Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.
Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 8 — Issue 27 — July 15, 2008
Published every Tuesday
Hi, readers . . . and welcome to all new people!
It is yet another glorious day, both weather-wise (at least, in our part of these good ol' United States) and peace-wise.
I thank God every day for those blessings of peace and the freedoms that we still enjoy. Plus, it is good to thank the Lord for our health (even though it may be less than perfect for some), the protection of our families and friends, and all the small things that we tend to take for granted.
So, today I hope you enjoy this issue and that you will count it among your blessings as well! :-)
--------------------------
In
Remembrance of
September 11, 2001
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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
—2 Chronicles 7:14
Contents:
Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera
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Contest
Results of last issue's contest, when the question was What is the biggest book of signatures in the world?
Answer — In 1998, Amnesty International gathered over 10 million signatures from 125 countries in its year-long Get Up Sign Up campaign, pledging support for the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. The signatures were compiled into a book and presented to Kofi Annan, the U.N. Secretary General, in Paris on the 50th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights on December 10, 1998. No one got it, so let's try again this week.
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What is the most expensive house built in the world?
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Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
—Henry Ford
A Healthier You
For those of you who have been following our "mathematical" lifestyle changes, it's time to add again.
This time it's the "magic" juices. I know you've heard of them, but they really are special, even though the U.S. Government bastardizes them by requiring pasteurization. And some have a natural ingredient added as a preservative, but the positives override the negatives by far.
Some of these juices are available at health food stores, but some are available only through marketing companies.
The "magic" juices are acai berry, goji, seabuckthorn, noni, mangosteen, and aloe vera. (If you get aloe vera, be sure it is the dark variety, not the clear, watered down kind.)
Not only are these juices full of supernutrients, but they also help cleanse and detoxify. And despite the pasteurization, they have nearly miraculous healing properties.
Ordinarily, I recommend juicing the fresh fruits, but these particular fruits are not only hard to find, they are very expensive. The bottled varieties work just fine in this case.
The louder he spoke of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Feature Article
Glimpses Through the Veil
Readers, I'm doing something a little different today. Instead of writing the feature article, I'm going to ask you all to write it for me!
What I mean by that is, I have been reading a book, which is a compilation of true stories that provide comfort, hope, and reassurance from "beyond the veil," and now I'd like to start compiling my own collection of similar stories.
So, if you have had an encounter with angels or any kind of sign that you deem to be spiritual in nature, please email me at elfbutter@sbcglobal.net. Now, please do not send in anything that smacks of the psychic or occult, only experiences that do not "fly in the face" of the Bible. They do not have to be biblical per se, just nothing contradictory. Often, these events might be considered coincidental.
For example, my Dad went fishing in Canada and passed there. Before he left, he told my Mom that he was going to cut down the apparently dead tree behind the garage. A month or so after his funeral, Mom and I were in the backyard one day when we happened to look up and notice that that "dead" tree was now in full leaf and, apparently, healthy! Nothing supernatural, just an amazing "coincidence"!
I sincerely hope that many of you will respond with your experiences, and you will receive public acknowledgment (or not), as you wish.
Fill in the blank, "Likewise must ____________ be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre . . ."
1 — wives
2 — husbands
3 — deacons
4 — bishops
Scroll down for the answer.
Strange but interesting fact:
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On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
Today's Chuckle
Hoover!
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the
first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him
mutter "Hoover!" under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water
hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occured and Fr. Murphy's drive
landed on the green only six inches from the hole!
"Praise be to God!"
He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around
the hole instead of going in.
"Hoover!"
By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity
any longer, and asked why the priest said "Hoover."
"It's the biggest dam I know."
Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using only the letters on one row of the keyboard.
Stewardesses is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
Today's English Lesson
Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!
Here's another instance of misusage that piques my dander!
"Peak" is usually a noun and refers to something pointed, as a beard, or a mountain summit, or a point of greatest development, value, height, or intensity.
"Peak" also can be a verb, as when referring to a given thing reaching its "peak," or highest point, we say that it is "peaking" or "peaked," as in the case of whipped cream.
Another use of "peak" is to refer to someone who looks pale and sickly as "peaked."
And "peak" can also be an adjective, as when we say that something has reached its "peak," or its highest point.
"Peek" can be a noun or a verb. As a verb, it means to glance at quickly or furtively, and as a noun, it is used as in to sneak a "peek" at something. You can usually keep "peak" and "peek" straight by remembering that "peek" can be used interchangeable with "peep" in most cases.
"Pique" can be a noun or a verb again. As a noun, it refers to resentment at wounded pride. As a verb, it refers to causing feelings of vexation, resentment, arousal, or provocation. An example would be that "it was an event that 'piqued' my curiosity."
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Amazing true quote from a five-year-old speaking to his new baby brother: "Tell me what God is like . . . I think I'm forgetting!"
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Internet Hints & Tips
5 Free Internet Marketing Methods You Should Use for
Maximum Traffic and Sales
by Jinger Jarrett
If you want to market your business on the internet for free, there are five techniques you can use that are absolutely free.
Some will require a little bit of knowledge in order to implement them, but once you have them in place, you can continue to drive tons of traffic to your website.
1 — Blogs/R.S.S.
By blogging, you can build a relationship with your potential customers by providing information about your business.
You can build a free blog on sites like Blogger—http://www.blogger.com—and submit your R.S.S. feed for your blog to the major blogging sites.
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The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510
Phone (202) 224 3254
Subject: Becoming Illegal
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an
effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal
alien, and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was
recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my
understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as
an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five
years. I know a good deal when I see one, and I am anxious
to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have
had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the
prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for
paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to
be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family, because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien, I could begin using the
local emergency room as my primary health care provider.
Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance,
my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to
her law school applications, as well as "in-state"
tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status
would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's
license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums.
This is very important to me, given that I still have college
age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the
necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for
your assistance.
Your loyal constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, Iowa
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Learning is pleasurable, but doing is the height of enjoyment.
—Novali, German poet
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Guest Article
Bid High if You're on a Budget by Steven Lohrenz
Adwords is a great, instanteous way to turn traffic on for your site. But it can get expensive, fast.
So we're going to go over one way to quickly lower the costs of your
campaigns.
But first some basics about AdWords.
Adwords uses a formula to determine your ad position—bid amount
times the keyword quality score.
Quality Score?
Quality score is determined by your keyword's click-through rate,
relevance of your ad text, historical keyword performance, and other
relevancy factors.
Got it? So there's the relevancy, click-through rate and some other
hand waving. What we're going to concentrate on is the click-through
rate for this exercise.
The end result is—the higher the click-through rate, the less you
have to pay for the positions you want. For example, if you have a
twice the click-through rate of your competitors, you only need to
have 1/2 the price to get the same ad position.
Fantastic! But how do I . . .
Get a Better Click-through Rate?
There are three major things you can do to increase your click-through rates:
1 — Have higher positioned ads. This may be completely obvious, but
the higher positioned ads get better click-through rates! (Generally
they have lower conversion rates, so you need to find your business'
"sweet spot.")
2 — Put the keyword in the headline. This may mean you have a lot of
smaller adgroups—but the effort is well worth the money you'll save. This also positively affects the relevancy determination used by Google (see quality score above) acting as a one-two punch to help you getter better position.
3 — Split Test. You have to be constantly split testing your ads and
determining new winners. Slowly but surely you'll increase your
click-through rate. This is more of a long term strategy. But you
should be split testing from the beginning, so don't ignore it.
Early on, before you have any relevancy score, the only way you're
going to be able to get a higher ad position is by . . .
Bidding High
Counter-intuitive to saving money? Yes.
But after you have 10-100 click-throughs at ad positions 1-3 with
(hopefully) above 5% click-through rates, you'll notice the minimum bid for each keyword has been lowered. What was once $0.30 is now $0.08. Once this happens, you'll slash your bid prices and you'll be able to maintain a good position at a much lower cost.
You could reach the same place by bidding low and consistently split
testing over the coming months until your click-through rates are high enough to lower your bid prices. But that's months of testing and paying the default minimum bid prices if not more . . .). Spending a couple of days to a week paying higher prices will preserve more of your money and time in the long run.
Visit my blog and learn the art & science of converting your
personal computer into an automated personal cash register. Steven
Lohrenz. See Making Money Online
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