You are not going to believe this . . . well,
maybe you will. These are the brains running this country . . . past and present.
A D.C. airport ticket agent offers some examples of
why our country is in trouble!
1 — I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (on an airplane!)
2 — I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who
wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information; then she interrupted me with,
"I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts—Capetown is in Africa."
Her response—click.
3 — A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to
explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!" (O.M.G.)
4 — I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,
"Is it possible to see England from Canada?"
I said, "No." She said, "'But
they look so close on the map." (O.M.G. again!)
5 — An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
"I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6 — An Illinois Congresswoman called last week.
She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
that.
7 — A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag on my luggage that said (F.A.T.), and
I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked
into it (I was laughing.), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, California is (F.A.T. — Fresno Air Terminal),
and the airline was just putting a destination tag on
her luggage.
8 — A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California,
and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9 — I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
"I was told my flight number is 823, but none
of these planes have numbers on them."
10 — A lady Senator called and said, "I need to
fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Florida on a
commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11 — A senior Senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times, and
every time they have accepted my
American Express!"
12 — A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make
reservations,
"I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ."
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said,
"Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, I came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country
and can't find a rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be
silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big
animal."
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
it's in!
Yes, they walk among us, are in politics, and they
continue to breed!
