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Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 8 — Issue 19 — May 20, 2008
Published every Tuesday


Welcome, one and all! Today is a busy one for me, as I am trying to put together, not only this week's issue, but next week's as well because of the time constraints I'll be up against next week, trying to work in a visit to my daughter, who is expecting our 26th grandchild. And as you can well imagine, it's an exciting time for us. You'd think that the excitement would sort of die down after a few, but it doesn't!

So don't be surprised if next week's issue is a little late.

Finally, I'd like to call all AdSense people's attention to the guest article this week. Scott Patterson makes a lot of sense.

And I hope you enjoy this entire issue. :-)


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

——2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Political
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


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Contest


Results of last issue's contest, when the question was — What is the biggest sinkhole?

The answer — Grassy Cove in the Cumberland Mountains of Tennessee is a registered National Natural Landmark. It is probably the biggest sinkhole in North America and is eight miles long by three miles wide. Black Mountain frames this cove, and it provides the backdrop when you're on the cove floor. Read more at http://tinyurl.com/5kyxa. See George Calahan's offer above.

And also see the second Top Sponsor slot above. J. L. Handlon won last week, but because of a glitch in the system, his email did not get through in time.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor slot gratis. So answer this:

What is the largest glass sculpture ever made?

Send to contest.elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your promo copy with your entry, so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their copy published, because they did not respond before my deadline.





If you would lift me up, you must be on higher ground.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson



A Healthier You


Today we're resuming our addition/subtraction lifestyle changes, and it's time to subtract again. And you're probably not going to like this one.

I'm talking about limiting your intake of dairy products, if they are not labelled "raw." Raw milk is straight from the cow (or goat, the best, I believe, and easiest to assimilate) to the bottle. The trouble is, where to find it!

Locally, we had a large popular dairy farm that did offer the raw, unpasteurized milk, butter, and cheese. Unfortunately, one person complained that he got sick from drinking some of the milk and ruined the whole thing for everyone. (I highly doubt that his negative experience resulted from drinking this milk, because we had been drinking it for years, along with eating the butter and cheese, and had never had an adverse reaction.)

Eliminate all pasteurized and homogenized products as far as this is possible for you. The worst part about trying to make this change aside from the costs are just finding the right products. They are not readily available in all parts of the U.S.

The next best option is organic that has been pasteurized.

The last option is organic that has been both pasteurized and homogenized.

The worst kind of dairy to ingest is anything not organic, because if will contain growth hormones and will contribute to your putting on extra pounds. At the very least, it will slow your efforts to drop any pounds.

Read one of the best articles ever written on this subject at http://tinyurl.com/5kbvcp.

This is an excerpt: Besides destroying part of the vitamin C contained in raw milk and encouraging growth of harmful bacteria, pasteurization turns the sugar of milk, known as lactose, into beta-lactose, which is far more soluble and therefore more rapidly absorbed in the system, with the result that the child soon becomes hungry again.

Probably pasteurization's worst offense is that it makes insoluble the major part of the calcium contained in raw milk. This frequently leads to rickets, bad teeth, and nervous troubles, for sufficient calcium content is vital to children; and with the loss of phosphorus also associated with calcium, bone and brain formation suffer serious setbacks.

Years ago whenever we visited with family who lived deep in the heart of the Ozarks, we were able to enjoy fresh milk straight from the next-door dairy farm. And what a treat that was! The taste is far superior to anything you will find in the stores today.

And several years ago we stopped by a local farm that kept goats and asked about buying some of their milk; we were told that they could not legally sell any of their milk, because it was raw. But we were able to make a donation to help feed the goats, and in return, we were given two gallons of the best milk there is! (With God, all things are possible!)

Raw goat's milk is the best, then raw cow's milk, then organic, then organic that has been pasteurized, then organic that has been both pasteurized and homogenized.

If you cannot get any of those, it's best to avoid the stuff altogether.





Interesting note — Every day more money is
printed for Monopoly than for the U.S. Treasury.



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Feature Article


Wildflowers and Sirens

It is simply amazing to me how this world has changed since only twenty years ago.

A few days ago I went for a long, peaceful walk along the bike trail that runs through our community.

Along the way I spotted some beautiful purple wildflowers, and a little farther along some gorgeous wild yellow daisies. They were growing profusely for a long stretch of the way.

So, on the way back, I decided to see if any of them had fragrance. They did, and so I picked quite a few and carried them down the trail.

After I'd walked on another 500 or so feet, a siren began sounding, a rare sound in this area.

Right away, even though the flowers I'd picked were on the public property of the bike trail, the thought crossed my mind that I'd ignorantly broken some law or ordinance.

I actually felt relieved when there was no patrol car in the drive when I got back!

Of course, you know me, I immediately began reflecting on why I'd had this sudden feeling of panic, as though I'd done something wrong.

What I came up with is that, twenty years ago, it never would have crossed my mind that I might get arrested for picking wildflowers!

Think about it. With the rampant "politically correct" crapola and the "non-offense" nonsense extant in our society today, is it any wonder this encroaching feeling of uncertainty is creeping across our land?

It's getting so that you have to weigh your every action.

Another incident occurred this weekend, this time to my husband. He pumped $50 worth of gas at a station just off I-75 and went on his merry way. One of his sons called him and said that the sheriff was looking for him, saying he had driven off without paying!

Fortunately, my husband has been in the habit for many years of getting a receipt for gas purchases. This is the only time he's needed to prove that he had paid.

But this just goes to show that you cannot be too careful in covering your actions and documenting what you do.

Bottom line: It sure ain't my father's world!

=========================================================

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Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Complete the following quote from Jesus: "I am the bread which . . ."

1 — came down from heaven
2 — ye must partake thereof
3 — came from the Father
4 — is given by the Father

Scroll down for the answer.





Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal For inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.



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I don't even own a T-V because I think it's the devil.

—Cameron Diaz



Today's Chuckle


How to use your I.R.S. Rebate check

As you have heard, most of us will be getting a rebate check to stimulate the economy. If we spend the money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . If we spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If we purchase a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits & vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car, it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan. None of which will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America . The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at Yard Sales since those are the only businesses left in the U.S.!





Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

—Theodore Roosevelt



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

Today we'll have a short vocabulary lesson.

Know what ubiquitous means? This is one of those words that you see from time to time but have never taken the trouble to look up.

At least, that's the way it's been with me. But today I finally did look it up.

To my mind, it's kind of an odd word but has the very simple meaning of omnipresent, or existing everywhere, or at least seeming to.

Flies or pesky ants can seem ubiquitous. And, being omnipresent, God is also ubiquitous, although I've never heard anyone refer to the Lord as being such.

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Work is the grand cure of all the maladies
and miseries that ever beset mankind.

—Thomas Carlyle



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Internet Hints & Tips


How To Skyrocket Your Adsense Revenue
by Ba Kiwanuka

Adsense is an advertising model created by Google which uses pay-per-click and pay-per-impression advertising, which is beneficial to both advertisers and webmasters alike.

For advertisers, Adsense is a very efficient way to get access to high volume targeted traffic by having their ads displayed on topically relevant sites. For the webmaster, Adsense can be an extremely lucrative alternative-income source, or as many Adsense gurus have discovered, Google Adsense can well be your primary super-income source.

It's free to join Adsense, and you'd be well advised to read Google's Adsense rules and policies. Google supplies excellent resources on The Do's and The Don'ts of Adsense, as well as very comprehensive tutorials on how to set up and use Adsense.

So for that reason this article will not go into the basics of Adsense, but rather will give you tips on how to become an Adsense expert and join the growing number of Adsense gurus who are making mind-boggling amounts from Adsense!

Dress Your Ads For Success

1 — Don't leave your ads looking like . . . (read the rest of this interesting article at http://tinyurl.com/6mpp3n



Political


I Love This Comeback . . .

One of my sons serves in the military. He is stationed stateside, here in California. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him and his troops everywhere they go.

Telling me how people shake their hands and thank them for being willing to serve and fight, not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them too.

Then he told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that several people were in the line ahead of him, including a woman dressed in a burkha.

He said when she got to the cashier, she made a loud remark about the U.S. flag, lapel pin, the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly, because I'm an American."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

Then, a gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: "Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that you could stand here, in my country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing your countrymen.

"It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in your own country, we wouldn't need to be there today.

"But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq, so you can straighten out the mess in your country, that you are obviously here in my country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!





Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you going to do now—and do it.

—William Durant, founder of General Motors



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Guest Article



How Much Revenue do you Generate from Google Adsense?
by Scott J. Patterson

Recently there has been a lot of discussion about people who earn over $10,000 a month just from Adsense. Furthermore, there are rumors of a few individuals who earn over $1 million a year just from using the power of Google advertisements.

So what is Google Adsense, and how can you use this program to earn a six-figure income?

About two years ago, Google created this program to help websites to monetize their web traffic.

Here's how it works:

Webmasters obtain a special code from Google, which then displays targeted ads on their website. Whenever a visitor clicks on one of these ads, the webmaster earns a commission. Unlike other online businesses, there is no selling involved. All you need to do is get people to click on the ads.

Although this is an excellent way to generate an income, many websites are not effectively maximizing their Adsense potential. As a result, they are leaving a lot of cash on the table.

The question is: how can you increase your Adsense revenue without increasing the number of web visitors?

The key to earning an income with Google Adsense is to have your ads match the rest of the site, making them look like part of your content. Your focus is to avoid having the Adsense blocks look like blatant advertisements.

The following are six ways that you can do this and increase your revenue at the same time:

1 — Find the right place. Most website visitors read content that is in the middle of a web page. As a result, the best place to put your Adsense block is in the top part of the page, at the beginning of your web content. You want to weave the Google Ads into your web content to give the appearance that they are extra links which expand on the information of the page.

2 — Use the Large Rectangle. With Google Adsense, you have the option of picking different ad formats. Most of the time people opt to use the Leaderboard (728x90) or Wide Skyscraper (160x600) style ads. Unfortunately, this is the wrong choice, because both look like blatant advertisements. Instead, smart webmasters have found that using the Large Rectangle (336x280) yields the best number of click- thrus.

3 — Ditch the border. Many people experience a sharp increase in Adsense revenue when they change their border. What they change is very simple. They get rid of the border on their Adsense blocks. This is another way to make the advertisements look like useful web content.

4 — Adapt the font. Whenever you write content, it should be the same font size and style as your Google Adsense block. This will help make it appear that the advertisements are a natural part of your website.

5 — Match the colors. In addition to changing the fonts, you also should match the colors of your website. For instance, if your content is written in black, and your hyperlinks are blue, then the Adsense blocks should also be the same color. Again, this helps the advertisements appear to be normal web content.

6 — Don't have too many distractions. On a web page, it is important to give web visitors a limited number of options. By having too many links and graphics, web visitors might go to a section that doesn't help increase your profits. While it is important to inform and entertain your web visitors, it is also vital that you monetize your site. So if the main focus of your site is to earn an income through Google Adsense, then get rid of all non-essential links and graphics.

By taking the time to implement these six simple steps, you'll see a dramatic increase in the click-thru ratio of your ads. If added to all of the content of your site, your Adsense income will skyrocket!

©2006, Scott J. Patterson

===========================================================

Scott J. Patterson earns over $12,000 a month, mostly through Google Adsense. To read about this and other residence businesses you can try, download his free ebook, The Secret Guide to (Residence) Businesses: http://tinyurl.com/5amze3





A failure is a man who has blundered, but
is not able to cash in on the experience.

—Elbert Hubbard



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Answer to Bible trivia:

1 — came down from heaven is correct.
See John 6:51



Inspiration


The Frog

I was told a story about a lady in the hospital who was near death when an area Chaplain came to visit her. This Chaplain was a very young female with long blond hair.

She listened to the lady who was ill and left her a small gift for comfort. It was a tiny ceramic frog.

The next day one of the people from the lady's church came to visit. The lady told her friend about the beautiful young Chaplain who had come to visit her.

The friend was so impressed with the way the lady had improved she felt the need to talk to the young Chaplain. In her search to find the young gal, she was repeatedly reassured that the chaplains are never very young and that there was never a gal that fit the description given.

Upon returning to the lady in the hospital, a visiting nurse entered the room and noticed the ceramic frog. The nurse made the comment "I see you have a guardian angel with you," as she held the little frog.

We asked why she made the comment, and we were informed that the frog stood for: (F) Forever (R) Rely (O) On (G) God.

To the world you might be one person; but to one person you might be the world.

Author Unknown




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