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Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone and everyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 6 - Issue 9 - March 7, 2006
Published every Tuesday


Good day to all, and welcome to all our new subscribers.

Readers, I have to tell you this, in case you're wondering. You may recall that, back in January, two weeks after I began taking Himalayan Goji Juice, I reported a large increase in energy and a noticeable increase in my spirits being uplifted.

A week later, I reported that my blood pressure had gone down from 146/88 to 131/85, and my pulse had been reduced from 95 to 85. And I took my measurements after 2.5 weeks of drinking Goji and had lost 5-7/8 inches off my waist, hips, and "love handles"!

All of that was true. Trouble is, six weeks later I see no additional results. I have not regained any inches, and my energy level and my uplifted spirits remain high. But I seem to have reached a plateau and have not seen any additional pounds or inches come off; that is why I haven't mentioned anything more about it since.

However, Goji was not presented to me primarily as a vehicle to drop weight, although I had high hopes, because many have experienced dramatic results in this area. I still highly recommend the juice, but I do not have any severe health conditions to report an improvement in, as so many others do. Take a look.


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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". . . but the people who do know their God shall be strong and do exploits."

—Daniel 11:32



Contents:

Sponsor Ad
Ad Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


Sponsor Ad


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Ad Contest


Results of last issue's ad contest, when the question was: There is a name for phobic fear of darkness. What is it?

Answer — achluophobia—at least, that's the answer that I had. I have since learned that there are several other terms for this same phobia, but Ron Clark was first in. See his ad above.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor ad free. So answer this:

What are the most expensive shoes in the world?

Send to contest@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your ad with your entry so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their ads published, because they did not respond with their ads in before my deadline.





People are like teabags. You don't know how
strong they really are until they're in hot water.



A Healthier You


A Book Like No Other

My dear readers, seldom in a person's lifetime does there come along a book that makes such a profound difference in your life that you just cannot keep quiet about it. You itch to tell everyone you know. I've just started reading such a book. In fact, I'm only on page 58.

But I want to tell you that this book has me fired up, boiling mad, and excited to the point that I made a speech last night (to myself) as I was trying to get to sleep after spending all afternoon yesterday reading it and listening to the accompanying discs that I ordered along with it.

Besides the Bible, this book is one of the best selling books of all time. It is making its author a household name and is upsetting the apple carts of the mainstream media, the Food & Drug Administration, the Federal Trade Commission, food manufacturers, pharmaceutical companies, the medical community, lobbyists in Washington, members of Congress, plus many trade associations.

By now you've probably guessed the title: "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About" by Kevin Trudeau.

Folks, in my opinion, this young man is fast becoming the next Ralph Nader, blowing his whistle to expose such widespread corruption in the United States that it just boggles the mind beyond belief! What and whom he exposes have been suspect for a long time by many astute individuals. But the evidence is in. The proof is being documented.

You know, when I ordered the book, I thought I would be getting a volume of natural cures, along with the science and testimonials to back them up. Well, I believe that's what I got (don't know, as I haven't gotten that far into it yet), but I got a whole lot more than I bargained for!

If you don't already own this book, I beg you to get it before all copies of it are confiscated and burned, it's that rattling to the "powers that be"!

You may have seen the recent airing on one of the documentaries that was an attempt to crucify, denigrate, and smear Kevin. (I think it was Geraldo Rivera . . . someone correct me if I'm wrong.)

He announced that Kevin had refused to appear on the program to defend himself. This was not true! The network . . . I believe it was ABC . . . went to Kevin's home unannounced at seven o'clock in the morning; Kevin didn't know they were coming and was still asleep, so he was not given the chance to appear!

No, Kevin is not a medical doctor, and he has no degree in the health arena at all, that I'm aware of. However, he speaks from firsthand knowledge and personal experiences, years of reading, research, travel, and study. He knows whereof he speaks!

And anyone with any semblance of education knows that education consists of those very activities: reading, research, travel, and study. Kevin just did it independently, much the same as yours truly. Actually, Kevin had a huge advantage over a formal course of study: he did not have a chance to be brainwashed by the socialist professors who dominate the landscape of "higher" education.

People, get this book today, if you can still find it. And I'm going to make this dramatic statement: If you follow up on no other recommendation I've ever made, make this one it . . . your life may depend on what you learn!





Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.



Feature Article


Turning Your Desert into Dessert

Are you trudging around in your own personal desert, going in circles, and still can't get to your promised land?

A desert is where nothing lives except a few hardy plants and creatures that have become acclimated to that place.

But you won't find many obstacles there, and if you've planned ahead, you could pass straight through the wasteland unimpeded, without having to slow down for anything.

Conversely, if you have not planned ahead, you could still pass straight through unimpeded, but with one major difference. You would have to slow down for yourself.

You would get very thirsty, unless you got lucky and kept finding those rare oases, and enough of them to get you through. You actually would have created an unnecessary set of obstacles for yourself.

When we attempt to traverse the deserts of our lives and our minds, we are faced with similar dilemmas. We start with a virtual wasteland, with little baggage, and if we have planned our course, we sail right through with few obstacles.

However, if we have no particular destination in mind, we are doomed to wander around in that vast wasteland, oftentimes thirsty for what we don't have, because we did not plan to have it. We started out serendipitously, and our lack of planning has caused us to run dry, dangerously close to total ruin most of the time.

Just as a lack of obstacles can work to our good, that same lack also can work against us. It's true!

Take a little chick as it struggles to escape the eggshell. Some empathetic, well meaning person might try to help end the struggle and free the chick. Big mistake. That little chick needs to go through the struggle, because that struggle is the very thing that will make him strong and able to cope with his environment once he's on his own.

Some obstacles are good in that way. Too many obstacles, however, result from a lack of planning and wear us down into discouragement.

I have a sign on my office door that reads: "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!" Most people get the message.

=========================================================

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Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Question — Why did the Queen of Sheba come to see Solomon?

Answer — It speaks in (1 Kings 10:1 and in 2 Chronicles 9:1) of her coming to "test" Solomon of his wisdom, and after her questions were answered (as none were too difficult for him), they entered into a significant trade, and she then returned to her home.

Most identify "Sheba" as a land which was very fertile, and a center of trade in gold and spices, with routes leading to Africa, India, and the Mediterranean coast, so it is not at all surprising that word of Solomon reached Sheba. It is most likely that the queen’s visit to Solomon was largely for commercial purposes.



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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on
how to combine marriage and a career.



Today's Chuckle


The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store only once! There are six floors, and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads "Floor 1 — These men have jobs."

The second floor sign reads: "Floor 2 — These men have jobs and love kids."

The third floor sign reads: "Floor 3 — These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads "Floor 4 — These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework."

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: "Floor 5 — These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "Floor 6 — You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."





Give Satan an inch, and he'll be a ruler.



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

"You reorganized the "isles"! Come again? That must have been a Herculean job! The only "isles" I know about are in the middle of bodies of water!

Obviously, this writer was referring the "aisles" of a store . . . this could have been a typo, but it wasn't, because the same mistake was repeated several times!

And the beat goes on . . .

=========================================================

Reminder: We offer a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: service@elfexpressionsezine.com





He who angers you controls you.



Internet Hints & Tips


How to Create Your own Scrolling Clock

Do you want to have your own scrolling clock on your web page? Learn how: http://www.youronlinetools.com/resources/scrollclock/

Folks, I just put this on my index page . . . it is so cool!





Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.

—Charles F. Kettering



Guest Article


Save Time with a Tabbed Browser
by Elaine Currie

When you work on the Internet, a tabbed browser is a very useful tool. Working with a tabbed browser will save time on mundane daily tasks and will help to ensure you don't overlook any regular tasks. Tabbed browsers also have the advantage of being completely free and you can download one from the Internet in seconds.

Tabbed browsing allows you to open multiple web pages within a single browser window. Internet Explorer does not support tabbed browsing. Once you switch to a tabbed browser, you'll never go back to Internet Explorer.

With a tabbed browser you can arrange tasks in groups to suit what you need to do. For instance, if you submit advertisements to safe lists every Monday and Wednesday, you can save all the safe list website addresses in groups called Monday Ads" and "Wednesday Ads" (or any names you choose). Then, when Monday or Wednesday arrives, you just click on the appropriate group tab and all the websites will automatically open up in separate pages within your browser. You might have daily tasks to perform, such as checking your commission earnings or checking several email accounts or surfing several traffic exchanges. You can save these websites in separate groups.

When you surf traffic exchanges you will certainly feel the benefits of tabbed browsing. If you use traffic exchange advertising, you will want to make sure you don't overlook surfing any of the sites. Saving all your traffic exchange websites in a group (or groups if you surf a large number of sites) will mean you don't forget any and you will save time by accessing them with one click.

Choose one of the following tabbed browsers: Mozilla Firefox or Crazy Browser. There is a third fairly well-known tabbed browser called Avant Browser but it is less popular and I disliked it when I tried it out, so I never recommend it. Crazy Browser and Avant Browser are based on Internet Explorer and inherit Internet Explorer's weaknesses when it comes to letting in annoying pop-up advertisements. Firefox is a product of Mozilla.

Firefox is generally accepted to be the best tabbed browser for surfing traffic exchanges as it protects you from practically all pop-ups. Crazy Browser is better for editing websites through certain control panels. Another useful feature of Firefox is that it is compatible with the Google toolbar.

After you have downloaded a tabbed browser onto your computer, you can set up your groups.

In Crazy Browser this is done as follows:

1 — Open a page ("tab") by clicking on the new page icon which is at the top left of the screen just under where it says "file." You can also use Ctrl+N.

2 — Type or paste in the address of one of your programs to get the site on screen. Don't log in yet; you want it at your log in page each time you open it.

3 — Click for another new tab and type or paste in another address.

4 — When you have opened as many tabs as you want (up to 8 is most manageable) click on "groups."

5 — In the drop down box click on the second choice - "Add all pages to a group."

6 — Click on the "new folder" icon and give a name to the new group.

To add more sites to any particular group:

1 — You do the same steps up to and including 4.

2 — Click on the first choice in the drop down menu, "Add to group," and select a group where you want to place the new site.

Later, it is simple to move sites from one group to another, delete them, rename groups etc. To do this, simply click on "Groups" and select "Organize groups."

To Access Saved Groups you simply click on "Groups," then select the group you want to open from the drop down menu.

In Firefox, the procedure is virtually identical:

1 — Open a new page by clicking "file" and then "new tab" from the drop down menu or by typing Ctrl+T.

2 — Type or paste in the address of one of your programs to get the site on screen. Don't log in yet, you want it at your log-in page each time you open it.

3 — Click for another new tab and do the same thing.

4 — When you have opened as many tabs as you want (up to 8 is most manageable), click on "Bookmarks" on the toolbar.

5 — Select "Bookmark all tabs" from the dropdown menu.

6 — In the box that appears, click the far right arrow to show all bookmark folders, select "new folder," and type in the name you want to give the group.

To add more sites to any particular group:

1 — You do the same steps up to and including 4.

2 — Click on the first choice in the drop down menu, "Bookmark this page" and select a group where you want to place the new site.

As with Crazy Browser, deleting moving, renaming, etc. is simple. Click on "Bookmarks" and select "Manage bookmarks," so you can keep your sites well organized.

To Access Saved Groups, you click on "Bookmarks," scroll down to the group you want, and click on "open in tabs" at the bottom of the list of URLs.

When you open a group, all of your sites will automatically load in one browser window, and you'll see the tabs for easy navigation. Once you have saved all the sites in groups, you can open them all at the same time and log in. With a tabbed browser and the help of Roboform to save your passwords, you can log in to your group of sites in a matter of seconds.

©2006, Elaine Currie

===========================================================

Elaine Currie has a Work at Home Directory to help women who want to work at home: http://www.huntingvenus.com. She also has reviews of paid survey programs and mystery shopping companies.





In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma,
but never let him be the period.



Inspiration


A Hard Teaching

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

The Bible says that we are all sinners and that all we deserve is hell. Have you ever told a lie?

"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Revelation 21:8

The Bible says that there is a penalty for our sin, and that penalty is death and hell. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

"For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment . . . " 2 Peter 2:4

"And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment . . . " Hebrews 9:27

Jesus paid the penalty for our sins by dying on the cross. "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." 2 Corinthians 5:21

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8




Etcetera

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