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“Get hold of your ‘elf!”
Your weekly collection of marketing tips, hints, and advice interspersed with humor, inspiration, and other goodies to spice things up a bit. It is offered for entrepreneurs, would-be entrepreneurs, and online marketers, who need guidance, tutoring, advice, mentoring, and inspiration.
The publisher’s philosophy is that most learn faster by taking small bites, rather than large gulps. Small bites are chewed more thoroughly, swallowed, and digested more readily. Keeping that in mind, many features will be solo items. That way, you will not be bombarded or overwhelmed.
Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 1 - Issue 42 - January 8, 2002
Published every Tuesday evening
Hello, all you good people. I certainly hope you've had a better week than I have. An absolutely devestating worm virus hit me lately, which caused me to have to use my application recovery disks, which caused me to lose all my email filters, the entire contents of my address book, one of my word processing programs (and all the contents), and after several days of battling to get back up and online, I thought I'd finally gotten through it. But when I opened my email this morning, I found that the virus is still doing its dastardly work—I'm getting multiple copies of the same emails, getting thrown off line, and getting messages back telling me some of my messages are undeliverable—when I've never even sent mail to most of the addresses in question! On top of that, I've gotten several messages telling me that the messages that I DID send out were infected and that my anti-virus program had not been able to remove them, etc., etc., ad nauseum.
Now, I'm not telling you all this just to unload, but to warn everyone to be VERY careful about opening unexpected emails. Unfortunately, there is no protection that I know of against viruses being transmitted via email from those we do know. If anyone has any constructive remedies for all this, please let me know, and I'll publish it next issue, with full credit and a free plug for your program. This is war, folks!
If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more everyone benefits from their ads. Thank you!
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"It is not that I am smarter than anyone else. It's just that I stay with my problems longer." —Albert Einstein
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CONTENTS:
Ad Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
Feature Article
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera
AD CONTEST
For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor ad FREE! Here is the question:In what year did we obtain our first close-up picture of Mars?
Send to adcontest@elfexpressionsezine.com
- * The first time a man looks at an ad, he doesn't see it.
- * The second time, he doesn't notice it.
- * The third time, he is conscious of its existence.
- * The fourth time, he faintly remembers having seen it.
- * The fifth time, he reads the ad.
- * The sixth time, he turns up his nose at it.
- * The seventh time, he reads it through and says, "Oh brother!"
- * The eighth time, he says, "Here's that confounded thing again!"
- The ninth time, he wonders if it amounts to anything.
- The tenth time, he will ask his neighbor if he has tried it.
- The eleventh time, he wonders how the advertisers makes it pay.
- The twelfth time, he thinks it must be a good thing.
- The thirteenth time, he remembers that he wanted such a thing for a long time.
- The fourteenth time, he remembers again that he wanted such a thing for a long time.
- The fifteenth time, he is tantalized because he cannot afford to buy it.
- The sixteenth time, he thinks he will buy it someday.
- The seventeenth time, he makes a memorandum of it.
- The eighteenth time, he swears at his poverty.
- The nineteenth time, he counts his money carefully.
- The twentieth time he sees the ad, he buys the article or instructs his wife to do so.
—Thomas Smith, London 1885
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PAIN-FREE AT 83
I am excited to share with you what Healing America products have done for me. I have had a knee replacement, and my other knee started hurting. After taking the Baseline of Health, my knee hurts no more, and my other knee still feels great. My sinus is better, and my feet used to stay cold and numb, and now the circulation is better in my feet. They don't hurt any more. I have no more problems with diverticulitis. My hands and arms are stronger, I no longer take arthritis or blood pressure medication, and I feel great.
I could never imagine being pain-free at 83 years old and still able to do my work here at home that I did when I was younger. If I feel a cold coming on, I take Flu Buster and Immunity Plus. I just can't say enough about these wonderful products; I have tried them all; they are great.
Thanks to Healing America and all the staff for the opportunity to get acquainted with these wonderful products.
—Lee Anna Speer, Lexington TN
If you would like to see what has worked miracles in Lee Anna's life, go to: http://goodbody.healingamerica.com
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SUBSCRIBER IN THE SPOTLIGHT
The first subscriber to submit his or her personal profile sharing with the rest of us all about who he/she is, background, family, location, interests, hobbies, goals, dreams, etc., will be spotlighted right here next issue—and yes, an email and/or URL may be included! Send to readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com
This week's Subscriber in the Spotlight is Peter Sinclair, who believes that getting a little dirt on our hands would be a good thing.
My name is Peter Sinclair, and rather than go on with a lot
of hot air about myself, I'd rather invest something in your
life. If you want to know all about me, you can click on:
www.motivationalmemo.com/author.html
I was awakened the other morning by a song on the radio. The
chorus went something like this: "Get a little dirt on your
hands, boy, get a little dirt on your hands." I can't recall
the words of the rest of the song nor the writer, but what I
could gather was that it was a song that followed the path of a boy on his journey through to manhood and maturity.
The lyricist BELIEVED that in order to travel that path, you
were going to have to work hard or, in fact, get a little dirt on your hands—a lot of truth in just a few lyrics—so much so that I jumped up out of bed and wrote it down for future reference. Those words for me were of EXTREME PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE.
Some years ago I'd reached a point in my life where I needed to take charge. The end result was that my wife and I started up our own domestic cleaning business. Simply with a DECISION, a few hundred dollars for advertising, a vacuum cleaner, some cleaning fluids out of our cupboard, and a mop, we were in business.
I designed my own letterbox drop leaflet and delivered them with my wife and kids into letterboxes throughout our neighbourhood. Before we knew it, we were up and running and MAKING MONEY. My friends seemed to be AMAZED that I could do such a thing and that I had the courage to step out and take charge of my own destiny. I had no knowledge about the cleaning business, only a DESIRE to be in charge of my life and a refusal to be subject to the whims of employers or other people.
Well, I sold that business years ago, and I suppose that one small
experience is what gives my writing such authority. As a published
author of motivational books and ezines, I inspire my readers to
become better, to do better, and to achieve more in every area
of their lives. I've set myself a HIGH standard for my own writing
by stating that "Quality Motivational Content is Paramount!" I firmly
believe that, if you can change your thinking, you can change your life!
I write to inspire change in my readers.
For your FREE subscription e-mail: subscribe@motivationalmemo.com or check out my website at www.motivationalmemo.com. I've got enough DIRT for two of us on my hands, so I might just save yours from getting too DIRTY.
—Peter Sinclair
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This world is run by words—but it is NOT run by linguists! NO! The words that run the world are simple, powerful, and dynamic—living words that evoke emotions and action.
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FEATURE ARTICLE
How to Deal with a Cranky, Complaining Customer
The very simplest—and most effective way—is to agree with him.
Listen quietly and attentively to what he says.
Then throw him off his line of attack by agreeing with him—by showing that you completely understand his frustration.
His attack will lose all momentum.
But all you will be doing is letting him know that you understand his position totally.
This is where the satisfaction factor comes in. And that's all he really wants.
Bend over backwards for him—he’ll end up being a customer for life!
Why this works is, because once your support his position, the wind is taken out of his sails, and he is just drifting on the calm sea, waiting to hear how you are going to give him the satisfaction he seeks.
Then he is a breeze to deal with.
At that point, you can offer him a full refund, or a complete replacement of the product in question, or just a friendly explanation of why the condition in question is the way it is.
At this point, you are allowing him to see things from your viewpoint, and you have established a relationship.
And, because of your understanding attitude toward his problems, you've created an atmosphere for a solid working relationship to blossom.
And solid relationships, my friend, is what it's all about.
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Feel free to reprint the above article with this info intact: Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine: http://elfexpressionsezine.com
To subscribe, email me at subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com
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A BIBLE RIDDLE
In the story of the "Good Samaritan," where was the traveler GOING TO when set upon by robbers and left for dead?
ANSWER: Jericho. (Luke 10:30) "And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead."
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Pre-treat grease and oil stains on clothes—with Easy-Off oven cleaner. I've used it as a laundry treatment. It seems to remove any type of grease or oil stain from clothing. Just spray, wait a few seconds, and throw into the washing machine. Works great!
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TODAY'S CHUCKLE
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Daggone, and that's the only time i have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??? ...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well ... duh, a bit late, huh?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(... and you thought???? ...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and ... I'm taking this because??? ...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to ... what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh ... fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even a chuckle) ... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
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The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete
promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
—Bill Cosby
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TODAY'S ENGLISH LESSON
Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue.
This week I've chosen to explain the difference between "choose" and "chose."
"Choose" is the present tense. It is used to make a choice.
"Chose" is the past tense. It means something already has been chosen.
There is no such word as "choosen"! Realizing this will help you make the right choice between the first two.
It is only as we develop others that we permanently succeed. —Harvey S. Firestone
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INTERNET HINTS & TIPS
The world can be grasped only by action, not by contemplation. The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.
—Jacob Bronowski
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A weary traveller sat down to rest in the shade of a tree, not knowing that the tree he chose was magic: "The Wish-Granting Tree."
Seated on the hard ground, he thought how pleasant it would
be find himself in a soft bed. Instantly, a bed appeared before
him. Astonished, the man climbed onto the bed, thinking that
the height of happiness would be to find a young beautiful girl
by his side, massaging his sore legs. Instantly, a young girl
appeared and began massaging him.
"I'm so hungry," the man said to himself. "Having something
to eat now would be a great pleasure." Instantly a table appeared
laden with a delicious feast.
The man rejoiced and began eating and drinking to his heart's
content. His head spun a little and his eyelids grew heavy as
the wine took effect. He stretched out on the bed, thinking about
the wonderful events that had taken place on that extraordinary
day.
"I'll sleep for an hour or two," he thought. "The worst that
could happen would be if a tiger wandered by while I'm asleep."
Instantly a tiger appeared and devoured the poor man.
You have a magic tree inside you, waiting to grant your wishes.
But be careful! The same tree can also make your negative thoughts
and fears come true. At the very least it will be influenced by
your negative thoughts, so that the good things you wish for do
not happen.
That's what worrying can do.
I wish with all my heart that you lead a life free of worry,
negative thoughts and fear, in the shade and comfort of your
personal Wish-Granting Tree.
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GUEST ARTICLE
Have You Ever Heard Of David Braden?
By John Colanzi
I'll bet you've never heard of David Braden. He's not the type of teenager that makes the national news.
It's sad, but true, that bad news travels the globe before good
news even has its shoes on.
Well, I hope, after reading about David, you'll see the power of
setting a specific goal, followed by unwavering commitment.
You see, young David had a goal, actually more than a goal, he had
what Napoleon Hill calls a burning desire.
What was David's goal?
This young man from Goose Creek, South Carolina wanted to lead
the Boston Pops Orchestra.
There was one small catch. The Boston Pops required $10,000
before they would let an amateur conduct their orchestra.
I'm sure that this story would have ended here for the average
daydreamer, but remember David had that burning desire and was
willing to overcome any obstacle to reach his goal.
What obstacles are holding you back? I know some of the excuses
I've had over the years weren't as large as the $10,000 fee that
stood in David's way.
David decided to make some sacrifices and move full speed ahead.
He not only continued going to school full time, he worked three
jobs after school hours. He gave up the parties with his friends.
He decided he didn't need the car that most of his peers prized.
He was on a mission and nothing would stand in his way.
After months of working day and night and doing without, David
could save only $5,000. Was our young hero finished?
Not by a long shot!
He contacted the Boston Pops and arranged to give them $5,000
and the rest of his fee on his word.
The fateful day arrived, and proud as a peacock, young David
realized his dream of conducting the Boston Pops Orchestra.
After seeing how determined this young man was and the single
minded way in which he pursued his goal, the Orchestra waived the
other half of his fee, and in an unheard of gesture, returned his
original $5,000 deposit.
So who is David Braden?
He's a young man who can teach us all the power of burning desire
backed by unwavering commitment.
The next time I'm tempted to make an excuse for not reaching my
goal, I'll think of David and stick in there just a little longer.
Wishing You Success,
John Colanzi
©2001 John Colanzi. John publishes the "Street Smart Marketing" newsletter. To subscribe mailto:ezmailer-subscribe@listbot.com
New Release! The Self-Publisher's Opportunity Pack. 10 of the
internet's hottest selling ebooks with Full Resale Rights.
http://johncolanzi.com/opportunity.html
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AT YEAR END, HERE'S WHAT MOST ARE DOING ON THE NET!
America's Research Co. has made these stats available from
recent surveys, which give entrepreneurs an idea of what people on the Net are really looking for:
- To do personal research 54.2%
- To send and receive E-mail 51.6%
- To do research for business purposes 42.6%
- To look up information on products 42.2%
- To research children's homework assignments 34.4%
- To obtain health information 31.9%
- To check on local and national news 31.4%
- To play games 30%
- To locate people's names and addresses 28.7%
- To keep up-to-date on the latest technology 28.4%
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INSPIRATION
The Impact Of One Man's Unfailing Enthusiasm and
Industriousness
As a young man, Elzea Bufier owned a small farm. His life revolved around his land, his wife, and his only son. He worked hard
as a farmer and was quite content with his simple, peaceful life.
Tragically, he lost his son and then his wife to sudden illnesses.
Unable to bear the thought of staying on his farm without them, he
decided to search for a place of solitude. With only his dog
and a small flock of twenty or so sheep to keep him company, he walked
for weeks far into the high country.
Finally, he came to a spot as desolate as any in France. As he looked for a place to set up his home, he saw occasional evidence that people had once been nearby. A few scattered ruins of ancient stone dwellings, long ago deserted, dotted the barren landscape.
It was in one of these ancient buildings, set off by itself, that he decided to live. The nearest village was more than two days' walk away. In complete isolation he set about shepherding, determined to live a quiet and peaceful life.
Though deeply hurt by the loss of his family, Elzea was a good and
giving man at heart. He decided that in his own quiet way, he would dedicate himself to somehow making a difference. As he looked about at the barren and desolate highlands, he formed the opinion that the land was drying for lack of trees. Only an occasional white oak stood in that forlorn landscape as far as the eye could see. He set out to remedy the bleakness of the land by planting trees.
As he herded his little flock throughout the day, he collected the
acorns he found from the few sparse oaks that dotted the countryside. Each night after eating his soup, he meticulously selected the very best one hundred acorns and set them in a small pail of water. The next day he carried them with him as he walked with his sheep.
For a walking stick he used an iron rod, about the circumference of his thumb and the height of his shoulder. When he found a suitable place for the sheep to rest, he left them in the care of his dog and hiked up a little higher into the hills. There he stopped and, with great care, dug a hole with his iron rod and planted a little acorn.
In this way, each day Elzea Bufier planted one hundred new oak
trees. Beginning in the year 1910, in three years he had planted
one hundred thousand trees. Of these, only twenty thousand would root
and sprout. And of these twenty thousand, only half would survive and grow into tall oaks. Yet, even with this small percentage of his efforts producing the results he sought, ten thousand oak trees appeared where before there had been nothing.
When the First World War began, Elzea was fifty-five years old.
His simple, active life had kept him strong andhealthy. He
was unaffected by the war, high above the fighting and destruction. He kept on with planting, day after day, year after year.
In time, Elzea decided to stop herding sheep, because the lambs
trampled on his baby trees. Instead, he began to raise bees, for
they would help to spread the new and wondrous life his tireless
efforts were creating. As the war came to a close, several of the
oaks now stood taller than he.
On his very rare trips to the distant village for supplies, he traded his honey for beechnuts and birch seeds. He had spent so much time wandering over the land that surrounded his home that he had come to know the spots where subterranean water flowed close to the surface of the ground. He believed that beech and birch trees would flourish in these spots. He was right.
Elzea Bufier continued his quiet planting until the day he died.
For thirty-seven years he had planted at least one hundred trees each day. As his trees grew, nature amplified his miracle. The wind lifted and deposited more seeds which, in turn, drew more moisture and nourished the soil. Where once there had been only desolation, now there stood a magnificent forest with flowing steams, teeming with new life.
The French Forestry Bureau set aside much of this miracle forest as protected lands. In place of the deserted ruins, new villages with children, schools, and prosperous farms sprang up. By the time Bufier died peacefully in 1947, more than ten thousand people had moved into his forest.
Elzea Bufier gave the world a great gift. His special brand of
service was very quiet and unpretentious. He wanted no credit. But his unrelenting enthusiasm and tireless industriousness created a
virtual miracle. He lived and died with the peace of mind of
knowing he had given his best.
The story of Elzea Bufier demonstrates the immense impact a single
individual can create through unfailing enthusiasm and consistent industriousness.
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ETCETERA
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Contact publisher at:
elfbutter@erinet.com
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To subscribe, send email to: subscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com. To unsubscribe, send email to:unsubscribe@elfexpressionsezine.com To submit an article for publication or to make suggestions or comments, just email me at readermail@elfexpressionsezine.com
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