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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone and everyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 5 - Issue 39 - December 6, 2005
Published every Tuesday


Welcome, readers. Beginning in this issue, I plan to include from time to time, a feature called "The Soap Box," which will be used by guests and publisher alike to rant and rave about whatever. It won't run every week, just as the occasion arises. And I'd like some feedback on this, as it is probably going to be very controversial and may offend some.

And that's okay, because we're all offended by many things in life. Conversely, we all need to recognize that we should not run out and try to create a new law every time someone or some faction gets offended. And I'm certainly not going to forfeit my right to free speech for fear that it might offend someone.


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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The powers that be are ordained of God.

—Romans 13:1



Contents:

Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
The Soap Box
Memories
Inspiration
Etcetera


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Ad Contest


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Most men believe that it would benefit them if
they could get a little from those who have more.

How much more it would benefit them if they
would learn a little from those who have more.

—William J. Boeteker



A Healthier You


Did You Know . . . ?

Nearly two-thirds of women with osteoporosis are Vitamin D deficient?

The top five staples in American kitchens are eggs, sugar(!), flour, peanut butter, and black pepper?

Americans eat more than 700 million pounds of peanut butter every year?

According to CDC statistics, more than one in three Americans used some type of non-conventional medicine last year?

One in twenty hospitalized patients contract a serious infection in U.S. hospitals, and 90,000 of them die from it? (We have to assume this is speaking annually.)

High homocysteine and low folic acid levels are linked with increased risk of memory loss?

Sleep deprivation of medical residents impairs performance as much as drinking alcohol?

Humans are born with over 300 bones? As we mature, some of these bones fuse together, for a total number of 206 in an adult.

Of all living organisms, only man, gorillas, fruit-eating bats, and guinea pigs lack the capacity to produce ascorbic acid (Vitamin C)?

Kids average 6-10 colds a year, adults 2-4, and people over 60 fewer than one?

Each year, more than 40 million in-patient and 30 million out-patient surgeries are performed in the U.S.?

The above were taken from Dr. Julian Whitaker's "Health & Healing" newsletter.





Bible Riddle
(Scroll down for answer.)

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?



Feature Article


Are Your "Fleas" in a Jar?

What limitations are you putting on yourself, and why?

Usually, we are limited only by our imaginations and our beliefs.

Everyone knows that, if you think you can, you can . . . and if you think you can't, you're also right.

Our limitations are often self imposed. Remember the admonition from the Bible, "Where there is no vision, the people perish . . . " Proverbs 29:18.

"Vision" is defined in the dictionary as: Unusual competence in discernment or perception, or intelligent foresight. Or, it is the manner in which one sees or conceives of something. Or, it is envisioning a mental image produced by the imagination. Or, it is the mystical experience of seeing the supernatural, beyond normal vision.

What many fail to realize is that we also impose limitations on ourselves by habit!

We get used to going to a certain point and stopping. Just like fleas in a jar that keep jumping up against the lid until one day you can remove the lid, and they'll stay in the jar, because the habit of jumping up and hurting themselves against the lid has ingrained in them to go only so far—limitation by habit.

Isn't that what happens to us also? During the course of our lives, we get accustomed to going only to certain points and staying within certain parameters. We do that because, to move beyond those checkpoints would require risk and maybe hold some pain for us.

So we stay in our self-imposed ruts to avoid losing our comfort zones.

Did you know that humans, in general, are more afraid of losing the little that they have, rather than taking a leap of faith to gain something far better? It's true!

Remember the Israelites, as Moses was trying to lead them to the promised land. They complained that they would rather be back in bondage in Egypt (where they at least had cucumbers, leeks, onions, and garlic) than to be stuck out there in the desert with all that boring old manna. They couldn't see beyond their noses and had no patience (faith) to hold on to the end.

When you are trying to sell a product, if you couch your offer in terms of loss, rather than gain (emphasize what they risk losing, instead of what they will gain), you're far more likely to appeal to the prospect! This has been proven time and again.

So take the lid off. Take the scales off your eyes, as it were, step out in faith, and go beyond where you've ever gone before.

=========================================================

You may reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Question — How many of Jesus' brothers wrote books of the Bible?

Answer — Two, James and Jude. See Matthew 13:55.



Classifieds


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They can normally close with cash in 60 days if the price is right, as they are seeking only homes that can be bought below market. After agreeing on a price, they can send a contract in 24 hours.

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Sincerely,
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"I will persist until I suceed
Always will I take another step.
If that is of no avail I will take another . . .
And yet another!"

—Og Mandino



Today's Chuckle


The Ten Commandments—Texas Style

People down in Texas have trouble with all those "shalls" and "shall nots" in the Ten Commandments.

Texas folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So some folks out in west Texas got together and translated the "King James" into "King Ranch" language:

The Cowboy's Ten Commandments
(posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas)

1 — Just one God.
2 — Honor yer Ma & Pa.
3 — No tellin' tales or gossipin'.
4 — Git yourself to Sunday meetin'.
5 — Put nothin' before God.
6 — No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
7 — No killin.'
8 — Watch yer mouth.
9 — Don't take what ain't yers.
10 — Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think?

Y'all have a good day.





Every morning in Africa, A gazelle wakes up. It knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed.

Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows that it must outrun the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death.

It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle!

When the sun comes up, you had better start running!



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

This one concerns the misuse of apostrophes. Apostrophes are never used with simple plurals. Very often, appallingly, more and more people—for some unknown reason—see fit to inject an apostrophe before the "s" at the end of simple plurals.

This makes absolutely no sense at all.

Apostrophes are used to pluralize dates, acronyms, and single letters, as in 1960's (1960s is also correct), GI's (GIs is also correct), two t's, etc.

Other than the above, apostrophes have absolutely nothing to do with plurals, dear people, except in the possessive sense. An apostrophe is used to indicate a possessive, nothing more, nothing less.

There is an exception, however (isn't there always?). Apostrophes also sometimes indicate the omission of a letter in the middle of a word, such as, "Top o' the mornin' to you!" Another example of omission is where an apostrophe appears to create a contraction, as in "you're" for "you are."

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Every moment you spend observing an object
of attention that is of a resistant nature,
you hold yourself in that resistant pattern.

—Deepak Chopra



Internet Hints & Tips


12 Things You Should Know When Starting an Online Business

Having your own business is the American dream. It's an escape from the day-to-day job that we hate or the boss who drives us crazy.

For many of us, having that dream was fairly unattainable until the birth of the Internet. E-commerce is an exploding business that is turning out new netrepreneurs every day. People have quit their jobs and dedicated their off hours to starting that dream.

It's an attainable goal for anyone, but it does require careful planning and consideration.

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Work while you have the light.
You are responsible for the talent
that has been entrusted to you.

—Henri-Frederic Amiel



Guest Article



Afloat in A Sea of Abundance
by Rebecca Fine

In the days of the mighty sailing ships, when brave souls voyaged into the unknown, dependent on the winds and their as-yet incomplete knowledge of geography and navigation, one of the greatest and most dangerous challenges was to traverse the area known as "the doldrums."

Extending about 30 degrees on either side of the equator, the doldrums are subject to days, weeks, even months of no wind at all. After a long and difficult crossing from Europe to South America, lying becalmed in the doldrums—with no land in sight and with the ship's supply of fresh water dwindling—was a terrible and life-threatening situation.

But history and legend offer us some fascinating insights into the power of our own thinking and belief. Back then no one had yet figured out how to determine longitude, although latitude was easily calculated. So if you could not see recognizable land, you could only know in what band of latitude you currently were. Exactly where you were in that ring around the earth was, at that time, unknowable.

And so it happened that at times a ship would fetch up off the coast of South America, out of sight of shore, fresh water supplies exhausted and death knocking at the door. Then, with what must have been the sweetest sound those sailors could ever have hoped for, the lookout would suddenly call out that a ship was approaching in the distance.

Once the ship was within hailing distance, the cry went up: "Water! Give us water!"

And the reply would come back, "Lower your buckets over the side."

You see, although the sailors didn't know it, they were afloat in a virtual river of drinkable and life-sustaining water flowing from the mouth of the powerful Amazon River, which carries nearly 20 percent of all the earth's runoff water into the sea with such force that the fresh (or brackish but safe) water flows as far as 100 miles out into the Atlantic.

The sailors, dying of thirst, only thought they were experiencing lack. The reality was that they were afloat in a literal sea of abundance. Exactly what they needed was within their reach the whole time, but the appearance of scarcity and their belief in that appearance threatened to overpower them.

They could have died—and many certainly did—believing in lack while surrounded by abundance.

In his amazing 1910 forgotten classic, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles writes:

"I have said that people get rich by doing things in a certain way, and in order to do so, people must become able to think in a certain way.

"A person’s way of doing things is the direct result of the way he thinks about things.

"To do things in the way you want to do them, you will have to acquire the ability to think the way you want to think. This is the first step toward getting rich.

"And to think what you want to think is to think truth, regardless of appearances.

A couple of months ago, my friend Teresa Romain, of Access Abundance (http://www.accessabundance.com), wrote in my ezine, The Certain Way, about how Galileo changed the world by looking at things from a new perspective. By dropping the prevailing attitude that the sun revolved around the earth, he was able to see that the opposite was, in fact, the truth.

The key to finding the truth, she noted, was choosing to cast off the old notion and look at the situation anew, through a new lens. Teresa wrote:

"The path that lies before you is one of unlimited abundance. And it begins by seeing the abundance available all around you.

"As you begin to experience life through the new lens of abundance, you'll find that many of the problems you face today will simply disappear. As for the ones that remain, your relationship to them will have changed profoundly, empowering you to take actions that are congruent with and support abundance."

What old beliefs, what old ways of looking, seeing, and perceiving do YOU need to cast off right now, my friend? If you find yourself "in the doldrums," how can you take a fresh look today and begin to see the abundance that surrounds YOU so that you are empowered — not becalmed and hopeless?

The choice is always available. If you have chosen unwisely before, remember that every moment is new and the great power lies in your ability to choose again, no matter the appearances and no matter what it seems everyone else thinks or does.

Teresa says that this choice "is the path that leads, ultimately, to the fulfillment of your dreams." Mr. Wattles says this choice is "the first step toward getting rich."

And, bearing in mind those long-ago sailors, I would add that this choice can be the ultimate choice—for death or for life itself.

That choice, every moment, is yours. Which way do you choose—right now?

©2001, Certain Way Productions

===========================================================

Rebecca Fine is the founder of The Science of Getting Rich Network where you can download your free copy of the amazing 1910 forgotten classic, The Science of Getting Rich. http://www.scienceofgettingrich.net



The Soap Box


George Carlin on New Orleans

Been sitting here with my a-- in a wad, wanting to speak out about the b-----t going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans . . . First, we would like to say, "Sorry for your loss." With that said, Let's go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

1 — A mandatory evacuation means just that . . . Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out . . . if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

2 — If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

2a — If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's, and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

2b — If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff . . . it's theirs, not yours.

3 — If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumba-- who didn't leave when told to do so.

4 — If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them, and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans—find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them.)

5 — My tax money should not pay to rebuild a $2 million house, a sports stadium, or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand, would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

6 — Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The U.S. Government didn't create the hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans. (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America.) The U.S. Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane. (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years.)

7 — The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring. Get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living. President Kennedy said it best . . . "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

You're welcome, George. And your publisher would like to state that, although I'm far from what you'd call a fan of Mr. Carlin's, he has expressed, in his own inimitable way, the consensus of a lot of people, at least the ones I've heard from.

And I've also heard things like:

1 — A prospective employer sent a rep to the Superdome and offered to give $11/hour jobs to many people. The only one who wanted one was one single woman! The others all ignored the rep!

2 — Many were handed $2,000 in cash by our government and were seen blowing it in liquor stores; many others took their dole and managed to get themselves to expensive stores and blew it on over-priced clothes and hats.

Agree or disagree, you are invited to contribute your input on this article.

===================================================================================





Answer to Bible Riddle:

Ruth-less.



Memories


All I Ever Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.

Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox in kindergarten, these are the things I learned:

Share everything. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life.

Learn some and think some; and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day.

Take a nap every afternoon. Watch for traffic. Hold hands and stick together.

Remember the seed in the plastic cup— the roots go down, and the plant goes up. Nobody really knows how or why, but we are like that.

Goldfish, hamsters, and white mice die, and even the little seed in the plastic cup— they all die—and so do we.

Think what a better world it would be if we all—the whole world—had cookies and milk at three o'clock and then lie down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation to always put things back and cleaned up our messes.

And it is still true. No matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it's best to hold hands and stick together.




Inspiration


A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile. They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pile-up on 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about, "and blood was everywhere,"
The sirens screamed out eulogies, for death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car, was heard above the noise.
Her plaintive plea nearly split the air: "Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands. She struggled to get free.
But mangled metal held her fast in grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focussed on where the back seat once had been.
But all she saw was broken glass and two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen; she did not hear them cry.
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "Oh, God, don't let them die!"

Then firemen came and cut her loose, but when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys, but the seatbelts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad and was traveling alone,
But when they turned to question her, they discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild and screaming above the noise.
In beseeching supplication, "Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts; their jeans are blue to match."
One cop spoke up, "They're in my car," and they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there and gave them each a cone;
Then told them both to wait for Mom to come and take them home.

"I've searched the area high and low," but I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene, I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said, "While wiping at a tear,"
"He could not flee the scene, you see, for he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked, "Now, how can that be true?
The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came and left a kiss for you.

"He told us not to worry and that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with the pretty, flashing light.

"We wanted him to stay with us, because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight and said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand and told us not to fuss,
And he said to tell you, Mommy, he's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt that what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words, "I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain the twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed, in print so very fine,
"An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109."




Etcetera

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