Spotlight, as you all are missing a great opportunity for some free publicity by failing to submit your biographical info. It needn't be long, and it can't be a blatant ad. Just tell a little about yourself, your background, education, work experience, life experiences, a little about your family, where you live, etc.

And don't miss the Darwin awards . . . they're hysterical and make you wonder how some people get through life.

In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from the ads. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them. Just go to:
http://elfexpressionsezine.com

To see my sons' fantastic new invention,
a truck caplift, which allows you to install or remove
a pick-up truck cap with no assistance, go here:
http://caplift.net

He who excuses himself accuses himself.

Contents:
Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
Feature Article
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera

Sponsor Ad

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Ad Contest

Results of last issue's ad contest, when the question was this geographical anagram challenge:
robgan, emina — relintompe, trevmon — conllin, arkansbe
hutlud, sinamonte — kilawemue, scininows
The answers: Bangor, Maine — Montpelier, Vermont — Lincoln, Nebraska — Duluth, Minnesota — Milwaukee, Wisconsin. See Fran Csaszar's ad above.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answers to the following international geographical challenge, and receive the next available top sponsor ad free. Here are the anagrams:
berbinasb, aaailrstu — aabghjnnorsu, hostu aacfir — affknrrtu, aegmnry
abgkkon, aadhilnt — acenoruvv, bhiirst abcilmou

Send to adcontest1@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your ad with your entry so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their ads published, because they did not respond with their ads in before my deadline.

Spinal Meningitis — Geographic Tongue — 60-year old Scar

The following is a testimonial for The Master's Miracle.
"I became extremely ill shortly after eating at a restaurant in January. I was then diagnosed with spinal meningitis. I had a horrible cough, sore throat, and back pain. My lungs also started closing off, and I had difficulty breathing.
"I used to be very acid, and I started using about 1 oz. of Soap and 1 oz. of Neutralizer in my bath and taking about 2 oz of Neutralizer daily to keep my pH at 6.9. I also use a nebulizer with Neutralizer twice a day to help with my pH. In six weeks time I feel about 85% better.
"I have had geographic tongue for 2-3 years. I get red blotchy sores on my tongue. I rub the Gel on my tongue and also spray Neutralizer in my mouth several times a day. The symptoms are usually gone in one day. Sixty years ago I nearly cut my hand off with an electric ripsaw. After using the products for about five months now, my sixty year-old-scar is totally gone."
—Carla Vogel

Do you have any health issues? See how you can be helped.
http://supremely.themastersmiracle.com

"Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit
the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so,
the thing would be of no practical value."
—Editorial in the Boston Post, 1865

Subscriber in the Spotlight

The first subscriber to submit his or her personal profile sharing with the rest of us all about who he/she is, background, family, location, interests, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc., will be spotlighted right here next issue—and yes, an email and/or URL may be included!

Send to readernotes@elfexpressionsezine.com

This week's Subscriber in the Spotlight is no one . . . but it could have been Y-O-U . . . if only you had submitted your info.

"There will never be a mass market for motor
cars—about 1,000 in Europe—because that is the limit
on the number of chauffeurs available!"
—Spokesman for Daimler Benz

Feature Article

Tolerance . . . Sitting Still for Anything and Standing for Nothing

The title states the whole premise of this article. And no, this isn't about marketing. It's much more important.
Is anyone else as sick as I am of those who complain that they have been "offended"?
Well, I'm going on record right here and now that I am offended by them!
Actually, not only am I offended by those complainers, but I am highly repulsed by their idiocy and lack of courtesy. Whatever happened to "live and let live"?
Back in high school (when I was not a Christian), I remember being "offended" when either school officials or another student would give an invocation or offer a short prayer at a school function (yes, we had real freedom of speech and religion back then!). I merely sat there silently but did not participate in the few moments that this was foisted upon me. I did this out of respect for the freedom that the majority enjoyed to express their beliefs, and they respected my right not to participate as well.
Proceeding in this manner allowed everyone to sit still for others to stand up for what they believed in, no problem.
This business of trying to make everyone fit into one mold is ludicrous. There never can be one world religion, because 100% of the people just will not believe the same thing, 100% of the time. And that doesn't take a genius to figure out!
Contrary to what recently altered history books say, the U.S.A. was established by mostly Christian men, who essentially agreed that all citizens should have the right to disagree (read "have different beliefs and opinions"). This country never was meant to be unanimous in anything. That is why they provided for certain majorities in the voting process. That is why the Government established the present system of checks and balances, which worked beautifully up until recent years when the judicial branch decided to usurp Congressional authority.
Liberal Supreme Court justices osmotically have overstepped their authority and implemented mandates that are, in fact, illegal!
Take down the Nativity scenes and the Ten Commandments. But issue a postage stamp in the U.S.A. honoring Islam. And whatever you do, at least if you live in California, you want to be sure that your children cheerfully submit to actively learning Islamic rites, celebrations, and customs in their public schools. But be sure that they don't take a Bible to school!
Our Government was set up to be of the people, by the people, and for the people, not for the questionable purposes of judges who arbitrarily decide what or where we should and should not be allowed to speak or act. We the people must destroy the usurpation of our rights being so flagrantly denied and convoluted by a select few.
And yet they have the nerve to call conservative Christians who adhere to their traditional values and teachings intolerant. What a double standard! These black-robed bigots should be impeached and deposed at once!

=================================================================================

Feel free to reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
http://elfexpressionsezine.com
To subscribe, email subscribe1@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe

A Bible Riddle

What Bible hero went by the name of Jerubbaal?
Answer — Gideon, as found in Judges 7:1, "Then Jerubbaal, who is Gideon . . ."

Classifieds

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for 40 minutes. Raise your pH levels with The Master's Miracle,
and allow your body to heal itself, naturally
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This is an answer to prayer for everyone!

"Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results.
I know several thousand things that won't work."
—Thomas A. Edison

Today's Chuckle

The 2004 Darwin Awards (continued from last week)

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
* * * * * * * *

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the immortal words of the would-be thief.
* * * * * * * *

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. And the whole event was caught on videotape.
* * * * * * * *

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the him. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive I.D., to which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." Duh!
* * * * * * * *

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5:00 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down, because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
* * * * * * * *

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick-up truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home, the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

Fall forward to success. "Many times I have told the people in our organization, 'If we ever decide to compare knees, you're going to find that I have more scars than anyone else in the room. That's because I have fallen down and gotten up so many times in my life.'"
—Mary Kay Ash

Today's English Lesson

Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

You'd think a person would run out of these misusages sooner or later, wouldn't you? Not so, unfortunately!
"Palate" refers to a place in the mouth.
"Pallet" refers to a wooden platform.
B-I-G difference!

=========================================================================
Reminder: We offer a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: editingservices@elfexpressionsezine.com

Today, I will win. Why? I will tell you why—because I have faith, courage and enthusiasm. I have clearly defined goals, and I will pursue them today with enthusiasm, determination and discipline. Today, I will not take advice from anyone who is more messed up than I am. Today, I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.

Internet Hints & Tips

CrossFader
This little applet produces two lines of text that overlap and fade in/out on top of each other. It's cool!
Wait for the page to fully load for you to view the applet.

http://www.resource-a-day.net/resources/applet12/
AOL users click here

Today, I will do what I fear most and thus I will control my fear. I will see failure as only a signpost on my road to success. I see every problem as an opportunity to overcome a challenge. I never take rejection personally. I am first and foremost in the people business. I realize that they can only reject my proposal, not me. I will keep on keeping on.

Guest Article

Brainstorming! The Key To Wealth
by Roy Primm

Advertising executive Alex F. Osborne first coined the word "brainstorming" in the early 1940's. Since then literally millions of ideas, products, services and solutions have been created and improved on.
Every institution from Fortune 500 companies to universities and government agencies have used the principle of brainstorming. They've use it to create everything from new ad slogans, and medical breakthroughs, to how to get your child to eat more peas.
Fact: For every product in your home or office, chances are a person or group of people brainstormed about it. They brainstormed on how best to create, market, sell, manufacture, advertise, or distribute it. This is how powerful brainstorming is.
One of the best things about brainstorming is that it can be used by anyone. You don't have to be a C.E.O or army general. You can gain from brainstorming if you're a housewife, janitor, student or unemployed.
Yes, you can use the principles of brainstorming for the largest project or the smallest project. You can use it to plan a million dollar ad campaign, or use it to plan what you'll have for dinner tonight.
If you simply follow and practice the following steps you will soon be amazed at the ideas and solutions your fabulous brain will give you.
Before we go any further lets discuss the seven steps for effective brainstorming sessions.
The 7 Magic Steps For Powerful Brainstorming Sessions!
1 — The brainstorming session can be done with one person or one hundred people. The rules are the same. The only requirement is the participants should know or know about the problem, business, product or subject of the brainstorming session.
2 — Don't use critical thinking. Critical or judgmental thinking slows down or kills the creative process at this stage. Because as hard as you may try, you can only think one thought at a time. When your creating you can't judge and when you judge you can't create.
3 — Keep the session light, loose and free spirited. Humor has been known to help oil the wheels of our creativity. A large portion of our creativity is released through our humor. Watch a comedy, or tell a few jokes before you proceed.
4 — Make sure you have a pencil and paper to write down any and all ideas, or if you're in a group, designate someone to write down the ideas.
5 — It's best to set a minimum length of time or amount of ideas you want to get out of each brainstorming session. Setting a goal helps everyone to focus; it also helps everyone avoid wandering minds.
6 — Write down the problem, the goal, or the subject at the top of a piece of paper. For example, "Ways To Attract More Customers." Next number each idea you or the group comes up with. Write down every idea, the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Remember, the goal is to get as many ideas listed on paper as possible.
7 — Next evaluate the most do-able ideas and take action.
Those are the seven tips for effective brainstorming sessions. Follow them and watch the ideas flow.

======================================================================

Roy Primm (The Niche Man) has written hundreds of articles on how to create a niche and grow rich. Read the world's largest collection of ideas for creating a money-making niche product or service . . . go to http://www.NicheBrain.com

Inspiration

A bit of wisdom with a little humor

The best way to get even is to forget . . .
Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death . . .
God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts . . .
Some folks wear their halos much too tight . . .
Some marriages are made in heaven, but they all have to be maintained on earth . . .
Unless you can create the whole universe in five days, then perhaps giving "advice" to God, isn't such a good idea!
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up . . .
A successful marriage isn't finding the right person; it's being the right person.
The tongue must be heavy, indeed, because so few people can hold it.
To forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover the prisoner was you.
You have to wonder about humans—they think God is dead and Elvis is alive!

Etcetera

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