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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone and everyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 6 - Issue 29 - August 8, 2006
Published every Tuesday


Welcome, all. With each day that passes, I am more and more convinced that the only hope for this country (the U.S.A.) and the world is our Lord.

Many are doing commendable things to try to alleviate the various issues, but so many are seemingly unsolvable that we are going to be forced to depend upon Divine intervention. (That's what God has been waiting for all along—for us to depend on Him.)

Don't get me wrong—I remain a "cockeyed optimist"—but something somewhere has gotta give!

Meanwhile, I hope you all enjoy this issue.


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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I am blessed in the city, blessed in the field,
blessed when I go in and blessed when I go out!

—Deuteronomy 28:3,6



Contents:

Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


Sponsor Ad


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Visit: http://www.DaddyResource.com/elf

— A Practical Resource to Help Dads Grow.

Thanks for your time.
William E. Petersen


Ad Contest


Results of our last ad contest, when the question was: The English alphabet originally had only 24 letters. Now it has 26. Of the 26 letters, which was the last letter to be added to the alphabet? The answer — The English-language alphabet originally had only 24 letters. One missing letter was "J," which was the last letter to be added to the alphabet. The second to the last to be added to the alphabet was "U." See William Petersen's ad above.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor ad free. So answer this:

Where can you find the world's shortest river?

Send to contest@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your ad with your entry so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their ads published, because they did not respond with their ads in before my deadline.





Everything that irritates us about others can
lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

—Carl Jung



A Healthier You


[Note —This will be rather short today, as I am running way behind.]

But I did wish to let you know about a new book I'm reading, all about fat "switches."

It seems that there are a number of little things we can do to rev up our metabolism to burn fat throughout the day and night.

For instance, one is to sip ice water whenever you think about it. Many times, thirst is mistaken for hunger, and we'll grab a snack, when ice cold water would have done the trick. Try it next time you think you're hungry.

After you've sipped about 17 ounces, wait 5-10 minutes and see if your hunger hasn't been quenched.

Will share some more about this fascinating book next week.





If you can solve your problem,
then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it,
then what is the use of worrying?

—Shantideva



Feature Article


The Ugly American

The title is from the book by that name, and although the phrase "ugly American" is invoked to embody America's incompetent, heavy-handed foreign policy, it also can be attributed to many in other countries who have been exposed firsthand to the individual ugly American.

I am referring to those American tourists who reflect an attitude rife with pomposity, arrogance, and self importance. Although not officially American Government representatives, they nonetheless may be the only yardstick by which American citizens in general are measured by others.

However, at least up until the last decade or so, at least Americans were dressed decently and appeared to be clean.

What brought this all home to me lately is having tuned in to several of Billy Graham's crusades from the past. Watching the people come out of their seats for the altar call, I was struck by the stark contrast between the appearance of those Americans back then and those of today.

Everyone appeared to be well groomed, clean, and neatly dressed. There was no evidence of ugly tattooes, weird body piercings, outrageous hairstyles, clothing with large holes, trousers dragging the ground, or women with half of their bodies exposed. And very few of the people I saw from years ago appeared to be obese.

And this was just ten to twenty years ago. And this generation likes to think of itself as progressive? Duh!

As my husband's mother used to say, "You can be poor, but you don't have to be dirty. Soap and water don't cost that much."

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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Question — Why was David denied the privilege of building the temple?

Answer — David was a fighting man, a "man of blood."

"But the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 'You have shed much blood and have made great wars; you shall not build a house for My name because you have shed much blood on the earth in My sight.' " (1 Chronicles 22:8)



Classifieds


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Tips, tools, products, step by step up this
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A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.

—William Arthur Ward



Today's Chuckle


Oh, mother . . .

Phone rings.
Mother — picks up the phone and answers . . . "Hello?"
Daughter — Hi, Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Mother — You're going out?
Daughter — Yes.
Mother — With whom?
Daughter — With a friend.
Mother — I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good        man.
Daughter — I didn't leave him. He left me!
Mother — You let him leave you, and now you go out with        anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter — I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the        kids?
Mother — I never left you to go out with anybody except your        father.
Daughter — There are lots of things that you did and I don't.
Mother — What are you hinting at?
Daughter — Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over        tonight.
Mother — You're going to stay the night with him? What will your        husband say if he finds out?
Daughter — My ex husband. I don't think he would be bothered.        From the day he left me, he's probably never slept alone!
Mother — So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?
Daughter — He's not a loser.
Mother — A man who goes out with a divorced woman with        children is a loser and a parasite.
Daughter — I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or        not?
Mother — Poor children with such a mother . . .
Daughter — Enough, please!
Mother — Don't scream at me.
Daughter — Goodbye, Mother . . .
Mother — Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?
Daughter — I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!
Mother — If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?





The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field—and keep on doing it.

—Wilfred A. Peterson



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

Okay, here we go with those pesky and unnecessary apostrophes again. We all need to learn that the following words never contain apostrophes:

yours — ours — its (unless you're using the contraction of "it is") —

Plus, it boggles my mind why people insist on adding apostrophes to words intended to be plural, such as "end" or "for interviewee's to sell" or "system of the Navajo's" or "over other's by owning" or "use storie's to." (By the way, I took the foregoing directly from a certain ezine, which shall remain nameless!)

Most plurals are made by simply adding "s"—no apostrophe needed—puh-leeze!

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Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.



Internet Hints & Tips


Avoid These Web Site Design and Writing No-Nos

Is your website doomed before it even gets off the ground? A badly-designed web site can turn off potential customers before they even think about buying your product. Here are some web site design mistakes that you should avoid.

Get the rest of this most excellent article by Ronald Gibson at

http://tinyurl.com/r3jpj





Winston Churchill was born in a
ladies' room during a dance.



Guest Article



How to Earn Money from Your Web Site or Blog
by Titus Hoskins

One of the most often asked questions from novice webmasters is: How do I monetize my site? How do I earn an income from my site or blog?

The solution is quite simple, yet the effectiveness (read how much you will make) can be very complex and complicated. There are so many factors involved; it is more than just throwing a few banners or text ads on your site. Those factors will greatly determine how much income you will derive from your blogs or sites.

Maybe it is better to start from the very beginning, before you even start to build your site or blog. The first fact that you have to realize is that the Internet is run by search engines. There are exceptions, but for the most part the search engines will determine how many visitors your site will receive.

And to simplify things further, by search engines, read Google. Mainly because Google will deliver the majority of your traffic. MSN and Yahoo will deliver traffic, but not in the numbers Google will.

Next, while the Internet is run by these search engines, its powered by keywords. Understand this fact fully, and your life as a struggling webmaster will be over.

Keywords and keyword phrases are what people place in the search engines when they're searching for information or searching for a product to buy. Obviously, keywords are the source of your online income; they're the building blocks of any income from your site. Therefore, you have to choose your keywords carefully. You need ones that people are using and searching for on the Web.

Use resources like Wordtracker.com or Overture.com to find the best keywords. One excellent resource is www.nichebot.com. It will not only give you the number of searches made for any given keyword, but it will also give you the ratio of numbers of sites to exact keyword phrases, i.e., it will give you the amount of competition for your keywords. You can proceed or act accordingly. The lower the ratio, the better chance you have of placing your site on the first page SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages).

Getting on those pages will be your first step in really monetizing your site or blog. You can do yourself a big favor by placing your main keyword phrase in the title of your domain. For example, if you have a site on gaming laptops, place those keywords somewhere in the title of your site or blog.

In your content or web pages, always construct or create pages around keywords that have a product attached. For example, if you have a page entitled "Best Gaming Laptops," more than likely your visitors will be searching for the best gaming laptops to buy. Monetizing your site will then only be a matter of finding affiliate programs to match this keyword phrase (high end gaming laptop manufacturers). Or placing Google Adsense text or image ads on this page. Another popular alternative to Adsense is the new upstart, Chitika eMiniMalls, with interactive/search/product review banner ads.

Another good strategy is to pick affiliate products that are high paying, where just one click can result in $100 or more. Where to find these affiliate products? Some top general affiliate programs are Amazon, Commission Junction, LinkShare, Clickbank—all these reputable programs list thousands of products that sell well online. These programs will also send your checks out on time!

Once you have this simple system worked out: high searched for keyword + low ratio competition + matching affiliate link or banner = $$$

You will be well on your way to monetizing your site or blog. Look for popular unexplored niche areas for your content or web pages, and you will increase your earnings. Try out different keywords and see which ones develop into an income stream on your site. Explore the successful ones with variations of your main keyword. Example — "Gaming Laptops U.K." Then get affiliate products to match these variant keyword phrases.

It is a simple formula you can follow time and time again, with all your keywords.

There are countless ways to monetize your site or blog, but trying the system described above will give you a head-start on your competition. Perfect this system, and you will be on your way to becoming one of those much talked about success stories on the Web. Better yet, you can remain totally anonymous, and quietly earn an income from your web pages day after day. Keep everyone guessing and wondering just what's putting that smile on your face?

©2006, Titus Hoskins

===========================================================

The author operates numerous sites on the web, a general Internet Marketing site http://www.bizwaremagic.com, and a Marketing Tool Guide where you can find helpful and effective marketing tools, including Free Internet Marketing manuals: http://tinyurl.com/k6fkw. This article may be freely distributed if this resource box stays attached.





China has one third of the world's bicycles.



Inspiration


If I Ran the World . . .

Ever tell someone what you would do if you ran the world? There is an old song, part of which goes, "If I ran the world . . . there'd be no trouble and no strife, just a big happy life."

Well, you can shape history by interceding in the governments and decisions and lives of others in prayer!

It's totally true! We have absolutely awesome power through prayer in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

The moment you realize this fact, your prayer life will take on new dimensions. It will become vital, alive, and exciting!

No longer are we locked into influencing just our own little corners of this gigantic world. No! We can, in fact, reach around the globe and embrace whoever or whatever we choose. Isn't that a mind boggling thought?

I just finished reading "Intercession: Thrilling and Fulfilling," by Joy Dawson. I cannot remember just how I came to have this brand new copy, but I pulled it out a couple of weeks ago, and all I can say is "wow"!

This wonderful lady has opened up a whole new world to me. Of course, having been a Christian for some seventeen years, I had heard of intercession, but I guess it just had never sunk into this thick cranium as to the marvelous activity that it really is.

I could go on and on, but what I'm going to do instead is to recommend that you go out and get a copy and experience it for yourself. (I could never describe it adequately enough anyway.)

And then let me know how that book affects your prayer life. You really are in for a thrill!




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