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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 8 — Issue 23 — June 17, 2008
Published every Tuesday


Good day to everyone! It's been a week of reflection for me, triggered by a major fire at a huge local flea market, where a friend/tenant has a very profitable electronics business. Fortunately for Jonathan, his inventory suffered only minor smoke damage. Others, however, fared much worse. Many lost everything. Some of them had spent years building their businesses, and in one hour everything went up in smoke!

The fire started because someone wasn't playing by the rules, and the owners of the flea market were aware of it but looked the other way, because he otherwise was a long-time star tenant, who rented several booths. So after an investigation, it is highly doubtful if the owners' insurance company will cover even the buildings.

The renters, of course, had no insurance . . . why? Because the owners would not allow it (wonder why?)! And also, I've learned that most insurance companies would not insure them anyway, because a flea market is considered a temporary location, even though many of them had been there for a number of years.

So I've been reflecting once again how foolish it is to lay up treasures here on the earth instead of putting the bulk of our attention on laying up treasures in heaven. Life and its trappings are so fleeting and vulnerable . . .


--------------------------


In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

------------------------------------

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Political
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


Top Sponsor


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Contest


Results of last issue's contest, when the question was — Who has the largest hornet nest sculpture in the world?

The answer — Yoshikuni Shiozawa of Nagano, Japan made a Mount Fuji model measuring 3.766 m (12.25 ft) high and 4.8 m (15.6 ft) wide at the base by joining together 160 hornet nests, containing an estimated 160,000 yellow hornets. Shiozawa is the owner of a hornet museum named Hachi-Tengoku, meaning "Paradise for Hornets," and has created three previous hornet sculptures. All the hornets inside the combined nests live together without conflict as one giant hive. See William Petersen's offer above.

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor slot gratis. So answer this:

Who was the first person to walk around the world?

Send to contest@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your promo copy with your entry, so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their copy published, because they did not respond before my deadline.





Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go.

—Oscar Wilde



A Healthier You


Continuing right along with our "mathematical" lifestyle changes, this week we'll be subtracting . . . deodorant!

What?! Now, I'm not suggesting that you give it all up, just the kind that is harmful to you . . . those that contain aluminum sulfate. And that is virtually every supermarket/drug store brand out there, with few exceptions.

Antiperspirants, even so-called "natural" ones contain aluminum that work to clog our pores and stop us from perspiring. Aluminum is a poison. It has been linked to Alzheimer's disease. There is new research which indicates that there may be a link between breast cancer and antiperspirants. In particular, studies are showing that it travels more freely into our lymphatic system when underarms are shaved.

Read the label on what you're using now, and if you see any of the following on it, pitch it today:

  • aluminum chlorohydrate
  • ammonium aluminum sulfate
  • potassium alum
  • potassium aluminum sulfate

Then visit your health food store and buy one without it. There is a good variety of alternatives.





I am always doing things I can't do;
that's how I get to do them.

—Pablo Picasso



Feature Article


Why do so Many People Keep Pets?

Have you ever wondered about this? I don't know for sure, but with the relatively sudden appearance of a plethora of super pet stores and the burgeoning growth of the industry in general, my guess is that it might have something to do with people wanting to decrease the stress that plagues all of us.

Personally, we do not have any pets, because we have no time—or space—for them and don't want the extra work and responsibility.

But many people, especially those with children at home, for some reason do wish to care for one or more pets. And I realize that some parents simply yield to the "want ones" from their kids. And that's okay, as long as they also teach those kids the responsibility that goes along with pet ownership. Sadly, many don't.

Some single people seem to acquire pet(s) as a status symbol or as a means to meeting someone by establishing an excuse to speak to someone while out walking or running.

Still others are simply lonely and dote on their pet(s) as they might dote on a husband/wife if they had one.

Now, you would think that anyone who has or would be thinking about acquiring a pet, especially a relatively large one, would already be a home owner, wouldn't you? Well, if that's what you think, you would be wrong!

How do I know that?

Because I'm a property manager, and it just boggles my mind the number of people who call and ask if we accept pets. We have both single rooms and one-bedroom apartments, but that doesn't seem to faze these people.

I mean some of these people have not one large dog or cat, but several . . . and they expect someone to rent them a small room or apartment? Makes you wonder what goes through their minds (if anything)!

Don't get me wrong. I love cuddly animals and have had many pets in years past . . . but always in a house with a yard that we owned. And our dogs did their business in our yard, not on public grounds.

Then, of course, there are those home owners (or home renters, as the case may be), who allow their dogs to become nuisances in otherwise quiet neighborhoods. They bark incessantly for hours at a time, to the apparent unconcern of their owners, and disturb others' peace.

Years ago, I remember resorting to sleeping with a box fan on "high" just so that I could get to sleep, because of a neighbor's "pet." When I complained to that neighbor, she told me that their Border Collie was a "watch" dog . . . really? How would they ever know if someone was intruding, because the dog barked non-stop? She could not have cared less if neighbors were being disturbed!

Again, the question is, why do these people insist on harboring these animals at the expense of their neighbors' peace and quiet?

=========================================================

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Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Question — Fill in the blanks: "Remember now thy ________ in the days of thy _____,"

1 — father, rebellion
2 — Creator, youth
3 — mother, suckling
4 — teacher, childhood

Scroll down for the answer.





A patriot must always be ready to defend
his country against his government.

—Edward Abbey (1927-1989)



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Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400



Today's Chuckle


A Better Way

No nursing home for us. We are checking into the Holiday Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble.

We have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special T-V movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, laundry facilities, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever; you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too. T-V broken? Lightbulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything—and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days for a mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when we reach that golden age, we'll face it with a grin. Just forward all our email to the Holiday Inn!





A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

This one concerns the misuse of "then" and "than." It is hard to believe that people don't know the difference between these two words. But we have to assume that it's all part of the dumbing-down-of-America syndrome so evident today.

"Then" can mean

——a point in time or it can mean
——a point in a sequence (instead of the word "next") or it can mean
——a contingency, as in: "If such-and-such happens, then. . . " or
——it can be used in place of "on the other hand."

"Than" is used as a comparative, as in "more than" or "better than."

=========================================================

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Bumper Sticker We Would Like To See:

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Internet Hints & Tips


Email Marketing Best Practices
by Brandon Milford

Permission-based email marketing is one of the most powerful ways to build your business.

As a business owner, you realize the importance of staying in front of your customers and prospects. By deploying a timely e-newsletter to touch base with your customers and prospects, you stay fresh in their minds, build credibility, and keep the communication channel open by eliciting product and/or service enquiries from your recipients.

This will lead to repeat purchases and higher conversions. Below are a few pointers in ensuring that your permission-based email marketing campaign is a true asset to your company.

Building Your Lists

There are a number of ways to build your opt-in list of subscribers. Below I have compiled a list to help you get started.

If your business has a physical location ask visitors to fill out a card giving you permission to contact them via email with product/service updates.

Include a sign-up form on your website. Most permission-based email marketing software programs will include a tool allowing you to create a sign-up form. This allows you to easily capture the email addresses (and any additional information) from your website's visitors.

Enjoy the rest of this article at http://tinyurl.com/mvr49.



Political


You must watch this clip! This comes from our "law makers." Certainly, this will improve our energy problem. At least there is one person in Congress who sees how ridiculous this law is!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e-LOtKIIKcg




Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

—Leo Buscaglia



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Guest Article



How to Market Your Unsold Books on the Internet: It's Easy
by Judy Cullins

Your book expresses your wondrous information, your creativity, your genius. It's your dream come true. Or is it? You have already tried a few venues—maybe an expo, book signings, press releases, book reviews, distributors, wholesalers, speaking and book tours.

Now, there is a new way to market those unsold books. Use the Internet. And you don't even have to have your own Web site or spend money.

Get ready to create a continuous, passive income. Be ready for those checks and credit card charges coming your way often!

What Kind of Books Can I Market?

Depending on your passion, your willingness to learn a new way, and putting energy into your campaign, you can market any kind of book: how-to, non-fiction, fiction, short special reports, booklets, training manuals, workbooks, poetry, short stories, articles.

Sell your Print Books and Create New eBooks.

If you already have a print book, you can still sell it Online. One way to draw attention to it is to write a short eBook on the same subject. This won't take long.

Make this eBook around 10-25 pages. You can take the information right from your print book. Just copy and paste information on one topic, perhaps one chapter. Reduce the number of stories to keep it short. Then add a new introduction and conclusion. People on the Net want straight-to-the point information.

Put your eBook into Word and Portable Document Format.Use your Word file to update and edit and use your PDF file to send your book by email or from your Web site.

Who Will Buy?

You can sell your short eBook for 6.95-$19.95, depending on how much your audience wants it and how well you write your sales copy. You can also give this book away to stimulate your audience to want the whole story--the print book.

Online audiences read all kinds of books. Many will want the shorter electronic version and be perfectly willing to print it. Others only want a book they can hold and enjoy on their nightstand a long time.They will buy the print version.

To publicize your books, start writing short articles, anywhere from 300-1200 words on your book's topics. When you submit to online publishers, Web masters and ezine owners, each article will be seen by thousands, even hundreds of thousands of online readers. They are hungry for information. That's why they go to the Web. After a few months, your articles will be listed on maybe a thousand other Web sites with a link back to where you sell your book. This number grows as your submissions. Your bookcoach is now listed on over 123,000.

At the bottom of the ezine, add a signature file that gives your title, tag line, book title, free offer, phone numbers, and email and Web addresses.

While your title may impress some, your tag line is far more important. What major benefit do you bring potential buyers? For example, "Helps professionals make money on their books through the Internet." Offer a free report or a free ezine to seal the deal. You please your audience by giving free information, which may lead them to check out your book sales copy—even buy your book.

When they visit your site, they may subscribe to your ezine or order a free special report. Here, you collect their email and can use it later for more announcements. This is permission marketing.

Divide and conquer. Use your one book as a springboard for many others and catapult your sales. Knowing that at least 10% of book sales come from the Internet, check it out.

©2005, Judy Cullins

===========================================================

Judy Cullins, 20-year Book and Internet Marketing Coach, works with small business people who want to make a difference in people's lives, build their credibility and clients, and make a consistent life-long income. Judy is author of 10 eBooks, including Write your eBook or Other Short Book Fast, Ten Non-Techie Ways to Market Your Book Online, The Fast and Cheap Way to Explode Your Targeted Web Traffic, and Power Writing for Web Sites That Sell. She offers free help through her two monthly ezines, "The BookCoach Says...," "Business Tip of the Month," blog Q&A at http://www.bookcoaching.com and over 200 free articles. Judy@bookcoaching.com — Phone: 619/466-0622 — Orders: 866/200-9743





The average human eats 8 spiders
in his lifetime at night.

Question — Who determined this . . . and how?



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Answer to Bible trivia:

2 — Creator, youth
See Ecclesiastes 12:1



Inspiration


A Jar of Sauce can Make you Bigger
by Helaine Iris

"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are." —Max Depree

It's funny how the seemingly simplest events in life can be doorways into profound moments of self realization and growth. I had a meltdown this afternoon. Albeit brief, it had all the qualities of a full fledged tantrum. It was no fun.

There I was in my kitchen making lasagna for the dinner guests I was expecting. All was going well. I was organized, had everything moving smoothly and was thoroughly enjoying chopping and sautéing and tasting bits and pieces of delicious ingredients. In the middle of my happy, creative storm the phone rang. It was my husband who has been away for the first week of a three week adventure.

I was delighted to hear his voice; I was hoping he'd call. We caught up on the mundane details of his trip and how I was doing managing alone. Then he began to share some of the deeper layers of his inspired musings with regard to our life together. He told me his attention had been on some of the rather large life changes we've both been percolating on for a while.

My pulse began to quicken as he described from his fresh perspective, and the space between us, how he's ready and committed to step into a larger life for him/us. He talked about wanting to move on the ideas we've both been flirting with for a while. He asked me if I was willing to join him in pushing the envelope of our comfortable and somewhat out grown life.

I listened, felt the renewal in his spirit and could find agreement and admiration with what he was saying. He was determined to grow and push himself and us into new territory. We completed our conversation on a loving note both aware that there would be a "communication blackout" for the next week as he heads into the New Mexico desert.

I immediately went back to my lasagna project. The next task to be completed was opening the jar of sauce. I couldn't get it open for the life of me. I hit the bottom, ran it under hot water, banged on the top, dug out the rubber jar opener thingy-- it still wouldn't budge. "Ok", I thought, "I'm smart". I know how to walk away from frustration and then reapproach with a new perspective. I put the jar down, walked away and returned a few minutes later and tried again. I still couldn't get that @#@% lid loose.

That was it. I began to cry, I wanted to throw the jar across the room. I was on the floor of the kitchen sobbing over a stuck lid. Fortunately, I was alone in the house, I'm sure I sounded ridiculous. After about a minute the thought crossed my mind, "What are you really upset about?" Instantly, I went back to my conversation with Jeremy. I realized I was scared. Scared of the inevitable growth that was on both of our doorsteps.

There on the floor, my favorite quote from Anais Nin sprang to mind, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." I knew in my heart of hearts the bud HAD gotten too tight and he was right, it is, indeed, time to blossom.

For better or worse, what I've come to discover, is that it often takes the courage (or fumblings) of one person in a partnership to lead the way into a growth cycle. For one person to be willing to push against convention and through the comfort zone into new and scary territory makes you both bigger.

I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes on the dishtowel and went for the jar of sauce. It opened with no effort.

I finished the lasagna. As it was baking I felt myself start to relax. Whatever we have to face we'll do it as a team. We'll blossom together. I can do that.

It's your life . . . imagine the possibilities!


Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer, and teacher who loves her life. She works with individuals and self-employed professionals, who want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values, and gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For a solution focussed, free initial consultation, visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or call her 603-357-8546 or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com




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