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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 7 - Issue 39 - October 23, 2007
Published every Tuesday


Hi, all! Rain, blessed raindrops, are falling—and have been—all afternoon and now into the night in our little corner of the world. Hallelujah!

Don't miss the guest article today about the high percentage of unhappy Americans. One source said that Jay Leno said it, but that isn't true. It was written by Craig Smith, and Jay contributed only the last remark. At the very least, it should make most of us stop and think . . . and thank!

Hope you enjoy the entire issue . . .


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more we all benefit from the promo copy. Thank you!

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Classifieds
Today’s Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


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Contest


Results of the last contest, when the question was — What is the most expensive coffee in the world?

The answer — Kopi Lowak, reputed to be the most expensive coffee in the world. While price can vary, Kopi Lowak (which translates as "Civet coffee") can sell for as much as $50 per quarter-pound. Palm civets are nocturnal, tree-dwelling animals that have a love of coffee beans, which they eat whole, but only digest the outer fruit, leaving the bean intact. While the beans have not been destroyed, they have undergone a transformation while in the digestive tract; the beans retrieved from civet droppings have a unique flavor all their own.

Its strictly limited availability would virtually guarantee a high price, even if the coffee were unremarkable. As it is, Kopi Lowak is reported to have a character unlike any other coffee, complex with caramel undertones and an earthy or gamey flavor.

See J. L. Handlon's copy above.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor slot gratis. So answer this:

What is the largest known spider in the world?

Send to contest@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your promo copy with your entry, so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their copy published, because they did not respond before my deadline.





It's the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us the freedom of the press.

It's the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us the freedom of speech.

It's the soldier, not the politicians,
Who ensure our right to Life, Liberty,
and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It's the soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag.



A Healthier You


This is the sixth in our series of the addition/subtraction eating plan, and today we'll be adding deep breathing.

The kind of deep breathing I'm talking about is "belly" breathing . . . the kind of breathing that takes place naturally when you sleep.

Most people breathe very shallowly, that is, from the chest instead of from the belly. Essentially, we "forget" to breathe and take only "half" breaths.

To "belly" breathe while you are awake, you need to be conscious of breathing and breathe on purpose, making sure you are pushing your stomach out and then deflating it, without involving your chest.

Regular deep breathing will enhance your immune system. It also relaxes you and reduces stress; it increases metabolism and oxygenates your entire body.

Also, keep in mind that taking lots more oxygen into your cells can eliminate multiple diseases. For example, cancer cannot live in an oxygenated body. Ask those who work in research labs; when they want to kill cancer cells, all they do is add oxygen!

Keep in mind that you do not deep breathe through your mouth. Keep your mouth closed at all times, and feel the air moving through your nose and the back of your throat.

Another benefit of deep breathing is that it can help you fall asleep, ideally in fresh air.

I recommend that you deep breathe at least ten times first thing in the morning, either outside or in front of an open window, and then again just before retiring.





"You don't have a soul.
You are a soul.
You have a body."

—C. S. Lewis



Feature Article


A Question for U.S. Christians . . .

Why are you so concerned that "In God We Trust" might be removed from our currency or that "under God" might be removed from our pledge?

Think before you answer.

Is it because you just feel "comfortable" with the presence of these words—or are you truly comfortable with the Presence of the Living Word?

Is it because you don't like change and hold to tradition?

Is it because intuition tells you that tolerating such removal would be tantamount to promoting the removal of the acknowledgment of God from our national mentality?

Or is it that you really do trust in God and want the world to be aware of the fact that the majority of us do?

But we need to ask ourselves the crucial question: Is our trust as superficial as the printing on our coins and bills . . . or do we really trust our Lord?

And then, what does that really mean? To trust Him, we first have to know Him. To know Him, we have to spend time with Him—time listening to Him through His Word.

Faith (trust) comes by hearing. So we also have to listen to wise teachers of the Word, who are well versed in it.

After we then know what His instructions for living are, we have to walk the talk—put our money where our mouth is.

For example, the verse in the exact center of the Bible is Psalm 118:8, which states: "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Do not turn to doctors when the Great Physician is closer than your breath. Will doing so test your faith (trust)? Certainly. And the more we exercise our trust in Him, the stronger it becomes, as in physical exercise.

Do not live in comfortable Christianity; to do so is to say, "In God We Do Not Trust"!

=========================================================

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Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Fill in the blanks: Solomon instructs his son to; "Say unto wisdom, Thou art my _______; and call understanding thy _______"

1 — sister, kinswoman
2 — wife, lover
3 — mother, father
4 — refuge, hope

Scroll down for the answer.





Force and mind are opposites;
morality ends where the gun begins.

—Ayn Rand



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Today's Chuckle


Duh!

Jack, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to Jill at the bar and stared up at the T-V. The ten o'clock news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.

Jill looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack replied, "You know, I bet he will."

Jill said, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on."

Just as Jill placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

Jill was very upset but handed $20 to Jack saying, "Fair's fair, here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the five o'clock news and knew he would jump."

Jill replied, "I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Jack took the money . . .





There is no hope of joy except in human relations.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupery



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

Why, Why, Why do people insist on inserting apostrophes where they have absolutely no business? (Alway's! — irk's — way's — climb's — hand's — thousand's — suggestion's, etc., etc., ad nauseum) Only one of "it's" kind? People, most plurals merely require the addition of a simple "s"!

And with a spelling checker, there is absolutely no excuse for misspellings! Just look at these: Excercize? Senario? Maintenence? Seperate?

And—Pu-leeze—put a space after commas—and other punctuation marks, of course!

And misusages are rampant and appalling: "Shear" instead of "sheer"?

Do not say "limited amount of members," but "limited number of members"! Use "amount" only to indicate a sum which cannot be counted, such as sand or water! "Amount" never may refer to people—or to anything else which may be counted!

And for heaven's sake, stop saying "that" when you mean "who"—"that" refers to things, not to people!

Finally, while the modern trend is to use "insure" in place of "ensure," it is better to reserve "insure" to refer to insurance that is covered by a policy. "Ensure" means to make sure of.

Finally, my daughter shared this with me (it runs in the family!):

Question — What is the longest word in the English language that you can type using only one hand?    Answer — Stewardess.

=========================================================

Reminder: We have a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: service@elfexpressionsezine.com





Today's household hint:

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain, followed by a cup of white vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then flush with hot water.



Internet Hints & Tips


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by Kathryn Beach

It doesn't matter how big or how small your company, or how famous its name. The Internet is the great leveler when it comes to marketing, and e-m*il marketing works the best—and it works for most every company. In fact, it may actually work better for the small niche business.

Anyone can put an e-m*il capture page on a website, upload an e-m*il list, create e-m*il templates, and send out e-m*ils that are Can-Spam compliant with the proper *pt-out links. But the smaller and more niche your business is, the more effective you can be through e-m*il in driving sales.

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"I want to know how God created this world.
I am not interested in this or that phenomenon,
in the spectrum of this or that element.
I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details."

—Albert Einstein



Guest Article



The High Percentage of Unhappy Americans
by Craig R. Smith

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

"The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed, and 69 percent of us are unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence, two-thirds of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

"So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, "What we are so unhappy about?"

"Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, seven days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

"Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state—or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

"I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take us to the hospital.

"Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

"Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen T-Vs, a burglar or a prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss—and this all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents—neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

"How about the complete religious, social, and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

"Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are—the most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have and what we hate about the country, instead of thanking the good Lord that we live here.

"I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out—the President who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11—the President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?

"The commander-in-chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or a talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

"Think about it . . . are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain—or is it because the "media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

"Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.

"They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a "general" discharge, an "other than honorable" discharge, or, worst case scenario, a "dishonorable" discharge after a few days in the brig.

"So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads, and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner?

The media knows this, and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O. J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way . . . insane!

"Stop buying the negativism you are fed every day by the media. Shut off the T-V, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

"We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."

Jay Leno has said:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, and severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

===========================================================





I find television very educating.
Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book.

—Groucho Marx





Answer to Bible trivia:

Answer: 1 — sister, kinswoman
See Proverbs 7:4



Inspiration


Roses For Rose

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, set the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentine's before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card . . . he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card . . . that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote . . .
"Hello, my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please . . . try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."

Written by: PoppyK1@aol.com

Poppy's poems are copyrighted by Fleeting Moments Publishing and may not be reproduced without permission. All copies of poems must include these credits.




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